This isn't much of a game, I know, I know. Calm down. I was getting bored and I felt like digging through some of my stupid non-games again.
Enjoy the load of dumb references I stuffed into it. Even the code is hilarious.
Feel free to suggest more unfortunate events and references, I might actually pick up my ass just to update this bit.
P.S. I know it doesn't explain anything. You just have to click on it lol
Update: Now playable on mobile, I think. And there's a couple new misfortunes to uncover. :)