Why Did NOBODY Notice YOU'RE Autistic Before?

The good old days was a myth for boomers on the spectrum.

Thank you for discussing this! This is something I think about a lot. As a child, I was minimally verbal (did not become fully verbal until my 20s), suffered from chronic pain due to sensory overwhelm, cried basically daily, did not have any real friends until I transferred to public school and met diagnosed autistic classmates, etc etc. I know my parents believe autism doesn't exist, but I often can't help but wonder what my pediatrician and elementary school teachers thought. Were they simply uneducated? Did they dismiss it because I'm a girl or because I was smart? How many people noticed, but thought it would do me more harm than good to receive a diagnosis? Ultimately, it doesn't matter, but I often think back to that little girl, struggling and suffering without accomodation, and wonder what justification each person had for refusing me proper care and accomodations.

My mother knew I was autistic, but didn't get me tested as she was on the run from social services. She told social services that I was outwith parental control (with-holding anything about suspected autism) and I was put into a residential school. She would rather wrongly tell everybody that my autism was mental health problems to get out of accountability.

My autistic traits were written all over my school reports. My struggles were blamed on my other disability and I was told I had to fix myself.

I am 55 years old. I was diagnosed with Aspergers in the 4th grade but my parents did not tell me. I only know because a therapist thought I might be Autistic. I went on Facebook and read entries from a Parent of Autistic children group. Their stories about their children sounded a lot like my childhood. I told some of my friend and none of them were surprised. I told one of my cousins and she told me I was diagnosed with Asperger's in elementary school. I think my parents did me disservice because I constantly wanted to commit suicide because I was not fitting could not understand why.

Not only ignorance, but my parents were both struggling with their own depression and problems, and most likely were neurodivergent as well. That might be the case for many other late diagnosed autistics. Frankly, I blame my teachers and school staff a lot more than I blame my parents. My parents probably saw our traits and thought they were normal because that's what their own childhoods were like. As for advocacy, I can only thank creators like you for helping me not feel ashamed or scared or hopeless about my diagnosis. Seeing autistic people being so open and honest and sometimes even proud about their autism makes me feel less embarrassed, stronger, and more patient with myself. I'm even making art and comics about my own experiences now. Thank you!

I’m black and born in 1977 I was just diagnosed in May. Race is a major factor that has hindered diagnosis in America.

Hindsight can be a wonderful thing, but it's never around when you need it!

Ignorance is a huge one. I'd never thought about it until my therapist suggested it, mainly because I had my own ignornt ideas about autism. Thanks to you and others, I am less ignorant. Even though there are a couple of studies which contend that the incidence of autism in people with certain congenital blindnesses such as rubella, ROP or Leber's Optic Atrophy, similarities get passed of to the blindness and ignored. I'm extremely curious about what my assessor is going to unearth hwen I finally get to see her. I'm expecting every reaction from none to horror, having already received the latter from someone whom I thought was a dear friend but who did not take kindly to my calling out her ignorance. Keep in shining. 👏👏

before i got diagnosed by a doctor, or recognized by my parents, a random stranger on tumblr diagnosed me as an aspie. :] i made a lengthy vent post on my blog about my life long struggles with communication, self harm, school, and retaining/following instructions and they told me i should look into signs of autism in girls! matched me to a T. though my mom denied it, but a few years later i had the papers to prove it. Lol the strange thing is that— A. apparently my older sister (who basically raised me) had been pointing out that i had textbook development differences and difficulties since i was a BABY and should be tested, but my parents ignored her since she was a teen and there was "nothing wrong" with me. and B. the moment my diagnosis became public, every aunt and uncle came out of the woodworks to admit they "had a feeling"! it's so frustrating that autism is such a taboo topic that adults would rather watch a child struggle with a lack of understanding of the world & themselves than be the one to break the "bad news" that they're just different and need support.

While not having a social media presence, I have elected to be visible about my AudHD in my work environment and have spoken frankly about it in group social online events. Going without a diagnosis for over 50 years was a struggle, but I've also learnt from coming out as a gay man over and over again, that advocacy never stops and you need to give people a real face and human story to learn from. Some of my colleagues have non-verbal autistic children and I believe really appreciate those of us trying to pitch a flag on a new continent of rational acceptance and compassion. That is where they hope their children will live.

It's too bad, that the World used punishment to deal with us and our unknown condition, but offer NO FORGIVENESS even after learning about its existence.

It was Wakefield’s scare mongering about MMR vaccines turning children autistic. It scared my wife and I when our first was born, in 1999. Would our daughter become autistic because of vaccine damage. A lot of soul searching and deep diving research let us look at relative risks of childhood diseases v vaccines. Irony is, I was/am, the biggest chance of our children being autistic. Now strongly suspect that 2 of our 3 children are autistic.Tried to get a diagnosis for one of our daughters, about 5 years ago, but CAMHS said our daughter couldn’t be autistic because autism is a boy thing. And the “risk” that our children are autistic arises from me being autistic.

As a GenX with Boomer and Millenial autistic relatives who tick all three boxes this is a great summary and spot on! Thanks Quinn 💜

Well, Quinn, TY for doing this video. Autistics are blamed by the Neurotypical majority for not knowing we were Autistic as children. But, as I see it, they can't expect the Autistic child to do the diagnosing. It was clearly Neurotypicals before 1994 who are to blame. And, for women who are Autistic, not being timely diagnosed really ruined our lives. Many Autistics hold our governments responsible for this, and believe we should get reparations.

since I have been thinking about this alot my first responses to even just the title were: "they did notice, but they didn't know it was autism + denial and ignorance" people would rather blame me for my "oddities"(aka considering it intentional) or play it down as just being quirky if I complained about my issues, than consider that what I had been talking about would be valid in some way. For others I seemed "unique and interesting" which is also not necessarily comfortable, because I don't want to stand out and as a child I was so chronically overstimulated all the time that I just wanted to be left alone and wished to be "just average and like everyone else" so I wouldn't gain attention for things I didn't even know what I was doing that was making me stand out so much...-.- So people definitely noticed....but they didn't know what it meant (and maybe some didn't want to know)

I sucked my thumb until the 4th grade, skipped everywhere, carried my schoolbooks on my head, and couldn't properly socialize with other kids, was constantly beat up, and was sent to a special school bc i couldnt mainstream. Finally diagnosed at age 49!

That's funny you bring up Rainman. I remember watching that movie and realizing I had a touch of that. I was 11 or 12 at the time. Really helped dodge the diagnosis until I was ready, 30 plus years later lol.

I was born in 1965 and I am convinced that a diagnosis would have been very bad for me. In the sixties and seventies, doctors in Germany did not shy away from putting children with psychological problems in homes. I personally overheard a conversation like this at the doctor's: "You're going to have trouble with this one, you have to give him away." Last year a user here on a YouTube channel noticed me: "You could be demisexual, take an autism test" What can I say, I looked at the test when I was 58, oh god that's me.

This background you have for your human self with the dark colors and shaded green/blue... is much better on my eyes, thank you.