Think Before You Speak; The Monster Study: Jocko Underground 026

There was also an experiment where teachers were told an average class had exceptional students. With time these children improved dramatically as a result of this experiment.

This is a good example on why gaslighting and narcissistic abuse is so evil

Jocko never fails to amaze me. As tough as he comes across most of the time, he just taught me an extremely important lesson: How to talk to my two very sensitive kids.

My parents, peers, and teachers always told me I was really smart. So I believed it. Anyways later in life it caught up to me because I had no discipline. I was always like "I'm smart I don't need to study." "I'm smart I don't need to do homework, I'll just ace the tests." I didn't realize that all of this was destroying my discipline, and my ability to grind through hard, boring, things.

My dad stuttered all his life. When he was in his 20s he realized that his stuttering made other people more uncomfortable than him, so he started poking fun at himself (ala Lighten up Francis). This actually decreased his stuttering exponentially. When I was 2 or 3 years old, I started showing signs of stuttering. My dad knew that focusing on it might make it worse, so they TOTALLY ignored it. I have absolutely no signs of stuttering today, In fact, I had no idea that any of this transpired until my mom told me, and I was in my mid-30s!

Words spoken by yourself, and words spoken over you have an impact. This is biblical. I love how this guy did this study. It just confirms the truth.

Just a very slight push back for all those that may be thinking they need to tell their kids how great they are always now - remember that doesn’t work out the best either. There is a balance between belittling someone, giving constructive feedback, and building someone up. Find balance in all things.

Telling a child they're doomed to be a certain way is the surest way to make it happen. Hearing about this study turns my stomach.

Dude my dad eroded away my confidence as a young kid and until he split at 15 I never really knew peace. I’d start to get confident about school or workout or myself and boom he’d cut me down with some gas lighting comment. I’m 30 now I’ve done Bjj and beach rescue I’ve swam long distance swims and lifted weights for years now. I’ve passed difficult courses in college and I’m learning to fly airplanes now. But there is still no matter how much I accomplish a sense or lack of confidence in my acts. I have to work on it everyday often times faking it until it’s real. If you’re a father,that shit seriously.

Im reminded of how my family treated me, until I finally stopped trying to get back in the family after the last time I got disowned by them. I am also reminded of how the cancer industry handled the discussions around my cancer diagnosis. In both cases, their handling of it was and is still monstrous.

As an older guy who has raised many dogs it takes like 100 times positive talks for every 1 negative. Dogs and people are not that different. Having worked in corp environment for 25 years it is amazing how positive speech inspires and negative speech just destroys the desired result.

Awesome insight as always. I can't help but think about Goggins and how his upbringing did such harm to him in his early life but ultimately made him into the no excuses no blame placing person he is today. He has a new book out, can we please try and get him on the podcast, it would be the most awesome thing ever. Jocko and Goggins have influenced my life for the better and have helped me be accountable. I was an alcoholic headed nowhere, but now I've been sober for two years and have many positive things in the works, thanks to the wisdom I have picked up from you both. It would be amazing to see you guys bounce ideas off each other.

I remember an acquaintance telling his kids when they were young "you'll never amount to anything in life" sure enough, as adults, they hit that target effectively. Words are powerful. Use them carefully, especially with children.

“Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise is a healing”

Growing up with high-functioning Autism, I wasn't always the most confident person. But I was an articulate kid, assertive, and had a good sense of self-worth. High school changed all of that. Not only was I bullied frequently for my disorder, but many of the teachers - and even the principal - flat-out ignored it, even when it was happening right in front of them. I was even sucker-punched in one classroom and nobody would touch the kid who did it to me. To top it off, they sent me to a guidance counselor who actually tried to make me dumb myself down because they thought that was the issue. I went on to better schools after I graduated, but the damage was - and to a certain degree, still is - done. I'm 35 now, and these last few years I have been on a steady upward trajectory in life. But I can't help but feel that I could have gotten to where I am sooner in life had more people over there actually stood up for me instead of against me.

This is proof that the power of suggestion is so critical to a person's mental stability.

I had a speech impediment as a kid. My family made fun of me for it. Now I am an introvert and can’t stand to converse. I get nervous if it’s anybody outside my immediate family, shake and start to sweat. Love it.

Jocko is so correct...I did that with my daughter positive reinforcement she doesn't stutter anymore

As a child I couldn’t even talk due how bad my stutter was, I found out that joking about it helped me to loose my tongue. Gotta admit, I felt enraged while listening how they treated these poor kids.

My God I feel like I was apart of "the monster study" as a kid I was constantly told how bad my speech was and developed a speech impediment. No body worked with me not even my family and it felt like everybody around me just gave up on me. Not only that kids at school would make fun of me for it which would make me act out. I was falling down a slippery slope until one night I laid in bed and figured out all the words I couldn't say and I sounded those words out every single night until I got them right. I didn't know how to read either until I was in the 6th grade because nobody wanted to take the time to help me all the teachers I had just told me I sucked. So one day I was at the school library and picked up a book and I told myself I was going to know each word in it and how to say. It was a 500 page book and it took me 6 months to read it front to back and while I read the book any word I didn't know how to say I had a dictionary right beside me to look up the word, figure out it's meaning, and how to say it. Within a year my reading level went from a 1st grade to 12th grade. I started school in the early 2000's and they probably weren't doing the monster study then it was probably just crap public school system but I believed in myself and because of that belief I became a monster