'Children need biological fathers' | Erica Komisar

Even back in the 1950s Dad's played with their infants and small kids. Lots of photos of my 2 older sisters as toddlers "helping Dad garden". Dad never changed a diaper but he played and provided carrying and safety while out as a family. His eyes knew where we were at all times in the big backyard, mom had no clue. He also conspicuously locked all doors, checked windows, and closed drapes at dark, making the house safe. Good Dad energy.

Fathers give children their confidence, i was robbed of my childhood and Identity growing up and it caused me to be starved for love and validation. I wish i wud have had someone to teach me anything . I feel like I wasn’t taught anything. I was in a religious system that demanded absolute obedience with no explanation, and no validation.

I was fortunate to have 4 children. Two boys and two girls. I chose not to listen to advise from my feminist sister and rather than see my masculin tendencies as "toxic" I let my instincts help with dealing with my children and my wife. I was never sure that my influence was not causing harm. I was certainly told by my sister my how many of my instincts were wrong acording to the dictates of the feminist narrative. The biggest disagreement was over play. I'd set up competitive games for the boys and encourage what I saw as healthy competition. As time goes on I'm glad I didn't fold. I can see that the things I was teaching them could have been corrupted if I had entirely concentrated on the competitiveness. I didn't need my wife to intervene and include compassion and fairness into the games but those attributes were clearly important to her and her instincts. I'm very much with the idea that men and women are complimentary forces for good if ballanced correctly, but if I'd listened to the cultural narratives there would definitely be large holes in my children's characters.

I think it is interesting how much more you can learn about parenting, yet at the same time how much instinct you already have in you to do the right thing. When you simply love your kids and do all you can for them it tends to work out okay. We all come from a million years of evolution, of an unbroken succession of successful parents. Not all perfect to be sure, but enough input to get their children to adulthood and repeat the cycle.

In my experience, in my culture mothers got different function than fathers - mothers were better in consolation after some bad thing happened to kid and fathers function was to help kid to be adventurous, to be brave, to try new things. Well, smt a bad thing happened to kid becouse fathers kept trying to persuade kid to try new things, to be brave, to gain experience. Thats where mothers role was - to console after bad things happened :)

I love this - she is spot on. The data on this has been around for a long time but is kind of supressed in order to protect the vanity and feelings of women. It's a silly low level way of operating and helps no one. The data on the crucial role that biological fathers play in the likelihood of healthy life outcomes for children is some of the most stark of any in the sciences. It is overwhelming, consistent and goes back decades. We must restore the biological father to the home, make it safe for him again and stop the casual banishment of him in his children's lives. The state is the issue. It incentivises the removal of the father. This must stop.

If you ask most fathers they'll tell you they had nothing to do with raising young children. "I just played with them once in a while." THAT'S IT! You did it! That's what you're SUPPOSED to do! How beautiful is it that what we want to do with children is what is not only appropriate but absolutely necessary. And yes... moms. It's no fair. Mom's interactions with the children day to day are mostly mundane. Dad is like the local amusement park. But dad should also be the disciplinarian. Nurturing and empathy are counter to discipline. It can seem like betrayal. Dad can discipline and still be loved for the fun. If your husband isn't doing his job... if "wait till your father gets home" isn't a thing... you better let him know how important that is and that's something unfair that he can and should remedy.

I had a very close relationship with my father. There are photos of him holding me up in the air, both of us grinning from ear to ear and laughing. I am a few months old in these, certainly less than a year old. I remember him showing me how to hold a golf club when I five. One possible reason I never married was I wasn't able to find as good, intelligent, compassionate, and fun guy as my dad.

4:56 Why on earth would you want to teach fathers to be more like mothers, and mothers to be more like fathers?

In Austria the father has no say. It doesn't matter if the baby was planned or not. The more interest the father shows, the more the system gets in the way. The only connection the father has is what he pays the mother, every month. The mother doesn't have to declare what the money is spent on. But the court will ask the father too declare everything. If you pay for something, it's nice to get to use it or spend time with .

Thank you for this EXCELLENT analysis of male/female roles in parenting.

Terrifyingly true - we need both mothers and fathers and without them both the outcome is a life time of searching for something without knowing what... and the search is quietly frenetic .

I remember back in the 80's when the media was saying that Father's were not important. Go figure.

At last someone to explain those impulses I have to engage with my kids which are totally different from how my wife engages with them.

if we are going to argue that "children need biological fathers" then we need to combat the hatred perpetuated by activists( feminists) against fathers and taken up by mothers who seek to remove fathers from their children's lives. Everything you say here is going to be useless when you have a high divorce rate followed by high rates of alienation of the non custody parent( majority of which are fathers) all enabled by the family courts ( and in turn by politicians who are too spineless to stand up to the lobbyists using the "children of divorce" situation for their own financial gain). i was the at home parent for my disabled child on the advice of Doctors as I also shared the disability, and the mother wanted her legal career. But I was turned on by her and other "activists" as they considered our child as the property of the mother and enabled her to commit Domestic violence upon father and child resulting in a deliberate destruction of the bond between my child and I. Get rid of these parasites who use the suffering of children for their own political ends and make it criminal to do so, and then children will have must better outcomes in life and parents can get on with the job of co-parenting..

They sure do, I had a step dad, my mum made it very difficult to see my real Dad. She cheated on him so of course everything was his fault! Give Dads a chance Mums can be so good at not telling the truth. Everybody seems to believe the woman more often than not I have noticed.

Children need loving, caring, responsible men in their lives, who are there for them! If they happen to be their biological fathers, that's great too.

John Anderson is a voice we need

Thank God for John Anderson.

Dr James Masterson talks about this in his book Search for the eal self the way that a healthy father offsets the nurturing energy of the mother and pulls the child out of the sphere of mom so that they can learn to manage in the real world