35 year old Failed life: 1 year on

Adam, try not to fall into this fallacy that your best work years are in your twenties or that it’s ‘humiliating’ to learn from junior staff. I work around people in their 40s and 50s who completely switched up their career in later life and they are thriving. I used to have a similar mindset and it paralysed me from taking any significant action.

Adam, action will create more actions but overthinking will only create more thinking. Just do because it's never the right time pal

My brother in law is in a very similar situation at 38 - we’ve heard about his upbringing/type of parental relationship and we wondered if he had a “failure to launch” because of the relationship he has with his parents, they are very much still “in charge” and he doesn’t seem to feel confident in making his own decisions. Leaving home for the first time will often mean a significant drop in quality of living, not such a nice home, in such a nice place, living with people that might not be great, it is nothing in comparison to your parents home, but it will be yours and that struggle can be how you find your feet on your own and start being autonomous. But it is a risk and a bit terrifying to take the leap into the unknown - your next destination doesn’t have to be perfect or even perfectly planned, it just has to be your own choice.

The viewership is testament to just how many brothers and sisters there are out there who are feeling just like you are. Relationships DO fail, massively, and we are in a f-ed up place (some more than others). Sometimes we have to watch everything collapse around us to build it back up, and thats not where I had been hoping to be at 44. But here we are. Stay strong friend, brighter days are ahead.

I just want to say as a bloke who has a wife and kids who moved away from his mates who are single (we are mid 30s), I miss not having them around because they are always up for hanging out. All the Blokes I know now are tied down are and way less interested in socialising so sometimes you’ve got to see that as a strength that you bring to the group and that’s mateship and always keen to hang out. Make sure you reach out to them and invite them out. I know I’d appreciate it.

I think its pretty brave to put yourself out there like this, thankyou !

Hi Adam, really hope you’re doing ok. Thank you for posting, I’m a woman, turning 40 next year and can massively relate (I’m living with my mum, dead end job, useless degree, slowly killing off friendships and my health via my depression). I feel like I’m on the sidelines and life has completely passed me by. Anyway just wanted to send you a virtual hug, and birthday wishes xx

From watching this I can tell you do not give yourself enough credit mate, you have built a small YouTube channel that is sitting at nearly 5.5k subs, that takes alot of time and effort. Keep up uploading and exploring different avenues and you never know what will happen.

Being unhappy now is not a failed life. It's just being unhappy now. Keep going and things might get better. Your problem is not failure but the definitions you choose to assign importance to.

Just got finished watching both these videos and its uncanny the amount of similarities Im noticing. I'm 34, living and home with Mum (Dad just passed away in August) and failure (i feel) has been the overarching theme of my life. Except, it seems that misfortune has been the catalyst for your failures. It must be maddening to try and try just to be fucked over time and time by circumstances out of your control (problematic shoulder, covid stasis, cast out of college for no reason). My failure is monolithic in that I have failed, and continue to fail, to even attempt being anything else. Half of my adult life I have spent in various menial/unskilled labour positions, the other half on government benefits. About four months ago I wrapped up a four year stint on the dole when I got a job as a cleaner.

Everything goes up in price but not the salaries.

To give some motivation. Im 32, never been in a relationship, dont have any friends, have a shitty job im not suited for that destroyed me physically and i cant even get anything productive going and im still happy. People just overcomplicate stuff. As long as you want to improve its fine. Just be consistent and patient. Not everyone can become a important or sucessfull person. But from personally experience if you fail over and over, you have to force yourself to take a step back with youre expectations and demands for yourself, or youre mental health can deteriorate quickly. And that comes from someone who thought he was immun to negative thoughts. I lost nearly all of my athletic capabilities basically over night due to an illness and to make things worse i didnt even realise how bad my illness was. I demanded things from myself that just werent possible and in hinsight its suprising how fast you can develop negative thoughts this way. So well be carefull thinking of yourself as a failure and trying to force results with pressure. As i said as long as you want to improve you have already won in my opinion.

Maybe you need to wait 10 years to say you've failed at life, 35 is still young, look to the future which you have in your hands and not the past which you cannot change.... reminiscing about what you've not done in the past will get you down for sure.

to me, you have done this beautifully. you have a great voice. never stop.

Art must be free for everyone to see and sharing. sad is when we do art for a living and it doesn´t pay much. but saddest is when we quit doing art because we cant live with it. this is an harder burden that we must to clean our mind and hearts in order to never quit on art. do whatever you must to do to earn money to survive but never never never quit on doing art. Art is the expression of the creator. the ultimate expression of the soul.

Hey Adam, I'm probably at the lowest point of my life mentally. No job, I dropped out of college because I didn't like what I was studying. I actually have no idea what to do. I guess somehow we just have to keep being around and keep experiencing. I just want to thank you for speaking bravely about the feelings and the journey.

art or creativity is what is your motivation I think and good to hear it - I can relate to the failure thing, but I would take it with a pinch of salt as it is only part of a narrow-lens mindset binary failure-success driven model of humanity which is severely limited and crushing to the creative and individual spirit - the fact is, people can have all the things you talk about - family friends relationship job - but they can still be miserable and neglect the things they have. You have a bravery in expressing the shit stuff you've gone through and I think this is just as much a success as all the other stuff, keep on boy!

Bro I'm in the same boat, I can relate. we've got to keep doing our best, and loving ourselves, growing/developing and enjoying life man, because it is what it is, and it's absurd anyway right? Thanks for sharing brother.

Thanks for sharing Adam.

Great video Adam. It's okay to not know your path. Just take the next small step as you are doing.