This Is A Conversation Every Woman Needs to Hear | Women of Impact Panel

I have a career, but I don’t really care about it...but I’ve never wanted kids either (and I’m almost 45). I want to live simply and just help animals.

It is hard enough to be a woman in this world, we shouldn't judge one another but be supportive sisters for each other. ❤️❤️❤️

I heard an interesting perspective once that said wanting to become a parent was a selfish choice. It is because it is in fact a choice of what you want out of your life not what you need. You WANT to have a child, to be a Mom, to be a Dad...to pass on YOUR lineage and ideas and to leave YOUR legacy. That in itself is actually a selfish motivation. Yet, it is the childless and childfree people of the world who are judged...go figure! My perspective? If someone wants to have kids, fine. If someone doesn't want kids, fine. If you wanted them but it just wasn't in the cards for you, fine. People need to take their nose out of other people's lives and focus on their own situations.

I don’t mean this arrogantly at all but I never wanted kids and Im very sure about it. Im fine with being alone at the end of my days. I’ll figure it out.

I never wanted children, but I got pregnant when I lost my virginity. I love my son, but being a mother is not the best thing in my life. I'm actually rather thrilled that he is 18 and ready to be a real adult. It's a hard life being a "good mom" and I don't know that I ever got the hang of it. I don't resent my son, but there are moments when I wonder what life would've been like without him. This was a great discussion. Thank you all for sharing.

I always say that women don't share their true stories enough. We are all out here struggling with our decisions one way or another daily. So kudo for speaking out on this topic.

I’m a full time nanny who loves kids,but doesn’t want her own.Its a tough job,it’s non-stop pretty much and the guilt I feel when I don’t do the right thing with the kids it’s torturous.They are NOT even my kids,but I’m the kind of person who has very high standards when it comes to raising kids.Anyone can have them,but not many know how to raise them properly.I appreciate Sanja for outsourcing the housework and focusing on quality time.My mom chose a clean house and meals from scratch over spending time with me like playing.People complain kids nowadays grow with iPads.Well, I watched TV for hours and no one thought that’s not healthy.Lisa,thank you and Tom for being so inspiring ❤️

Here i am 26, working 80%, so not a career woman and i dont want children. I just want to enjoy life!

My parents never enjoyed day to day life, we rarely did anything fun & spontaneous, they worked 7 days a week to accommodate my needs and provide for my education abroad. I really appreciate it as an adult, as they worked extremely hard but this put me off from having kids for good. I studied superhard and tried my best, I have a demanding career now which does matter to me but I just want to enjoy my life outside of work, travel and spend my money on me. The pressure and anxiety they put on themselves was just crazy.

It is fine to not want children. I am 43 and married to a wonderful guy and no kids. I initially wanted them when I was younger...but it was more to fit in with the "mother club" and to make my mother and father happy. It is strange though for women...we are told, "don't get pregnant...don't get pregnant..." then quickly told, "Hurry up and get pregnant....clock is ticking." Really!?! So we have to have the college experience, career, then find the man, get the babies, and do all of it?! Well I guess I failed in more ways than one.

As a woman of mid age with no children, I can truly say in extremely happy I never did. It wasn’t meant to happen with the people I was with thank the Lord. I chose not to to not potentially pass on my visual impairment originally but as I got older and was a step mom I’m good. I look forward to continuing to do the things that make me absolutely happy. Judgement is others problem not mine.

I’m from Zimbabwe, I know the struggle of not affording to pay $10 for school fees. I want to adopt as many as I can to educate who can not afford in Zimbabwe.

I've never really wanted them. When men stopped being providers and expected us to bring in half the takings it's turned into a total scam.

I just never had mothers instinct in me because I never liked kids. Maybe it would change if I meet the right person, but unfortunately I do not have much time. So, I leave it to the universe and seriously I do not care what people think about me not having kids. There are other things in life that makes me happy.

I live my life for me. Not other people. Probably one of my BEST discoveries of 2020. If people can’t support my journey and my decisions and what’s best for me, then they don’t deserve to be in my life. I’m more than willing to support others on their journey, but if they look down on my life because it’s not the same as theirs (which is usually just pure jealousy and narcissistic tendencies - don’t need that in my life!), I’m not here for it. I’m worth more than that. I’m worthy of loving relationships.

Interesting my mum born in 1933 and always lived her life her way.... not marrying and having kids till late 30s and into 40s....told me to travel, get out and live your life before you get married or have kids. Best mum ever💞👍

This is so interesting. My mother wasn’t happy just being a mother. She always chose her job(s) and her social life over the kids. She wasn’t around when we needed her. I’ve struggled with identity throughout my adult life so much because the expectation in my family was to have a career and all I wanted was to be a mother. As a child I loved plying house with my dolls, cooking and taking care of a family. But I went into architecture and design and was miserable. When I became a mom I knew I wanted to stay home and I have been a stay at home mom ever since. I still struggle with shame over it.

Thank you, very interesting subject! I completely respect your choices and I’m sorry I made you feel the way you did when telling you that I wanted grandchildren. I only want you to be happy - that is all I ever wanted, and I see that you are my beautiful butterfly. Love you

Wow! This conversation is so needed. I was just speaking on the same topic, how women are expected to be everything and do everything. There's so much expectation on women, from adolescence to adulthood. There's a double standard - boys are loved, girls are raised. But I absolutely love the raw transparency in this convo and speaking so much truth that so many of us can relate to. Bravo ladies.

I can really relate to the blonde lady in this video with regards to her confusion and ambivalence about children and the pain it has caused her. I had very mixed messages about parenthood growing up. At that time pregnancy was presented as a catastrophe, academic achievement was the most important thing, and I should leave marriage and children until my thirties. Then in my thirties I couldn't get pregnant but all of my siblings popped them out one after the other and suddenly careers were nothing and grandchildren everything. Now I realise that sometimes people (including your own parents) only give so-called advice that suits themselves at that moment in time. Unlike this lady, I did, however, go through IVF 5 times which ate up all my savings I worked so hard for all those years (ex-partner at that time wasn't working but that's another added complication I won't get into - he wasnt really a suitable partner in many ways, but that also took me a long time to realise). Throughout that and even now I am still ambivalent. Sometimes I think it's the confusion that causes the most pain. And if you tell people you are ambivalent they think it means you don't really care, rather than you are confused and distressed by your confusion. I think I always feared the responsibility of parenthood but if it had happened I would have embraced it. But of course, I can't know that for sure. I wish I knew that I definitely never wanted them, so I wouldn't have pissed all my money and 10 years of my life away trying to have them. The IVF clinic never offered any support or counselling. Most are only interested in positive test results to make their clinics look good and your money. You are just another sucker to them. I tend to be a solitary type of person into solitary pursuits so I at least like my own company. But for that reason sometimes I think it was maybe even more important for me to have had my own little family. My social circle is practically nil now. Friends and siblings with children are pretty absorbed in their own life. Some I prefer to avoid as they are too unbearably obsessed with their children. My situation has caused me to withdraw from society even more. I try to do my hobbies as usual, but I feel kind of frozen in time, like life is moving on without me. I am having a particularly stressful time at work at the moment, and when that happens you think...is this all there is? Where did I go wrong?