The Science Of Catching Up In Life

Catching up may be a science but the way I fall behind is an art

I’m 26 and feel this so hard. Never had a girlfriend, never had a “real” adult job, and I’m going to grad school now because my bachelors degree got me absolutely nothing valuable. Most of my male cousins and friends around my age are already married and/or have kids, and often I feel like an overgrown teen boy. Yet somehow, I’m optimistic for the first time in my life. I’ve finally accepted that I spent my youth being a perpetual screwup because I was too scared to face reality. Self sabotaging is an addiction that I am still training myself to overcome.

I hope this will encourage someone. I began studying software development when I was 35, a stay-at-home mom lacking any formal technical education. I landed my first job as a junior dev at the age of 36. I am 44 now, and a senior dev. I wouldn't be where I am now if at 35 I had succumbed to the fear that I was too old or too far behind to even try.

36 this year and just started my PhD. I won't really start my career for another 2-3 years, but I'm finally pursuing a life that I love. Hang in there guys, it's worth finding your passion and going after it.

Based on his wiki Dr. K battled video game addiction during his undergrad from 2000-2003, then overcame it in India. He later finished his undergrad in 2007. At 28, he started his medical degree in 2010, which he completed by 32-33 in 2014, marking a remarkable comeback and success story. Even mentors can be “behind in life.”

I needed to hear this today. I am 40 with no career (just an alright job) no wife, no kids, nothing really so to speak. I was a heroin addict from the ages of 15-31. The next 5 or 6 years were spent cleaning up the mess of a life I created through my addiction. I keep going in this loop of no one wanting to be with me due to the things I do not have or have not accomplished, being depressed because I am lonely, then accomplishing even less. I am so far behind my peer group that its not even funny. I have given myself a 3-year deadline to improve my situation and I am trying to do all the things suggested in this video. I can only pray that it will work for me too... Please do not use drugs. Even if you manage to not overdose or go to prison the real pain starts when you get clean and see how much of your life that you wasted.

43, female. I've battled migraine and insomnia since 18. Migraines suddenly stopped in 2020. June according to last entry in my diary. My sleeping problems have decreased significantly. I'm so far behind my friends and younger siblings: no career, no kids, no partner, few friends, live in a shady neighborhood, etc etc. But I'm not worried about not reaching any specific goals. For me it's the journey itself I look forward to. I want to experience life for the first time since childhood as a healthy and fully present being. ❤ from Sweden

Im currently 22 going on 23 in August, and this really caught my eye. I've been in a downward spiral of feeling like i didn't belong in this world. Going through life living with an abusive mother since my stepdad died when i was 9 until she passed away when i was 18. I felt free, but i had no direction. Throughout the years of my life, i didn't do well in school, i suffer from ADHD, i dropped out of college, and I never really had a positive male role model. Im right now trying to find a better direction in life that being going back to college or serving in the military, anything to find purpose. I hope I finally fulfill my goals

I am turning 30 soon. No major career, no degree or major certifications, no house or apartment, no girlfriend, wife or kids, BUT after 10 LONG years of struggling I finally learned to accept reality and break out of depression. Now is just to focus on making money so I can get those things.

Im 27 years old right now, spent about 6-7 years of my twenties high on herion and methamphetamine, but here i am clean 1 year in. I missed so much time and "catching up" is something im trying to fast track right now. Its frustrating and disappointing how much time i waisted. No savings no home to call my own no friends pretty much no life.. I hope everyone the very best in getting along in life. Because i know how it feels to be left behind

I was fighting back tears when he mentioned shame. This has been my last decade, being emotionally driven and focused and not actually pursuing what made me get into college in the first place. 31 now, I'm going to start becoming a doctor again. I have to make the steps and believe in myself along the way. I hope you all do the same.

