🤔Am I Transgender? How to figure out if your transgender.

Something that needs to be known: Being transgender does not mean transitioning. Quite a few detransitioners regret bottom surgery because they had felt pressured to go all the way through. You don't have to go all the way. Many trans people do not undergo bottom surgery because they have no genital dysphoria. But they still take hormones. Same goes for top surgery and even the way you express your gender. You don't have to pick all or nothing. You should only do the things that you really want. You should only take hormones if you feel body dysphoria. You should only have bottom surgery if you feel genital dysphoria. You can be transgender without dysphoria but the more important question is whether to transition.

I am a white straight male raised in a religious family. That is why questioning my gender came as such a surprise to me. I did for about... a year and a half. I almost did it, too. At least, I almost decided to go on hormones, and live life as a male in public, and a woman in private (or something) My now ex-wife was only half supportive. She wanted me to follow my true self, but every time I brought it up she kind of... you know. Wanted to pretend it didn't happen. Finally she issued an ultimatum, and for my family I decided to stay as a male. Theeeeen she dumped me. I don't know if dumping is the proper term for leaving a husband, but she did. She said it was unrelated, but I mean during the divorce proceedings, the fact that I have gender dysphoria was an argument to take my son away. In US court that should not even be a consideration, but you know - conservatives. The dust finally settled and I was able to take a good look at myself, and I realized that I was happy as a man, as long as I could express myself the way I wanted to, and not have to worry about masculine gender roles or expectations. And I have learned to express myself through other means. There are still things that I do still long for of course, but I don't feel crippled by them. The point is, my journey is mine, and mine alone. And - it is not even over yet. If I wake up one day and decide to make a change, I will. I also feel like everyone should question their own role in life as well, and make a decision, not based on societal expectations, but on what you want. Because now, even though I have decided to remain a man, I have been taught more love, compassion, and shown that I can truly express myself however I want. Anyway, you are my favorite trans youtuber - because you focus more on being your authentic self more than anything, and I like that. Thank you for all that you do.

5:55 is the absolute best piece of advice. It took me a long time to realize the difference between what actually feels right for ME and what feels right for society.

My problem is the "rightness" flip-flops. Some days I absolutely MUST be a woman. "Must must MUST! This is me! I want to live!". Whereas other days it feels burdensome and excessive and I don't care about gender at all, or am content to stick with the simple, familiar default. At least for a while. Or when occupied with one of the 99% things we do in life which don't require having a gender: Mowing the yard, doing the dishes, vacuuming the floor, ironing the laundry, cooking the meals, etc. It is difficult to assess what feels right when every stake we claim is so diametrically opposed in the zero-sum game of the gender binary. What's right can also feel equally wrong, depending upon the circumstances. :/ Do you ever find yourself wanting to switch into guy-mode when in a threatening environment? Maybe lower the voice an octave? Take a more defensive standing posture? It's awfully hard to reconcile those ancestral defense mechanisms whenever they kick in... and the triggers are everywhere.

I’m 70 years old, been this way my whole life and is ok. However, no matter where you are on your trans path every day is new and different. Stay safe and enjoy. Peace, Charlene

I know since my youth. I move to full time at 54, but I always expressed my feminity in some way. Hormones came months later.

I'm 29 and I always knew how I felt from a young age but I didn't have the vocabulary for it growing up in the rural deep south. At age 12 I found out that the word "transgender" existed and immediately identified with it. I thought it meant I was a freak and my teenage years were spent riddled with dysphoria, internalized transphobia, and suicidal ideation. I eventually learned that I wasn't an abhorrent sexual deviant that it's perfectly normal to be transgender. I became proud of who I am and now I'm a decade into transition and I haven't attempted suicide once since accepting myself as a woman. ❤

Thank you for approaching this subject from a more spiritual perspective. I'm a 59 year old biolgical male I just started taking testosterone blockers and estrogen three months ago. I started HRT for my mental health not to transition. I have had low level depression for my whole life. So far the improvements in my mental health have been amazing. I still don't know if I'm transgender or non binary. I only know that I can't go back to feeling the way I did so I guess we'll just have to see were this journey takes me.

