Recovering from Complex PTSD with Elizabeth Ferreira | Being Well Podcast

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Mind blown, a lot of my life explained with this statement…”you never attune to the person that’s having the best time in the room. You attune to the person that’s having the shittiest time in the room. Because that’s how your little nervous system developing had to. You had to attune to the parent that was having the worst day. So you could monitor it and fix it.” 😮

I suffered trauma 20 years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Spent my whole life fighting cptsd. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

I love this honest, intimate, vulnerable conversation. I'm 67 years old and am the first person in a family of six generations of incest, wife abuse, child abuse and alcoholism to stand up, speak out and begin the liberating work of therapy. My children are the first in the lineage of inter-generationational healing. They are awesome people despite their dysfunctional parents. Alas, I can see the wounds they carry from my own woundedness. But, thankfully, they are much healthier individuals than myself or my husband. Now, my grandson is the 2nd generation in a new legacy of health, wholeness and freedom. I benefitted immensely from this conversation and have shared it with five people already, including my son and daughter.

I hate how bullying in school isnt seen as harmful in the long run. I was bullied very horribly from 4th to 7th grade to the point that I have repressed a lot of those memories and I now dissociate from reality whenever anything remotely stressful happens. Ive always hated telling people I was bullied cause the word almost makes it seem childish. Edit: thank you for the replies, they really mean a lot ❤️ I wish all of you the best

I love the bit Elizabeth said about the power of just being sweet and soft and warm. It's so true! I think people can get way too focused on therapeutic strategy, when just being attuned with someone with soft warm loving energy is the gold dust.

Image your husband or bf listening to you like this for an hour. Can’t be more sweetness.

I really appreciate how she talks about having been in denial about the level of trauma based on comparison with her parents blatantly abusive childhood trauma. I can so relate to that! My struggles were always minimized and I was told I had a perfectly normal happy healthy childhood when that is just so false. But I believe it sometimes because of the lifelong gaslighting

She described my CPTSD so well, I’ve never heard someone tell my story the way she has. Wow . I’m floored. I’ve had years and years of working on healing from my traumas and have never heard it so well put. Thank you 🙏🏼 wonderful conversation. I think you two are an amazing set of humans.

Please have Elisabeth back again, I so relate to her experiences. Elisabeth is articulate and intelligent. Bravo you two are amazing.

"Managing your parents' emotions..." Wow. That's a substantial one because it becomes almost a constant, particularly if you're chronically managing and interpreting the emotions of both parents simultaneously.

Friends devalue me and I don't think it's intentional. When I tell them I suffer with Complex PTSD. They tell me no you don't you think you do because you've been told that. I try to ignore this, but it hurts when friends don't or can't understand what I have been through

I’m in my 60s and for most of my life I’ve realised something wasn’t right, that I was emotionally deeply fucked up. I’ve recently been listening to podcasts about CPTSD and slowly coming to the realisation that, yes, this is it. Your podcast has nailed it. Don’t know what I can do about it but thank you. I’m so happy that you have each other. I wish you both a long and rewarding life ❤️

I had a conversation with my Aunt recently, while discussing why I've chosen not to have kids (I'm mid-30s), and I cited generational trauma (grandparents survived the holocaust) as a big reason- pointing out to her that yes, she was able to raise her kids without hunger, having clean clothes, no physical abuse etc. But emotionally... her daughter had anorexia and her son was an addict as teens. My mom (her sister) married a man who did not "spare the rod", so it is really no surprise my brother lived homeless and on drugs at 16, while I dealt by becoming a huge empathic doormat people pleaser to avoid conflict at all costs, and developed a bfrb (common comorbidity of cptsd). I remember learning to cry without making any noise as a kid so that my dad wouldn't continue to hit me. I never want to be a parent.

You guys are adorable together. This is the first time I've met Elizabeth and I must say she reminds me so much of myself as also a "sweet" and tender HSP with CPTSD. Trying to explain myself when I "can't be around another nervous system" right now or feeling "sheer terror" when trying to tell others what I feel or need was summarized perfectly by her. I also "managed up" and was head parent to my own parents and siblings. Thank you both for this excellent session. It made me feel seen and validated…great job guys!

Getting to a point where you can create new, healthier, emotional regulatory habits with cptsd is exactly what Elizabeth said. It is grieving for the loss of your childhood innocence, expressing your anger about having to be your parent's parent (or any real or perceived wrongdoing), and trying to unmask your true self.

My whole childhood trauma story is the biggest contributor to my entire life. Having to protect my mother from my abusive step-father, I learnt to read them as a child, I knew by their interactions with each other if there was going to be arguments and violence. I would stay awake and my instincts were always right. The minute I heard it escalate to a slap I would run into their room and stand in front of my mother so he wouldn't hit her again. She didn't protect me or my siblings from his violence and she abused us too. I still don't understand so much about why I protected her yet she failed to protect her children. So confusing always craving her love and acceptance but treated with contempt and jealous like behaviour, belittling me, unable to express love and to realise of recent times her inability to even say sorry for anything she did, including abandoning her kids to run off with the abusive bloke who became our stepfather. I have tried all my life to be loved by her and I don't think she's capable of loving me and we were not wanted. At 62yrs of age I am still highly damaged from all of it along with my messed up adulthood and finally only 5yrs ago to be diagnosed with so many conditions including CPTSD. I have had to try and live with all the crap before diagnoses and after. I could so relate to all of this, but I still feel so misunderstood and the sadness of so much of my life wasted because of my mental health illnesses caused by people who failed to protect me and damaged me severely including the education institutions that also abused me. Thankyou for talking about this so openly I could so relate to so much. Back to therapy again but I'm so tired of still dealing with all the crap.

I’m thankful for what you are both doing. I am married now to a wonderful man. We have been together almost seven years. His willingness to hold space for me, accept me and love me for who I am has been so healing!

Cried pretty much all the way through. This is basically me and my childhood, just without the religion. Thank you.

It is really something how similar our experiences can be. Thank you both. "A piece of you that is always trapped as a child when you are an adult." Yes. Yes. Yes.