Iraq War Veterans, 20 Years Later: ‘I Don’t Know How to Explain the War to Myself’ | Op-Docs

The New York Times
The New York Times
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Published 2023-03-20
Months after the United States invaded Iraq in 2003, I began filming the U.S. Army’s 2nd Battalion, 3rd Field Artillery Regiment (known as the Gunners) in Baghdad. The unit was housed in a bombed-out palace on the banks of the Tigris that they named Gunner Palace.

Rather than just making a movie about the men, I suggested that we make a film together — an offer that the soldiers quickly embraced. They told the story of the war as only they could: They played guitar, spat out rhymes and played to the camera. But behind all their bravado and posturing, they were just kids who desperately wanted the world to understand the war through their eyes.

In the last two months of 2003, the Gunners lost three men to I.E.D. attacks. They scrambled to create makeshift armor for their soft-skinned vehicles using scrap metal. When asked by a soldier about the lack of armor in 2004, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld famously said, “You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.”

They were the army we had. They fought an enemy they couldn’t always see in a land they didn’t understand for reasons that were never entirely clear. In the midst of the pandemic, I visited the men and spoke with them about how they make sense of their role in a war that has yet to be fully reckoned with. In "The Army We Had," the veterans grapple with a past that still reverberates powerfully through their lives.

- Text by Michael Tucker
- Film by Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker

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All Comments (21)
  • @TenTonNuke
    I don't know one veteran, myself included, who feels like they made a difference. We had no mission apart from "wait until someone fires at you and then fire back." We didn't bring freedom and democracy; we tore the country apart and left it in chaos and ruin. And we treated innocent people like they were terrorists. When people call me a hero and thank me for my service, I flinch. I feel like I should be punished for what I've done, not praised.
  • @Zlinky111
    "I don't feel like we are defending our country any more. We just go where they tell us". Pretty much summed it up.
  • @johnnyparatrooper1326
    I lost about 20 friends to suicide, drugs, and late night car accidents after my service. Hurts…
  • @terinash609
    I am an army veteran. My son was a Cavalry Scout. He refused to go to Iraq because he didn’t believe in the war there. He told them he would go fight in Afghanistan. He had a court martial, went to military prison for a short time, received an bad conduct discharge and lost all veterans benefits. His best Army buddy wasn’t going to deploy to Iraq either. He gave in and went. He was blown up by an IED. He was burned, broke his back, pelvis, he has a traumatic brain injury. He now is disabled for life and has horrific PTSD. That unit lost several soldier and others were injured. Then my son fell apart from survivor guilt. He had a breakdown. He will never be the same. He was 21. He is almost 40 now. His life is ruined. My daughter and son in law served as MPs. They had multiple deployments in Afghanistan. They have PTSD and other service related problems. They were very disillusioned by the time their last enlistment was up and got out. I am a 100% disabled veteran. My health was ruined by the non FDA approved vaccines I received during the first Gulf war. I have been ill, in pain and have memory and cognitive issues. I have been this way for 33 years. Over half my life I have been disabled. Our country needs to stop sending our troops off to needless wars. Now Biden and Blinken are backing Israel In their Genocide and war crimes. They are playing directly into Netanyahu’s hand to fight WWIII with not only more American funding and weapons but American troops. If they don’t destroy the entire world we will have more dead or mentally and physically disabled veteran and not much will change in the Middle East !
  • @mustafamohammed8758
    "The wars will end and the leaders will shake hands, and that old woman will remain waiting for her martyred son, and that girl will wait for her beloved husband, and the children will wait for their heroic father, I do not know who sold the homeland but I know who paid the price" - Mahmoud Darwish
  • @CyborgZeta
    The guy who said he felt the need to sign up after 9/11 was spot on. That was precisely the mood a lot of people felt in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. And the Bush Administration took full advantage of it.
  • @wasclit11
    73 disabled Vietnam vet 20th SOS - It never goes away but you learn to deal with it. We got a lot of groups out there to help any veteran. I am also a recovering addict with 35 years clean - I was trying to self-medicate -- didn't work. They did you dirty but if you look at our history after every war the vets were discarded. Welcome Home.
  • @AtalixZero
    I'm 45. I was 24 when I deployed. Based on the uniforms, Humvees and ops, I was in Iraq around the same time. No documentary has captured so succinctly and honestly the experience over there. Each one of us has a very unique story. But every story shares many key elements.
  • @gabe_s_videos
    Credit to the people who made this film, it was very tasteful. No dramatic music, no sensationalist editing, just the stories of people, what they did, why they did it and what they think of it now.
  • @batesBeckham
    After I got out, I became so alienated from society that I forgot there were thousands of "me" out there. A whole generation of teenagers who went through the same experiences as I did... Im glad to have stumbled upon this video to see some of them and remember. Time really shows no mercy, it feels like 9 years ago instead of 20
  • @jamieshows1564
    Remember when the average American supported this and called anyone that opposed anti-American? I sure do.
  • @baneenbzz4208
    As an Iraqi who lived through this and grew up in it, i could barely finish this video. It was horrible and forever damaging to all Iraqis who had to go through this.
  • @jamesreed6152
    It’s crazy to see how we all look back and realize we got played.
  • @crystallangley5177
    My dear grandpa was a Sergeant in WW2. It wasn't until his last years when he told me what he went through. Keep telling your stories
  • @thecowboypreacher6568
    What the US government did to these eager and willing young men and the Iraqi people is tragic and criminal beyond comprehension. My heart goes out to them all.
  • @demo8175
    We need more documentaries like this to show how much humanity is lost in war.
  • @MrTastyM7
    That last bit got me. Made me tear up