Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

How to piss off 2 dictators and 1 company in 20 minutes

HBO: John? Why do we have a 200 thousand dollar invoice from a Bakery? John: Laughs in Emmys

“I guess we don’t run a brutal enough dictatorship to meet Guinness Book of World Records high ethical standards.” That was a legendary burn.

“That might be the single most ethically defensible use of drones in the Middle East.” The laughter that cut short and immediately turned into gasps has given me new life

"I guess we don't run a brutal enough dictatorship that meets Guinness Book of World Records' high ethical standards". That burn was hotter than the fire pit around which you have to do donuts to prove that you're alive.

Thinks this is gonna be a 20 minute video exposing a dictator Actually exposes Guinness World Records

I’m glad this episode looks trivial on the outside, because it truly understands how to upset a dictator. Sure John and crew could go into details about war atrocities and how bad his country is, but dictators kinda like that. It gives them a scary look and they can wear their monstrous deeds like a little gold star. By focusing on the shit that makes them look weird and ridiculous, they are humanized and brought down to the childish level they operate at, the kind of “no critics” egotistical fuckery that festers when you literally kill everyone who disagrees with you. There’s a reason why dictators take care of comedians early on... they cannot stand to be mocked. And that’s not fair considering how much hilarious source material they give us to work with.

John could do a whole show on Guinness World Records. That tangent scratched the surface of how corrupt the organization has become.

My mans just baked a 600 square foot cake to piss off a dictator. I can't even...

I don't know what's more impressive...that ginormous cake or John pronouncing Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov perfectly every time

Guinness public response to this episode is just epic. “We were disappointed to see the false and unfair allegations about Guinness World Records in Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The piece appears to have been motivated by our decision not to participate in tonight’s show. We were asked to provide a judge to officiate the so-called world record attempt for ‘largest cake with an image of someone falling off a horse.’ On the basis that it was merely an opportunity to mock one of our record-holders, we declined. It is our policy not to partake in any activities which may belittle their achievements or subject them to ridicule”

The 'nay' joke is arguably one of the funniest dad jokes I have ever heard 😂💀

John Oliver has big “hold my beer” and “watch this” energy with a big budget

I’ll admit, I did not expect this to turn into a Guinness World Records exposé

The leader before him (Saparmurat Niyazov aka Turkmenbashi; which means "Leader of the Turkmen") almost built an ice palace in the middle of a desert, renamed months after his family, and named a city after himself. He also made people read his book the Ruhnama, basically his book of opinions that all Turkmen had to agree with. If you want to drive, you had to pass a test about the Ruhnama. Did I mention he ALSO had a golden statue of himself that rotated so that it would ALWAYS face the Sun, to symbolize that his age was the golden age? AND he was the one who spent the country's natural gas money on all those fancy marble buildings in the capital instead of on the people's needs? Yeah, his predecessor was just as crazy, if not CRAZIER than he was.

Just coming back here to tell you that Gurbanguly's son, Serdar, succeeds in his father's role as the president of Turkmenistan.

And THIS is why John Oliver wins the goddamn Emmy EVERY YEAR!!!!!!!!

Guiness World Records: "Our brand is aligned with kids and families." Also Guiness World Records: "Hey kids, wanna hear about the oldest male stripper?"

Even though this is four years old, I still remember this man’s name, and occasionally when I’m sleeping, I whispered to myself “Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow”

As an ex-citizen of Turkmenistan, I love you John!