I Swear To God : Heaven and Hell || Jim Jefferies

"Religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich and powerful" Napoleon.

"if you've been bad all your life why would the devil want to punish you?" great argument

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful. — Seneca

Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons, I won't try religion for bacon reasons

"Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool." -- Voltaire

This is exactly why I love comedians. No tiptoeing just spouting hard truths with a laugh. 😂

As a fellow Australian, that was just amazing, for a moment there I thought I was thinking aloud, I recall the 1st thing that put me off religions asides from the stupidity & the rules was we were forced to study it from primary to highschool, even if you weren't religious, & I don't do well if I'm forced to do anything, especially if it was stupid. However when I got to highschool we also had specific lessons on history & I was very good at history, the teacher was an unashamed athirst & made this guy look tame, but without the swearing. One day in religious education we had to do a report on our view of the life of Jesus, so I set out a list of inaccuracy's that we had been taught & why, it was not complementary, it did not go down well with the teacher, who oddly enough also taught science, I thought he was going to have a seizure, he was also a big bloke so could be quite intimidating. Eventually I ended up at the office & asked to explain myself & where I got my ideas from, I said that I formed my views in history class, so my history teacher was summonsed, now she looked like a nice little old lady & raised goats, but when she saw what I was being badgered about she let both the Principal & the religious ed teacher have it with both barrels. I didn't see exactly what happened next as I was quickly ushered out, but you could hear her yelling at them from halfway across the school. in the end I didn't have to go to religious education classes anymore & spent time in the library reading up on history, mainly.

Growing up Catholic, the thought of eternity scared me. Even then I knew I didn't want to do ANYTHING forever! That is literally for me!

"What is mysterious about acting like an effing a-hole" had me in stitches! 😂

The idea of heaven cheapens the experience of life.

Everything I want to say about religion. What an absolute genius this guy is.

Have never heard of this man before. His religious thinking, is freakin brilliant!!

Brilliant comedy because it is all true!! Jim’s a legend.

This is the greatest shit ever. Jim is the prophet we really need. Amen.

“Hello uncle who used to touch me. How did you get up here? … Oh, yeah, you used to work for the church” 😂

How anyone can believe in ANY god in the 21st century baffles me. Oh yeah, faith. Well, faith is the excuse people use for believing in something absent sufficient evidence to warrant belief. In other words, gullibility.

The "I'm mysterious" gag is fucking brilliant 🤣

This guy hits the nail right on the head! Awesome!!!

Finally! A crowd reacting the same way I did when I first got told the story of Noah as an adult 😂

This guy just trolled half the world population in one take😂😂