What To Do When NOBODY is Listening To You - Jocko Willink

My dad always told me “nobody wants to hear your opinion… if they do, they will ask”… so damn true. It’s a universal fact that most people will not listen to unsolicited advice unless you are some type of perceived authority or successful example of the advice you are offering.. and even then, people probably won’t listen if they didn’t ask for it.

The guy is probably in his room right now thinking, “Woooow even Jocko didn’t listen to me!!”

guy: "nobody likes me" jocko: "do some jiu jitsu"

I'm over 30 and I realized around college that people don't want solutions or advice, most of the time they just want to talk about themselves, seek sympathy, or just wan to be listened to. Since then I've stopped giving advice unless asked for, and even if I give it then I'm not expecting it to be followed. On the flipside the issue is that: - my expectations of people are lower now - it's hard to care about their problems since they themselves do not care enough to actually solve them - how to differentiate between the people that just want to talk about their problems vs people that actually seek help? - some people do not want help at all, they feel like they need to find a solution on their own. So what do you do with these people that refuse help, but are doing something wrong that is hurting themselves and their colleagues?

Wouldn't it be ironic if the guy who asked this question completely ignored Jocko's advice?

A guy : “Hey Jesus, I keep giving pearls to pigs, but they don’t appreciate how valuable they are.” Jesus : “yeah don’t do that.”

Crazy how this kid's honest question and jocko's honest response to him made me realize how alike i am to the kid and how compelling jocko's words are.

Some people don't want help, some people just want someone to listen to them while they vent. Knowing when to give advice and when to shut up takes tact and patience.

Jocko: "how many times have you heard me say I KNOW IM RIGHT" As he points a Knife at echo Echo without missing a beat: "NONE"

"I use facts and logic." "Honesty without grace can be brutality." is what my mom told me

I can attest that I fell victim to this mindset. It's taken me a while to look at myself honestly and scrutinize the worst of my character traits. Listening to this was therapeutic and reassuring that I'm on the right track. The straight talk from Jocko cuts through all the drama and crap that my mind thinks.

"Even Corvettes that aren't Corvettes start looking like Corvettes." -Jocko

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I have an immense amount of respect for people like Jocko, who get a letter that would be so easy to just laugh off, but he actually has the patience and spine to answer with sound advice. Such level headed people are extremely rare nowadays.

I'm glad he had the courage to ask that question. Can you imagine being so insecure, and you come to a man like Jocko with that. It had to be intimidating. I guess I know because I feel some of the same things that guy was saying.

This was me yesterday and I'm in my 30's. I was aware I'm doing something wrong but couldn't pin point what. Today I try to be less ego-driven and focus on fixing what's lacking in my life instead of trying to compensate by "helping" others. I still have the "I'm right" mentality at times, but am smartish enough to keep my mouth shut now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Victim mentality works until it doesn't.

"If you smell sh*t everywhere you go, check your shoes."

Jocko listened to you. That surely is a good start! :D

The second letter gave me the creeps a lot, such a controlling mentality. Many domestic abusers think this way - everything is a slight, an insult, and a threat. It’s a recipe for a miserable, lonely life and chronic victimhood. Well done for the advice I hope you got through to them

That was the podcast that made me stop on the side of the road and think a lot. I started this video because i had the same problem as the guy who wrote the email. It is the opposite of what I have expected lol. I felt kicked down in the mud mentally but from a guy like him it was an honour and truly helped a lot. And also got a lot of empathy and good advice. That was more than a year ago, and now everything goes way better than before. Thank you, wish you all the best 👍