How To Tell When You're The "Fill-In" Guy (Don’t Let This Happen To You!)

If your absence doesn't bother them, then your presence never mattered in the first place

Ah yes, the infamous “I’ve been busy.” line. Usually people will say this to avoid you. People are never too busy for the people they want to make time for. Great video as always Courtney and hopefully you’ll cover the “I’ll let you know.” response in the future! 😁

words & actions do not match 0:28 she won't spend time with you 1:40 it's one sided 3:45 says she is "too busy" 4:39 she brags & talks about herself 24/7 6:08

Reality just kicked in and I just realized I’m in this exact situation with this girl that I’m seeing. Thanks for the info Courtney.

Yep. “too busy” = I don’t see you as high value enough to make time for you. Deep down she views and thinks she is better than you. And as we know, women for the most part want men who are better than them (in some way or another) Great video!

This is true. The “fill in” guy is there to boost her ego and self esteem to go after the guy she really wants. Knowledgeable vid!!

All true. I had this same dynamic with a girl for a long while, once I decided to move on and just not engage her anymore, she vanished. I wasn't mad or sad, just sorta astonished. Like, "wow, after all that time she really didn't care about me at all." It happens. Like Courtney said, devote your time to people who value you.

I usually say the “I’ve been busy” line when I get that infamous “Hey Stranger” text. My time is valuable and I give that time to those who I truly care about, I like to be alone majority of the time so when I say this I don’t want to sound narcissistic or anything. I used to be this guy, once I started to learn the signs and patterns, i bow out gracefully without struggle and drama and I move forward until that day that I get the “Hey Stranger” text. I am super selective about who I give my energy to. I had a girl pretty much show me her hand and these were the kind of cards that she was bringing to the table. It immediately changed my perception of her and I basically bowed out gracefully and I kept it short during our interactions. At the end of the day you’re a human being, not some play thing that gets picked up when a person is bored. You’re better than that, don’t let nobody take advantage of you and do not let anyone waste your time whatsoever. Don’t be rude to them, call them out on it and if they don’t take accountability because some men and women don’t nowadays just walk away with your dignity and value intact.

when I get the “i’m too busy” to hangout excuse after asking more than twice, just say “okay let me know when you have a day off” (everyone has at least one day off over a 2 week period) and never contact them first again. if you hear back then make plans but if you don’t then you know that they were wasting time and you can move on.

I was that 'fill-in-guy' since 15-18 and for sure it wasn't pleasant especially when my emotions blinded me from those red flags. I've learnt from those situations and I now know that I should ONLY go for the girls that like me instead of forcing myself to getting them to like me. It'll be so much simple for them to say "I'm not interested" instead of just using filter lines like "I'm too busy" and following it up with "I'll let you know" or something like that. It's genuinely exhausting and time consuming for someone who actually wants get into a mature relationship.

When you see people like Courtney in this world, you know there is still hope! Keep up the good work Courtney! God bless you.

Attention is so valuable to women, many are willing to talk, hangout, have a meal, and be driven around by men they DO NOT have any interest in. Because it's that much better than staying at home in silence with nothing to face but your fears and insecurities.

Very true, Courtney. Perhaps the same people who accepts being a "fill in guy" are the ones who put a person on a pedestal?

I think the problem is a lot of us know what we want and how we actually deserve to be treated, but we don’t believe we will ever actually receive it. Therefore, we put up with being treated poorly. If you think about it, a lot of this stuff is common sense. We just refuse to listen to reality.

On the money Courtney. Every guy who's dated much at all has known some version of this woman. All men know when they really like someone, they WILL make time for them, somehow they don't apply that knowledge logically from time to time. No one takes advantage of you without your permission.

I was that “Fill-In” Guy. I was a diversion and something to reduce her boredom on the phone. She took no initiative and showed no interest in seeing me. It was lousy.

The best advice is to be yourself and do not change for anybody jus to be with them!! Focus on yourself, your health, peace, and completing your goals. And you’ll naturally attract females. Once you are completely focused u can spot a female that’s not good for u a mile away. And lastly pay attention to how they move, talk, and their mindset. A basic ass female love’s attention and can’t really hold a conversation especially a deep conversation

The last experience I had with a girl was so one sided that it drained the shit out of me. I honestly don’t even want to approach girls anymore. Perhaps I just need time to heal but right now the thought of going out on a date, or reaching out to someone new, doesn’t feel right at all.

From my experience as a husband, the "fill in guy" needs to be chased away. He will wait YEARS for his opportunity. He also tends to not care about the girl's current relationship. Fill in guy is almost the same as male orbiter. It is disrespectful for any woman in a relationship to have this "fill in guy" so men beware...Stomp it out.

The fact you even have to talk about this tells you everything you need to know about modern women.