Towelie Plays "Funkytown" at the Secret Government Base - SOUTH PARK

Published 2020-11-10

Towelie plays "Funkytown" on the keypad at the secret government base instead of entering the entrance code.
"Towelie" S05

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#SouthPark #SouthParkS05

EXT. SKY - NIGHT
The moon is out in the star-filled sky. Suddenly, a large
helicopter flies into frame. It says TYNACORP on the side.
INT. HELICOPTER - NIGHT
The boys are all dressed in parachute garb, which they will
drop once they hit the ground. The corporate workers are
behind the boys, helping them put on their parachutes and
checking their gear.
Everyone has to talk loud over the sound of the chopper. In
all there are 12 people inside the chopper. The boys,

Towelie, the scientist, three corporate soldiers, two suits,
and the pilot. The whole scene is somewhat frantic and full
of action, but the boys just look bored.
SCIENTIST
In a moment we will be over the base.
This is the only way in. Any attempts
on ground would be easily spotted by the
guard posts!
KYLE
Okay.
The scientist wheels over to towelie, who is being fitted
with his gear.
SCIENTIST
I hate to send you back in there
Towelie... But only you have their
security system in your memory banks.
TOWELIE
It's alright. It's always good to bring
a towel!
SCIENTIST
Good luck boys, the fate of the world is
in your hands.
STAN
We're not doing it for the world, we're
doing it for our video game. God, are
you deaf?
CORPORATE SOLDIER
ALRIGHT, BOYS! WE'RE TWO MILES ABOVE
THE SECRET GOVERNMENT BASE! WHEN YOU
DROP FROM THE PLANE COVER AND ROLL!
PULL THE CORD AFTER 200 FEET GOT IT?!
STAN
Yeah.
CORPORATE SOLDIER
GO GO GO GO GO!!!
The boys drop one by one from the plane, looking unamused.
The boys fall from the plane. Stan is the first to pull his

parachute open and he goes springing up out of frame. The
rest of the boys and towelie pull their cords as well.
EXT. SKY - NIGHT
The four boys and Towelie drift serenely into frame in their
parachutes. They look bored out of their minds.
STAN
(Sighs)
KYLE
Dude, I figured it out.
STAN
What?
KYLE
If we can go in and get the gamesphere
in thirty minutes... We could still be
back at your house playing video games
by midnight.
STAN
So that'd be... what eight hours we
could play before school?
KYLE
Seven and a half.
Stan tries to hurry the parachute up by kicking his legs.
STAN
HURRY-UP-STUPID-PARACHUTE.
EXT. SECRET MILITARY BASE - NIGHT
In a wide shot, the boys and Towelie make their way to the
ground and immediately run with their parachutes and drop
them. The boys look like they've done this a thousand time,
and this sequence mimics many action films where we see navy
seals doing the same thing.
CARTMAN
Alright, I think we go over there.
EXT. DYNACORP - NIGHT
Out in the middle of nowhere, the boys are standing with
towelie at what looks like the entry way to area 54.
There is a huge fence, covered with razor wire. The door is
massive and secure looking. Next to the door is a shining,
silver keypad for entry that has numbers laid out like a
telephone.
Towelie stands in front of the keypad scratching his head.
TOWELIE
Let's see...
Towelie presses a few random numbers on the keypad. Doot.
Doot.
TOWELIE (CONT'D)
No...
STAN
Come on, towelie, the guy said he gave
you the security system in your memory
banks!
TOWELIE
Hey, it's been a long time.
CARTMAN
It was six minutes ago! You just have
no short term memory because you get
high all the time.
TOWELIE
Don't preach to me, fatso.
CARTMAN
I can preach all I want because YOU'RE
stupid!
TOWELIE
YOU'RE stupid!
CARTMAN
Yeah, but YOU'RE a towel!
TOWELIE
YOU'RE a towel!
(Stan)
Come on, just lemme get high. I know I
can remember it if I get high.
STAN
Oh God Dammit! Alright fine here's your
stupid lighter.
Towelie grabs the lighter and quickly lights up. The Popeye
theme music plays.
TOWELIE
Alright, just give me a second... Hold
on...
Towelie goes back to the key pad and slowly starts to press
numbers. Doot Doot doot doot - doot - doot doot doot doot
doot...
TOWELIE (CONT'D)
Wait a second...
Doot Doot doot doot - doot - doot doot doot doot doot...
TOWELIE (CONT'D)
That's it!
KYLE
That's it?
TOWELIE
Yeah! That's the melody to 'Funkytown'!
Towelie starts to dance and sing as he plays Funkytown on
the keypad.
TOWELIE (CONT'D)
(Singing)
Won't you take me down, to funky town?!
STAN
NO TOWELIE THE ENTRY CODE!!!
TOWELIE
For what?
STAN
God dammit, I guess we're gonna have to
climb the stupid fence!
The boys start climbing.

@southpark 3 years ago

Watch full episodes of South Park: cart.mn/episodes

@ericschnautz6603 3 years ago

Towelie is such a random concept and it fits perfectly into every episode he's been in.

@mrwu4u364 3 years ago

“That’s the melody to funky town!” Had me dying!🤣

@nathanrothchild5112 2 years ago

I like how Cartman got completely shut down after he got called a towel, by a towel.

@manofthehalfhour571 3 years ago

“I have no idea what’s going on right now”

@colinfrags5691 3 years ago

He is one of the most irrelevant characters but one of the most beloved.

@ComicalRealm 3 years ago

"That's it!" "That's it?" "Yeah that's the melody to Funky Town!" 😂

@ghostyfoot 3 years ago

"I hate to send you back in there Towlie, but only you have their security system in your memory banks" "ThAtS aLrIgHt, ItS aLwAyS gOoD tO bRiNg A tOwEl"

"for what?" best line in this moment