NLP Techniques: Eliciting Values & Criteria

Damon Cart
Damon Cart
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Published 2016-07-27
NLP Techniques: Eliciting Values & Criteria

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What's the difference between Values and Criteria and why are they important?

A value is not a thing. Value is the degree of meaning you give something whether that's lots of meaning for the things you highly value or little meaning for the things you don't value or value little.

When I write "things" I'm also referring to experiences or services, not just objects.

Take money for example. We don't actually want a lot of green paper and large numbers in our bank account are meaningless unless we give it a value.

Everyone has their on individual valuation of things even money. Even though one hundred pennies equals a dollar and ten one hundred dollar bills equals a thousand dollars every person will have their own sense of what that amount of money means to them.

In order to elicit your value of money just simply ask yourself what is important about money? If you have a specific goal of how much money you want, get more specific and ask yourself specifically what's important about having that amount of money.

After every answer keep asking yourself what's important or what would "that" allow you to be, do, or have until you get to a point where you cannot find a higher value. 

Big values such as happiness and joy are usually where you end up.

Knowing your values is one of the most important things you can know because for most people their values are unconscious. Your values are what drives you to do everything you do. If you don't know why you do what you do, you're not living your life to its fullest.

Criteria is how you know when you have or experiencing your values.

Back to the example with money; once you know what your highest value is for having the money you want, it's time to elicit how you know when you are experiencing that value in sensory based terms. What do you see, hear, or feel when you experience that value?

Don't be surprised if your goal changes during this process. It often will because you'll often discover that the goal is somewhat arbitrary and you can experience your highest values without having to seek anything outside of yourself.

To summarize: Let's say you wanted to make one million dollars next year. After asking yourself what's important about achieving that goal you discovered that the highest value connected to this goal is happiness, you would then ask yourself how would you know it when you're happy? What would you see, hear, or feel? 

If this is difficult, recall a time when you were happy. What did you see, hear, or feel (feel can be both what you felt inside and/or sensory based feeling).

Chances are you're able to bring back the feeling of happiness just by recalling a time when you were happy and you can realized that you're doing this in the present and you're doing it without a million dollars. You're not depending on anyone or anything else to make you happy.

You may also realize that there is a certain amount of money that tends to make you feel really secure which adds to your happiness. Your criteria can be something internal and external.

A happy and resourceful person (especially someone who realizes that they have all of the resources within themselves that they need) is far more likely to achieve their goals than someone who is unhappy and unresourceful.

Eliciting values and criteria is something you can do with anything you want, not just money. You can also elicit other peoples' values and criteria. This often creates a very interesting and enjoyable discussion.

Once you get good at this you can incorporate it in your own happiness and wellbeing, coaching others more effectively, and closing sales and powerhouse negotiating.

Once you understand within yourself what drives you and how you know when you have it and you understand this in others, your life will open up in ways you could never imagine unless you make this a practice.

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All Comments (21)
  • @danilzubarev2952
    You make me understand people and myself more in every video. Such a great, inspiring person!
  • @loulightfrench23
    Excellent - thank you - very informative and helpful - one to watch again!
  • @kuysvintv8902
    This is nice demo video, thank you for this. It's seems she's a kinesthetic person because of the way she responds and her eye cues.
  • @valentinalaura5861
    I totally appreciate this thank you. I’d love to see more of this techniques in action ✨
  • @bulachesan
    Hello , I found your video very interesting with regard to kinestesic people, very good and clear explanation !
  • @ivanikolic3111
    Simple and beautiful demo. Do you have a video or blog where you talk about the difference between values and criteria?
  • @gabrielsocial2708
    Thanks by this video. It helps me so much. I got a question, when I choose a high value for get its submodalities and make mapping across to include a lower value to top of my hierarchy how would I lead with aways from or towards values? For example if my top value is away from and I wanna upwards a towards value would I use that change of submodalities or I'll have problems?