How to Stop Saying Sorry Too Much - Stop Over-Apologizing
45,514
Published 2023-02-16
Stop apologizing and improve your self-esteem in this course by expert Dr. Carly LeBaron: courses.therapyinanutshell.com/improve-your-self-e…
Have you ever found yourself saying sorry for things that didn’t really deserve an apology in the first place?
I once had a friend ask me “do you always apologize after giving someone a gift?” It shook me a little because I had no idea I was doing that. But when I started watching myself I totally did. I grew up in a culture of over-apologizing and it wasn’t until my 30’s that I realized how harmful it can be.
Saying sorry too much undermines how others see you and how you see yourself, and that can really impact you both at home and in the workplace.
In this video you’ll learn why you say sorry too much, how this messes up relationships and how to stop over-apologizing.
00:00 Introduction to over-apologizing
00:57 Learn to improve your self-esteem with this course
01:29 What Is Over-Apologizing, and Is It a Problem?
03:03 Why do People Over-Apologize?
05:33 4 Steps to stop over-apologizing
Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescr…
Support my mission on Patreon: www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my favorite self-help books: kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
All Comments (21)
-
I’ve realized my sorrys are more of an apology for inconveniencing others with my mere existence.
-
Now do one on people that refuse to apologize please.
-
The assertiveness book “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” is what helped me stop doing this.
-
As a Canadian I apologize to a door if I bump into it.😂
-
My employer stated b/4 the entire staff that I was the most insincere person he knew. It really hurt my feelings. Turned out that saying "sorry" & saying "appreciate ya" so much led him to that thinking. I have come to recognize it as, in my life, so many others withholding saying those very same things to me when it would have been valid, is why I say it to others. Thank you so much for your counsels and advice; always helpful!
-
All the time! I was raised to worry too much about what others think.
-
A lightbulb went off for me when you mentioned apologizing to avoid conflict. Also interest to understand why the other person may not like the apologizing. Thanks.
-
I very much needed this. I over apologize ALL THE TIME. It’s a self-esteem thing.
-
Can you please make a video on how to stop taking things personally?
-
It helped me to stop apologizing having people around me who would ask every time "what are you apologizing for?" that and my therapy that taught me about boundaries and assigning appropriate responsibility for things. It also helped that after starting to refuse to take blame for things like the weather I started to look at why I was thinking I needed to.
-
Here in Canada 🇨🇦, it’s in our DNA to say sorry for basically everything! 😂
-
This topic hit the nail on the head for me ! My therapist JUST told me she wants me to try and stop apologizing for the next week to help me with my insecurities. Thank you so much! This was very helpful and came at the perfect time!
-
I usually apologise, and say sorry for saying sorry!
-
I do/did this. It's from childhood trauma; walking on eggshells because of a NPD Mom. My husband pointed it out and I stopped doing ti for the most part!
-
Canadian here, bump into a table and hard wired to say sorry. Sorry for pointing out sorry is a figure of speech, not always related to self esteem.😊
-
I used to be so guilty of this. And then, someone turned it on me, and it really hurt, because asking them for the simplest things whould be met with hurt apologising. I never understood how manipulative can it be, and how much pain can it cause to the other person. I did my best to stop. I am still overly socially submissive, but I don't apologise so much anymore.
-
"Reassurance seeking"! OMG, I do this! Thank you!
-
Recovering people pleasers from all over thank you!
-
Thank you for this video. I have a bad case of over apologizing.
-
This was me for most of my life, but I have gradually been breaking away from it over the years. I really appreciated all of your examples on what we can say instead! Love your videos!