I heard of transgender ocd for the first time the other day and it just threw me for a loop. Sounds a lot like i dealt with to some extent with all the research i did and nights staying up worrying if i wasn't. I know I'm trans and i feel comfortable identifying as such, but there's still all this confusion and doubt. Overall when i try things an think about being transmasculine it feels good.

I always think the best thing is to just go as slowly as you can. The journey is the best part. PS - Ashley, you're good.

Hiii Ashley! I’m pretty early in my transition. I’m doing what feels right to me, I’m 22 and I’m not rushing. I feel like there is pressure to transition as early as possible but you need to trust yourself first. I’m learning to trust the process and to keep feeling good as a woman

hi ashley ...i have to strugling with my gender for i guess about an year and i actually think i m a trans ... i even tried my sisters dress when there was no one around at my home and it felt great ...it made me happy ...i have been thinking about experimenting different stuff but i cant do as i live with my family and i cant come out ...it really sucks ... and the thought of me being a girl makes me sad as i look at my current situation

I cried when you said pretending to be masculine, I've been trying to play the roll of masculine my entire life , feeling like something is wrong with me because I'm attracted to women but I feel like one myself, it's sad that at my age I'm only starting my transition ❤🎉 I thank you for your courage to help people like myself who struggle with pretending to be someone your not for a bunch of people who could care less anyway . Thank you again , I love your videos babes XOXO ❤❤ P.S. Stay tuned for my major transformation over the next 2 years hope to have your support and the support of our community .

After 12 years, transition was the best thing I ever did for myself.

I really really love your energy in this video. I'm just about 8 months on hormones (estrogen and progesterone and spironolactone) and Its been awesome discovering your channel in the past year or so when I was really weighing some heavy decisions and struggling everyday constantly, reaching that tipping point of 'yeah, I've pretty much known this was the path I need to take since like mid high school, so why haven't I jumped in yet?' Well, at 29 years old now I feel like I have my whole life and a good amount of youth left to explore myself fully and push myself and my femininity. Starting transitioning has saved my life. There was a video you did where you mentioned your experience at a festival and the molly didn't pop until after and you were cuddling with yr partner and the question came up, "well, how did that make you feel?" in regards to being addressed as she/her and as a person who has experienced the powerful therapeutic effects of the very occasional molly experience that video made me fall in love with your channel and I still watch it from time to time and get SUPER emotional every time I re-watch it. Thank you, Ashley. P.s. I use your videos to help me explain things to my parents/fam, who are generally very progressive and accepting, deal with and understand my trans-ness. You rock.

Hiiiiiii! I hope you're having a great day! I was watching another video and the woman said "set your GPS to joy" - I love this! That's what I'm trying to do. Excited to start taking action now! Thanks a lot for this video; as all of them!

Good to see you again, Ms. Adamson. :)

Of the countless videos, quizzes, articles, and documents I’ve read on this topic, this feels like the single best answer/video I’ve come across lol

Hey! 2months in to my transition, I'm a bit of a late bloomer at 35. Ive always known, but I engaged in avoidance and lots of self destructive behaviors. I'm so glad I'm taking this journey now, but I still deal with the regret and repercussions of not doing it sooner. Heavily leaning towards HRT, and definitely want top surgery, not so sure about bottom surgery. Still trying to figure myself out and how I want to interact with the world. Theres so much work to be done, I was just so depressed and toxic for so long that I developed unfavorable character flaws. Im doing what I can and working with a therapist to figure all this out. Its exhausting and emotionally draining. Anyways, thanks for the videos!

Hi I am at the beginning of my transition / still questioning and your videos have been a huge affirming resource for me. This is the kind of literature we need <3