The impact of having an addicted partner on your mental and emotional health

I dated 2 men in a row with addictions. I thought after the 1st one it wouldn’t happen to me again but it did. I was financially, emotionally, sexually, physically traumatised. A basket case by the end of it all. It has taken me nearly 3 years to feel that I can now function. I still isolate a-lot if I feel overwhelmed. However for the first time in my life I’m very happy to be single and so much more at peace. I will never again enable another person. You do you is my new motto. I’m not responsible for a grown adult in any relationship in my life. I’m responsible for me and me only.

Pot addicts don't seem to want to quit at all

The part you said about their lack of awareness when it comes to the damage they do to those around them, I wish was understood by everyone… I was told time after time “it’s only me that I’m hurting” but couldn’t be further from the truth.. thank you

I am finally free.....if had a year of my love, forgiveness, understanding and patience......thankfully i began to despise him....all the lies and heartache is over.....i have my peace again...x

I’ve been in an on and off relationship for 2 years with a functioning alcoholic. I’ve always gone back to her because I feel so guilty. I would always think that she’s gonna get her shit together and everything is gonna be great. I finally had to let go! It is so hard but I have to let her go because I also have an 8 year old daughter and she has 2 kids of her own. I just can’t anymore. Your videos are spot on. Thank you!

This video helped prevent me from entering into a relationship with an alcoholic. Thank you

being w an addict/narcissist impacts you in ways people do not imagine. even long after escaping these people its a life sentence they gave you. the trauma never ends. and the recovery is a lifetime even for the non substance abuser.

You are living your life's purpose, Heidi. You shine in your role as a seer and a straight talker.

I am "hooked" on Heidi now😂. You have given me strength like you don't know. My husband of 24 years has relapsed. 6 1/2 years into our marriage he relapsed but I didn't know until then that he was an addict. He hide that nugget until it came out. He didn't go to treatment but he got better and stayed that way for another 12 years until 2021. He's 61 I'm 52 and I don't want to look back over my life and be filled with regret over the things I missed out on trying to "hang in there". I am finding strength in your videos. You are the best!!!!

They don't see how crazy they're acting and I am madly in love with the real them. The PAIN. It hurts SO FUCKIN BAD!

How true hell are your not blowing up ! What a fucking amazing channel !!!!!

The part where you said not to trust what the alcoholic says is gold! Wow! Yessss intuition. Yes, I have that radar. Yesss...gaslighting! I was feeling guilty because I thought my fear and distrust made him relapse.

I was so close to absolutely giving up on myself and my partner. Then the universe kept putting your videos in front of me. My father was an alcoholic which left deep scars. I never healed. A year ago I fell in love with an addict and those scars reopened and got worse. It’s time to start the healing process. Thank you for doing this work.

I don’t know how you do this but it always feels like you are describing everything I’m feeling. It’s such a relief to know I’m not going crazy. Everything I fear and struggle with is a direct consequence of having this person in my life. What’s sad is I was 19 and he was 24 when we met, I’m now 32 and I feel that I never got the chance to find my own identity I just got sucked into this role of a fixer. It’s a long story but he had just come back from Iraq in 2009 and he was truly a mess. The alcohol abuse was numbing his pain and it has been ever since. I wanted to be here for him but after 12 years it has seriously worn me down. So sad bc he has such great qualities. It’s time to think about my future and my mental health. I know it’s gonna suck to detach.

I am okay knowing he is a grown a-man. I will not be his mom , therapist or police officer! He will have to come to his own decision. I'm about personal responsibility. I think going through a separation and divorce, with my ex's mid life crisis , helped me learn about letting go. Stepping back and letting another person deal with natural consequences, and or owning their own sh-t! You are so spot on with actions over words. It applies in many other areas as well!😉

You gave me the strength to leave my husband today after 13 years of abuse. You woke me up in ways I didn’t know. My children and I thank you so much.

I feel like a pathetic loser. I’m a beautiful 50 year old woman with two awesome boys. I’m in love with an alcoholic, cocaine, gambling addicted. He’s not their dad and at this point I’m not relying on him for anything. I could end it right now and the only thing I would have to deal with is the heartbreak. He’s my friend, we have tons of fun together. And have a great friend group, he’s a beautiful human and his addiction is killing every part of him. I understand there is nothing I can do for him. But yet I’m still here. I don’t know why I won’t end it. I don’t know what I’m afraid of.

I think the biggest thing that hurts me the most is the lying and disrespect !!! I can’t deal with lies , I am a person that hates it , I raised my kids to always be truthful which to me is super important, builds trust . So I feel like I’m losing it because I am starting to uncover all these lies and now I feel like my whole relationship is one big lie and where does it end , what’s the truth or lie sooo lies to me is the worst . Makes you question EVERYTHING !!!

I deserve to enjoy my next 20-30 years. I need to learn to focus on ME. And who is that person? I struggle knowing he’s going to be evicted and be living in his truck. He won’t even have gas to move it to a new Walmart but trust me my mind KNOWS it’s about ME.

A sponsor for a co-dependent partner of an addict! Yes! I never thought of that.