How to Manage Compassion Fatigue in Caregiving | Patricia Smith | TEDxSanJuanIsland

I've been a caregiver for about 2 years, and I really needed to hear this. For quite some time, I've been puzzled and upset at my obvious change of character: I was once sweet, kind, loving, and always willing to help. I feel like I've become angry, bitter, exhausted and unenthusiastic. I've also struggled with overeating and weight issues; this whole time I thought these were signs of my own mental and emotional weakness, but I now recognize they're a byproduct of working in an extremely demanding profession and not taking care of myself correctly. To all other caregivers: thank you for all the hard work you do. Please don't fail to recognize these symptoms or write them off; get help so you can enjoy your quality of life. You deserve it.

Caregivers walk a tightrope with empathy on the left and apathy on the right. Some of us must maintain that delicate balance for years at a time. Too far left leaves us sick and exhausted. Too far right leaves us completely ineffective and defensive. It is truly part of the art of caregiving.

I'm a caregiver to my mom and I don't want to be. I don't want to find balance or strength or be grateful, I just want to stop period. It is too much for me and I don't even want to do it but there is nowhere else for her to go. I am pushing myself to do something I hate and I don't see a way out.

Thank you so much for giving me a name for what I am going through. I've been a caregiver for 29 years. I am so burnt out and wore out . Yet I must get up everyday and do it again.

I am a certified nursing assistant I care for people every day sometimes I go home and just cry cause I don’t feel like I have done enough I feel selfish every time I take time for myself cause I keep thinking this time can be spent helping someone in need thanks for listening to my rant and thanks for the video

As a self-employed senior caregiver for 16 years, I have certainly experienced compassion fatigue. I am grateful there is a name for it. I understand it now. Thank you for sharing on this topic.

I’ve been a Caregiver for 2 1/2 years. Now I’m extremely depleted and isolated. Raising two kids on my own. I’m just now seeing this after six months of beating myself up of not knowing what’s wrong with me. Im feeling better after breaking up with a toxic relationship. Now meditating ten minutes a day;exercising;Applying for a new job;Listening to audiobooks. Feeling a bit better

I just wanted to repost this from a comment to another person's comment. I just quit 2 and half weeks ago from being my grandmother's caretaker of 4 years on shaky grounds. I am currently about to try to tie up loose ends with her soon with some help from my aunt and uncle. While other family members appreciate me for giving my grandmother assistance over the years and trying to maintain her sense of independent living, they realize it's time for us to move on and are ready to step in. Before I decided to do make the decision, about 4-5 months ago I decided to go to my local mental health clinic and seek therapy and mental health counseling. I am so glad I did bc I recently hit a low point and I highly recommend caregivers to seek help when your intuition tells you to seek help. If you're not ready yet, I highly recommend to keep listening to YouTube for caregiver resources. I started doing that in December 2018 and January 2019 and it's been very insightful. A great channel is Careblazers.

Thank you for this talk. As a woman who has survived many, many life traumas and is a RN working in long term care, this talk is something that many many need to hear.

Self-care and balance are definitely important for the caregiver.

I needed to hear this so badly. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. - A burnt out animal rescuer

Very often I've been a caregiver for my son with schizophrenia. I'm basically the only one in the family who has the patience to deal with this horrible illness. In the past, he was homeless for a long time, MIA, off of his meds, etc. but he's my son, and I do what I can to help him regardless of his situation. This illness has such a horrible stigma attached to it, and so many want to judge him including family---instead of showing empathy and compassion. I try to raise awareness so others know more of what all he's going through. After all, it could be one of their loved ones some day that get this. I've never heard of compassion fatigue, but it really hits home with my situation, and I totally agree with this because it can be so very draining to be a caregiver. So often, it's an uphill battle, but with this illness, it's also a very lonely one for both the person with the illness, but also the caregiver. There's also a high risk of suicide (1 in 10 will be successful). I pray for more awareness, compassion, understanding and for the stigma to go away.

This is incredible to me. It has aligned with a lot of things I've been seeing on the internet for the past couple/few years amongst those of my generation. We are so, so tired. Our dreams were ruined and yet we're still told to buck up and carry on and care on for others. But we can't. We've run used up our spoons. We've run out of honey in our jars. Our jars have cracked. Our spoons have vanished. So others amongst my generation having been passing around artworks that they drew telling us it's okay to say no. It's okay to step back. To refind our spoons. To get help to fix our jars. To tell others we can't right now. It's just incredible to see this shifting and I should've known that professionals have realized this too. I'm so glad to see lessons like this and to have it framed like this. It is truly helpful. :) Thank you!

Ms. Smith nails the condition of compassion fatigue. It defines exactly what we caregivers feel, but often can't identify what's wrong.

Ive been taking care of my mom for almost 3 years. I feel so much better hearing this video❤❤❤❤

Life is changed so much only in past 5 months dealing with my 82 yr old father. I don't know how you do this. My life feels over. 😔

I've been a caregiver for my juvenile diabetic mother since the age of 2 years old. I remember scraping Oreo cooking cream on my moms teeth and pouring Mountain Dew into a THREE LITER bottle cap. My biological father left us when I was 2 and I filled massive shoes until my step father came into my life at 4 years old. He took over the caregiver role and passed away unexpectedly when I was 24. Naturally I fell into a caregiver role again. I am now 30 years old and I am truly struggling. I have severe PTSD from listening to the awful seizure and there have been times she has been having a true medical emergency and I am in a full blown PTSD/panic attack and it has prevented me from being present how I should be. Because of that I carry massive guilt because I feel like I am not strong enough. I feel like I am breaking. I don't know where or how to find support. I feel alone and like no one understands how I am human too and I also need someone to love and care for me. Is this burn out? Or is this something more....?

What a difference this speech has made in my life! Much like the empty tea kettle, can’t pour a cup for anyone else if we’re empty!

I moved in with my Mom who is 87 2 years ago. Its awful I love her but I dont want to live with her. She is fairly independent but we clash all the time. I am an RN and work on a Psychiatric unit. Its all too much. I dont have anyone I can talk honestly about this. I am praying praying

15 years of solo caregiving for my mom who had a massive stroke. It's been really hard, tiring and brutally taxing. This talk has been really helpful to me, thank you!! Recognizing how burnt out I am and not feeling that this makes me weak. Though job😷