The Secret to Coping with Executive Dysfunction (NEURODIVERGENT EDITION) | Healing Unscripted

One thing I learned about executive dysfunction is that there’s no need to beat yourself up for it because others will already do it for you, lol

My first thought when you asked, "What does ED feel like?" was F R U S T R A T I O N!!! I have been in an executive dysfunctional spiral for the past three days, and it's murrrrrder. I can't seem to focus on anything for long enough to make any headway- even the relaxing fun things. Can't start a new art project. Can't dig in and work on older projects. Can't get any housework done. Can't get any paperwork done. Can't even play GAMES. The second I commit even a little to any of these things, the other things start to tug at my thoughts, overwhelming me.

Okay but SELF-COMPASSION ACTUALLY HELPS YOU IMPROVE SO FAST!!!! I can attest to this!!!! I used to be so frustrated and beat myself up for my repeated failures, but when I started changing that thought pattern to “okay, today wasn’t the best day, how can I make this easier to do next time…” and looking at each failure as a clue to how to do better or how not to do x, I can improve SO MUCH FASTER because I’m not wasting time wallowing in self-pity and beating my head against a wall and wondering why the thing that works for everyone else doesn’t work for me

i immediately started crying when you said compassion. not that I was upset there wasn't some quick fix, it's that I hadn't been giving myself compassion and I just realized that

Laying in my bed, being ashamed of the dirty and messy room I'm in, having a long to-do list on top of that. Yes, I've done very hard things in the past and survived but I don't think I'll ever break this cycle... :/

This is me. I am caught in a paralyzed shame spiral.

When a couple of friends who know me very well and are ADHD diagnosed kindly suggested that I might be ND myself I dismissed the idea at first believing that I wouldn't be able to be so successful in my very high pressure job if that was true. But the more I learn about executive dysfunction the more I realise it's exactly WHY I'm good at my job, because everything is genuinely urgent and important. It's only when there is a lull that I struggle to get things done. It's still WILD to me that everyone's brains don't work this way 🤯

I have been bullied out of every job I've ever had and I have a hidden disability. This has led me to severe problem like commitment issues and other serious issues. If i had a disability advocate i would be able to sue and probably receive compensation.

🥺- Your making so much sense! Its frustrating being 25 year old woman with this brain! I m super sensitive - everything hurts me or everything is over whelming. But from this video I understand I am not alone. If I feel suicidal- it means so many other people must b feelin this way and they don't deserve nothing less than the best of compassion. Your voice and clarity in explaining the concepts are really helping me address myself. Thankyou so much! Xo

Since february, so 9 months, I am listening many many videos about ADHD. And that's one of the best tips ever. Because often, even by ADHD people themselves, the tips are "how to press you to do things, with organization +++", but it's exactly what I'm very bad at. So I don't understand how to treat a trouble with the exact thing impossible for this person. To tell me how to organize myself, is the same than explain someone with a broken leg how to run. Maybe in case of extreme emergency this broken leg person would have to run away. So, in case in emergency I can organize things, but definitely not in the every day life. Thank you !

I’ve only recently found out that I have ADHD (combined type), and I’m 43. It’s going to take a while to unlearn all the self-hate that I’ve cultivated over the years. But your video was very helpful, now I can also easier explain it to others. Although I’m trying to not giving a 💩 what they think lol

I describe it like this: my brain is a bag that gets stretched with input, and at a certain level of fullness, stuff starts to fall out. It might be a skill, task or bit of knowledge I have known for years, doesn't matter, it may still fall out of my bag if it becomes too full. Know what stretches the bag beyond its limits fastest? Stress, the impatience of others, and lack of sleep. I cannot perform tasks in front of people who make me nervous. Even things I can excel at when alone.

Secretary and CEO is a great analogy!

Hey just wanted to say as a neurodivergent person the way you talk and what you talk about is extremely helpful!

this describes me.. my mom used to call me lazy. my passion is to be a vet technician but it felt as though i couldn't go trough with it.. i did try to go to college but i quit after one semester. i couldnt bare the crowded place,impossible-to find parking, i am a jealous person and it was hard going since i always compared myself to others. its like ever since i was 19, i couldn't do things "normal" pple do. im 27 now and trying to be a vet assistant. ive never worked in my life simply bec of executive dysfunction and anxiety but no one understands. it sometimes sucks being different bec ive always felt misunderstood but you're right self -compassion is a key to help yourself.

I get what she is trying to say, but I take issue with her distinction between laziness and executive dysfunction. “If you want to be doing the thing”. Well, unfortunately in life there are a lot of things we have to do that we don’t want to do, but that we need to. Chores around the house, bills, getting out of bed even. I struggle with ED and my biggest hurdle is translating a desire to have something done, into having the willpower to take the actions to get there.

This vide does an excellent job explaining the problem. I feel like I understand my issue better than ever and I understand the need to be patient and compassionate with myself. I'm super grateful for that, but the thing is executive dysfunction and decision making paralysis is seriously impeding my ability to follow my dreams. The years are passing by and I'm wasting so much time. At this rate I feel like I'm going to have so many regrets as I get older.

I don't want to condemn myself to this nor I want to accept it, I want a better life for myself

Completely agreed. For me the real change started when I started to be warm with myself, and giggle at myself in a friendly way. That interaction started to move me forward.

Yes, I also found that. Compassion is the only thing that gives me some boost.