ASPERGERS AND FRIENDSHIP - Autism Making Friends | The Aspie World

I found out a few weeks that I have Asperger. Everything made sense. It is so hard to keep friends. Sometimes I can be too quiet, or talk nonstop about things I like, not knowing if I'm bothering. I can also be too honest and people are accustomed to social lies.

My mom always says people love to talk about themselves, so I've always tried to ask questions, even if they're awkward, but every so often someone acts like I'm a spy or something, digging for information

I have this habit of being sincere and asking questions that go straight to a person's inner struggles, like I zoom past casual and go straight to therapist mode. partly bc i dont know how to do small talk or what you "should" do when a person mentions personal stuff. kind of partly a codependent thing where i like to help people, to make myself know for sure they appreciate me, dont know other ways to tell them i care or show friendship :/

Keeping conversation for me is very draining because I’m trying to make sure I’m keeping appropriate eye contact, body language, facial expression, tone. 🙄

Can't connect with people I have this "problem" with connecting with people and it is by far the most frustrating element in my ASD I am normally very quiet, and when I do speak what I say is boring, and I speak with absolutely no emotion or enthusiasum . It's not that I am really afraid to say whats on my mind... I just have nothing to say. Or I’m not sure what to say. The biggest part of this is when I talk to people (strangers, co-workers, etc..) EVERY conversation is awkward. and I think this is also why i struggle with relationships and friendships . Just not having that natural ability to know what to talk about. So I end up talking about what I’m good at talking about (biology, animals, video games etc) and I think that just puts people off of being my friend or when they do become my friend I feel like I can’t fully connect with them that I’m not on the same wavelength as anyone.Im an alien in my own species which makes me depressed at times.

I have some other advices or suggestions: 1) in order to find new friends, try taking a class of something you love. You can meet new people who likes what you like in a controlled environment where you can decide your times to get closer. Also chances are there that you will meet people more similar to you. So if you are into Art, comics, walking, cooking, books, technology, photography or whatever, just look for a class nearby and join. At the worse you will learn something new. 2) don't overdo. If you find somebody you like, don't overwhelm them. Building relationships needs time. Just limit yourself to contact them few times at the beginning and see how they react. If they contact you back too maybe you can increase. if they don't, stop. 3) don't get upset if somebody you like is not giving you attention. You can't be liked by anyone and, moreover, it is very probably is not because of you. Maybe they are going through a phase in their life where they aren't looking for new friends or they are looking for a specific kind of friends (for example only acquaintance or bar friends). Don't get upset, it's not because of you. You 2 just didn't click in that moment.

I have Aspergers and I am really paranoid about making friends. Whenever I care about a friendship, I usually try to keep constant communication with him/her (especially a her). But I hate the fact that the friend won't try to do the same while treasuring the friendship between us.

Austria not Australia :)

Awesome video. I've always had a hard time making friends, but an even harder time keeping friends. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 19, but I didn't even start telling people until recently (20 years later).

How do you keep friends when you genuinely would rather be alone? Maybe I need to try to find friends with similar interests, most people just like videos games and tv shows or cars and make up

getting information second hand and creeping people out by knowing it! I never realized I was doing that until now!!!

I have an AWFUL time making friends. I’m really bad at it. Whenever I do find the right person though, I can feel it. Usually this gut feeling is right. My best friend can soothe me and comfort me when I’m anxious. We maintain contact whenever we can. She is the only person I don’t feel uncomfortable with while being touched or hugged. She helps me get through stuff.

I hate having to talk to people, I'll do anything I can to avoid it. But if I do have to then sometimes I can either talk too much if it's people I know or just completely bypass the small talk or brutally cut straight to the point which some people find weird or very rude

if you mean friends as in trust in than I only have my doggy. all my other friends dont understand me. but dogs are better anyway 😀😀

I struggle to make friends. I don't have much conversation, I could always talk about my interests but nobody wants to listen because they aren't interested in the same things.

This may be just me, but I get very uncomfortable when someone, who I have only had one or two instances of communication, starts calling us friends. What's worse is when they ask if their my friend: I'm stuck in an ineffable bad situation; either I say no, and they blow it far out of proportion and make me feel more uncomfortable, or I lie and say yes, causing them to think they can do "friend stuff" with me.

I was never the popular kid in school, but life isn't a popularity contest. I was bullied in school and I didn't have a lot of friends. My two closest friends, who both are autistic, I met after high school. One of them I met on YouTube, and the other I met at my college. The first friend and I share the same favorite video game character, and I had saved the second friend from harming himself. My friends are there for me, and I am there for them. There are many acquaintances in life, but very few true friends.

I really struggle with this despite trying really hard. I think I mask quite well and I can often manage to fit in with people somewhat but almost never get invited to anything and usually get rejected when I try and initiate some sort of face to face contact even if the people are online and have seen my msgs. I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong, at what point I'm supposed to give up and how often to contact people. Woke up in a really positive mood and was excited about it being beach weather. Everyone I msged ignored me and the Facebook post I put up hours ago has got nothing. What do NT people want me to do so I come across as someone they want around? I feel so much embarrassment, shame and sadness any time I put myself out there really :/

It is so difficult to maintain friendships. Especially when there comes a point where they just don't initiate anything with me for months so I wait for a while to see if they'll say anything; wonder even slightly about me. They never do though. And yet, that's still the only reaction I have to a friendship weakening even though I know that fails.

So, I just started dating a really sweet guy who has Asperger's syndrome, and we have a really big crush on each other. I'm familiar with mental diseases and non neurotypical people, because I suffer from depression and anxiety and have found support on this community and also think that by educating myself I can make the world a better place for our community. And I just found your channel and really love it because it has helped me have a bigger understanding of this. Keep up with the good content.