I'm 35, I spent most of my 20s as an unemployed/under-employed, reclusive shut-in, spent 5 years after that in a shithole factory making windows but I started to make some real change when I finally took the plunge on doing martial arts. From that I built a great social network and I began to develop an interest for human behaviour and a passion for mental health so I kicked around the idea of studying psychology at Uni. I then found out I had been carrying an injury for 2 years, had a surgery for it and remained out of the game for a whole year. Decided late last year as I was recovering from the surgery that I'd stop breaking myself down and rotting in a shithole for a pittance and take a chance to make something of myself by getting into Uni, so I did my STAT (an aptitude test to improve my selection rank) at the end of last year, performed well and got accepted at the start of this year. Now I just got through my first semester of my psych undergrad with 4 distinctions, a high distinction, and a lot of lessons learned. I just started really getting my health back on track with regular trips to the gym, daily walks, evening yoga and quitting drinking. I have a job as a commercial cleaner to pay my way, good hourly rate, I mostly work alone which suits my introverted self, and I'm in discussion to get more hours at the moment. I'm also still going strong with a DnD group and games days some of my martial arts friends formed, I'm so glad I met these people, they have been the best support network I've ever had in my life. There was a lot of discomfort, uncertainty, and insecurity I had to face, there have been a lot of challenges and doubts I've had to contend with, a lot of questions of whether I belong or if this is the right thing to do, but all in all I think I'm where I need to be and I'm slowly but surely picking up the pieces and I'm optimistic it'll all fall into place soon enough.

Points for me; 1. It's possible, even in biology, to catch up. It's the last reps which matter. 2. Be careful of your environment, who you hang around, your physical environment. 3.Your emotions are controlling you. Acknowledge your emotions, notice the shame behind your inaction. Shame sabotages you, makes you believe you're destined to fail. 4. Who you are is determined by your actions- play close attention to "I" statements- how you view your own identity. Don't let ego based statements control who you become. End statement: It's 100% possible to catch up. It's up to you to realize the tricks your mind plays on you. Get help. Change your environment. Your mind is trying to convince you against your better judgement, to protect you from pain, but this cycle will leave you stuck.

I'm 33 and going back to school because I want to do something that I like and that's computing. I wasted 15 years of my life working at my dads restaurant like a slave so he could retire. That period was the most painful for me because of how toxic that environment was, Gordon Ramsay on Hells Kitchen seemed tame to what my dad was like. I had stuff thrown at me and bullied by him and my coworkers. But I still did not leave. I hope I can become a programmer and put my past behind me. I'm rooting for everybody here in the comments section. It's not too late for us and we will smash all of our goals. We can do this ❤

I’m 28, no job no credit score, no rental history spent 15 years on psych drugs in zombie mode until lockdown when my dr closed his practice and I went cold Turkey on benzodiazepines and antipsychotics. I finally got my driver’s license at 26 and am making slow progress escaping a bad abuse situation. These videos are really helping. Thanks.

What I love about this is the truthful and genuine positive energy and simplicity and enthusiasm. I never got that from Tony Robbins. He always seemed exploitative and cleverly putting up a fake image some people see through. Same with that Huberman guy and eventually they always come out surface as phonies, either drug addicts or sex addicts with addiction to power too. This on the other hand, is real advice. Simple. Don't overthink it.

20:33 “When you start to believe something about yourself, it starts to shape what you choose to do or not do… the beliefs you have about yourself start to shape your actions and determine your future — and what always happens with the beliefs you have about yourself is that they become self-fulfilling prophecies.” Setting a reminder for myself here.

Just ran into an old high school friend from ten years ago. I'm 28, one year older than him, but he has a great career and a new family. Meanwhile, I just graduated college after 6.5 years on active duty, no real career, no wife, no kids, and honestly still no direction despite having a newly acquired degree... It's depressing as hell sometimes to think of how "behind" I am, but it's great to have Dr. K's perspective. The timing of this vid was incredible.

I'm 28 and I started catching up in life recently. A lot of what I've changed has come from always being a "Yes Man" to any sort of social event and whenever the voice in my head tells me to wait to do something I question it, ask it "why wait?", and then do what isn't comfortable, but needs to be done. The last year and especially the last 3-4 months have been going great for me and I don't plan on stopping.

Something that has helped me change my thinking is ‘challenging my ego’. What I do, is when my brain says I’m lazy or I can’t do something, I ask myself “why?” Then the ego will respond and I ask “why?” Again and I keep doing this process until I get to the root. Usually, these thoughts are imprinted onto us by other people, places, and things (it’s environmental). It’s a good start to rebuild your mental.