The Keys To Raising Resilient Children | Erica Komisar

For lack of timestamps, here is my attempt: 7:00 - 1 children are born neurologically fragile not resilient 10:27 - 2 children need their parents' presence physically and emotionally as much as possible throughout childhood not just 0 to 3 11:01 - 3 children need mentally healthy parents 11:06 - 4 children need stability and community 13:01 - 5 children need a childhood where technology use is regulated Thank you Erica Komisar for speaking up against your own profession: 13:43 parents play the most important role they need to take responsibility for their children's mental health 18:45 Psychiatry should be a last resort when a child is showing signs of anxiety depression ADHD or behavioral problems unless there is a severe crisis A correction: CS Lewis never said that “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” Dr. John Trainer did.

I wish all parents would listen to this speech. I work in a daycare facility for children aged 18 to 36 months. Most of the time, two caretakers watch over up to 13 children. I frequently witness children emotionally struggling, biting, and hitting. If I were allowed to give our parents one piece of advice, it would be: Keep your children at home as long as possible.

Absolutey this is cultural. In Canada when meeting new people I was asked 'what do you do?' I said I take care of my children, people said 'oh' and left me alone. I now live in México and when meeting new people, most don't even ask, or if they do they ask about the children. It is assumed that caring for children is what women do. It's amazing and validating! Mother's are very respected in this society.

My children will need to thank this lady. After listening to her interview, I became a stay at home mum. Both my kids will have me at home till they turn 5yrs old. Thank you!

These messages tear my heart into pieces 😢. My kids started sleeping in school at the age of 4 after me and their dad seperated and their dad refused to help us with life. I had to drop them to boarding schools coz my mum is too old and weak to care for them. I'm working as a house maid in another country for my kids well being and education. It kills me that I can't give them a parental life 😭. I always feel so bad to hear them say " mummy please come back", but I worry about their future too. I always tell myself "it's okay stay strong", but it's really not okay, It's every day mental pain. But I thank GOD that I can work and provide for their needs as I pray for the path to living with them again as i also work hard for, that time to come. Dear parents, if you have got a chance to be in your kids life, please don't ignore it, it's treasure for them and you ❤.

I'm proud to say that my 2 children never used childcare apart from their grandparents. I have always worked part time. We struggled financially but thought it was important to be there for our children. However, we have been very lucky, not everyone has the option.

Children are the most important work!! So glad we made do with one salary. Our 4 children are amazing. I have 11 amazing grandchildren now. Funny thing is we have no debts (just bought a brand car with cash) , a wonderful home and take great holidays. Many that put careers first have debts and broken marriages. We've been married 52 years now. And yes, even way back then, stay at home Moms were looked down on. I'm proud of my life. Children are a blessing not an inconvenience. Give them, not a job, the best of your life, not the leftovers. Don't let the last part of your life, be a regret for lost time with your husband and children. You think you're important?? There's so many people who could do your job better than you. BUT NOBODY can love and care for your child better than you 💞

At around 18.30 mark she says one very important thing- being physically & emotionally present. I come from a generation where parents were physically present but not emotionally. One entire generation now suffering through mental health crisis.

So glad the speaker put emphasis on needing both parents for different reasons. I wish more individuals would understand this logic.

I love every word. Proud of our family that we have stayed 3 years with our son and going to stay 3 years with our twins. Kids' needs are our priority and I'm happy we respect them.

Love her honesty and it's hard to argue with what she says, even if it's uncomfortable. She's the first person I've heard brave enough to highlight the connection between daycare for young children and mental health in later life, so glad someone is raising this and challenging the 'norm's' of modern society. So happy she mentions the importance of play in childhood, but wished she'd snuck in something about the importance of getting outside into nature for supporting mental health too! 😃

I've heard this woman speak before. I always feel like I'm the exception to the study. I stayed at home with my daughter till she went to school and slept in the same room with her till she was 6 years old. We don't have any screens or video games in our house. She comes from a two parent house with parents who love each other. We follow consistent routines. I feel like i did everything this woman said we should be doing and yet my daughter is still very anxious and has severe ADHD. Conversely, when I had my son, I was going to follow the same path but at 2.5 year, he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. The first thing they told us to do was to put him in daycare and get exposed to other kids his age. We saw so much improvement in his communication and interaction with us once he went to daycare. He also loved going to daycare. He didn't start talking till he was 4.5 but the improvement was seen after he went to daycare. He was also more confident when he started school and does not have the same issues that my daughter has with separation. I do believe that this women speaks truth and that data doesn't lie but you also have to know your child. My daughter was just inherently anxious and I doubt that anything I did, would have prevented that. She may have been worse if she would have gone. Conversely, my son may have never learned to talk if he hadn't gone to daycare. I say know your child and do what is best for them, regardless of what the "data" says.

I think this presentation gets to the core of the problem of children and mental health. We've crossed a line into hyper individualism and, in doing so, de-prioritised our children. An inconvenient truth to be sure, but one we have a deep moral obligation not to ignore.

Great speech! I am a mother of two kids, age 4 and 1. I returned to work when my oldest child was 4 months old. Thankfully, the work was remote and I was able to breastfeed her for 17 months. She was placed to a daycare at the age of 2 years and 10 months and it was pretty devastating for her. I was laid off while 5 months pregnant with my second child. After that I have been staying with my children, while working part time on a flexible schedule. Nothing can be more important than being with them. I am grateful for the opportunity to stay with them, although motherhood is definitely challenging, but most rewarding experience. My earnest respect to the speaker as, in my opinion, she truly pointed to a very deep problem that we as a society have. Thank you for this video!

An incredible chat. Very well done. As a mother, once I had my first child, I felt an immediate pull towards being rooted at home with my child. I left work multiple times a day to breastfeed and ensured that I'd be home by 13:30 daily. When my son was born two years later, I sold my company. Both my children are securely attached. I hope all mommies are given the choice to he home or to be home as much as possible. Thank God for the blessing of family, may He guide us all.

Staying at home 3 years with my second son. I love every minute with my kids.😊❤❤❤❤❤

I had my daughter when I was doing my PhD, I didn’t stay home, but brought her to a daycare on-site of the university since she was 10 months. The ratio was maximum 1:4. My daughter was well cared. She stayed there 7 hours a day for 5 days per week. My daughter is 13 now, a strong and independent girl but still quite attached to me particularly at night. I agree with the speaker’s point of view, but for mothers who really want to work, choose the daycare wisely.

I watch every interview with her I can find and I am looking forward to reading her book „Being there“ this month. I always felt what was right when it comes to caring for children. But it is an immeasurable help to be backed up by science and such a wonderful woman who speaks up against the narrative. You always have to defend yourself if you want to stay home with your child and not thrive for a career.

Absolutely 100% agree with all of this. Heartbreaking that we’ve lost our ability to attune to our kids. There’s definitely a trend within our culture to almost dehumanise children. Maybe that’s too strong of a word but I see so many comedians joke about how much they hate their kids..unfortunately subconsciously people take these messages in and suddenly it’s normal to denegrate children. There are many examples of narcissism within our society that harm our kids.

Really powerful speech. The only missing piece of the puzzle that isn’t covered here is the impact of poor nutrition on metabolism which plays a huge role in mental health and the remarkable increase we are seeing in neurodiverse individuals who are often prone to anxiety. Processed foods and especially sugars I believe, are at the heart of these increasing numbers due to the impact poor metabolism has on egg and sperm quality. Back to basics all round is the remedy!