5 Ways To Heal From Narcissistic Relationships

If a person comes to the realization they are a narcissist, can they change?

I think the worse part about dating a narcissist is that there is literally no accountability on their part. It is so infuriating that they run around causing so much damage and they face zero consequences for it. Then you're left all alone trying to pick up the pieces of yourself. It makes me feel crazy. I dated mine for 2 years...it's been almost 9 months and it still feels like it happened just yesterday. I hate it so much.

A narcissist can really abuse you and then tell everyone you were the abuser after the relationship ends. The lies are infuriating, but you have to remember a person like that does not value telling the truth when it relates to them. They will twist everything to make themselves the hero and everyone else the villain.

My ex has shattered my belief in relationships. I simply cannot imagine being in another one, nor do I have the energy for it.

1. Acknowledge the abuse happened. Write. Share. Speak up. 2. Grieve or mourn the loss. Even abusive relationships are still relationships. Don’t ignore these feelings. Process it. Just don’t do back. 3. Break past patterns. Now. Recognise if you have lousy boundaries, second guess your instincts, codependency etc. This takes time. Do this when you are single. 4. Heal from the trauma. It’s takes time to figure out what happened and heal. Stick with it. Do therapy. 5. Reclaim yourself. Figure out who you are. Say no. Be you. We may not know who we are and what we want. Start small. Don’t ask anyone for their inputs. Build up your confidence slowly with the small stuff and build to the big. Limited or no contact with the Narc.

Something that helped me recover was to remember that in this type of relationship I was never allowed to feel, my feelings, thoughts and concerns were never considered at all. And we all need to have our feelings towards the smallest to the largest situations considered. I don't want to be in a relationship like that again, and won't accept it

It is also worth noting that if we attract narcissists, let them step on us, and we disrespect ourselves, we have most likely been abused and/or neglected in childhood. People with healthy childhoods typically won't disrespect themselves or let others disrespect them for an extended period of time.

I just left a 5 yr relationship with a total narcissist that had me completely fooled, and the grieving part is so real, I miss those amazing moments we shared… it feels like he’s dead. but that doesn’t mean that I don’t realize that only I was in the fairytale, only I was true and committed, he cheated lied and manipulated. I don’t know how I’ll ever love or trust anyone else. All the things I’m uncovering about him now have me completely shocked I’m traumatized and totally broken

u forgot to mention how to deal w the narcissist painting us as the bad guy+crazy person to other people once we leave. when we leave w a broken heart and low self esteem this buffoonery can be rly hard to deal with.

My heart genuinely goes out to anyone who has suffered through a narcissistic relationship of any kind 💔 My experience has been the single most worst experience of my life I think it is important to remember that narcissistic abuse can occur in any kind of relationship or contact you have with an individual.

I would add to be careful with who you talk to about the abuse. They might invalidate your feelings too because they know the person or don't understand how bad it really was. People cannot understand why I don't want any contact with my father, they don't think that's right of me. But please try to trust yourself and your feelings

I just got out of a three year relationship full of abuse and gas lighting. Thank you for this

One of my mistakes was going back to them after things went sour. I learned that this is a classic symptom of a narc/empath relationship. It was hard and painful and I'm still torn up, but this time I let it go sooner than I did in past relationships. 😔 I didn't stick it out as long to give tons of chances like I did in previous relationships. He proved in a very short time that he could not change and I accepted rather than holding on to that shimmer of useless hope forever. It was best for both of us to go our separate ways. Sometimes they apologize but it's shallow and insincere if you get an apology at all. Mostly you will be met with blaming you for most everything and being told some form of "get over it". If it seems sincere then they will simply repeat the behaviors over and over which negate any apology. The best apology is changed behavior but that begins with changed thinking.... And narcs don't think they need to change. YOU need to change ....and they are right. Change your standards and leave them. Never look back.

My ex overcame so many things from her childhood. She never viewed herself as the prettiest but she later became confident. She didn't have the best grades but she rose to the top of her class through hard work. Her parents didn't care too much about her but she learned to care about herself. I was so obsessed with her story that I didn't notice that I was losing my own. She had been through a lot but she was still mean. I'm thankful for the people in my life who told me to walk away cuz I don't think I would have done it without them.

I endured 5 months. I got out. I can’t imagine being in a relationship for much longer. It wrecked me. I’m much better, but it’s been after therapy and a lot of self work to rebuild myself. It has been a little over a year since. It’s awful when people see and know a different person than the one you experienced. Sending love and light for those who have experienced this.

Katie this was what I needed to hear. I was in a relationship like that when I was 19, married him at 20 and divorced at 23. I am going to be 50 this year and it still affects me. Watching your video brought up a lot of emotions. Thank you. Now I know what to talk to my therapist about. I haven’t felt myself for 20 years.

One of the ways to strongly acknowledge abuse (when you are confused) is reminding yourself of the physical damage you got from it. I personally developped insomnia, anxiety and depression, digestive issues, chronic headaches, hormonal imbalances and many other things that plague my daily life. I get gaslighted by the narcs in my life about my health problems, which makes me feel bad and a failure, when they were actually the ones who caused me these issues in the first place. I try to always keep track of all the physical damage so I can keep in check all the abuse I lived through, as I try to ward off all the manipulation of "I don't know what's wrong with you, you're always sick" "I am so cursed and unlucky to have such ill and useless children" statements and passive aggressive attacks that made me feel guilty for years.

From my experience relationships with a narcissist can be some of the most toxic out there. The important thing to realize it’s not your job to make them happy or make them realize they are narcissistic.

Symptoms: Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration. Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it. Exaggerate achievements and talents. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.👍

The hardest part for me has been accepting what I went through with her was traumatic. A lot of the time I ask myself “was any of it really that bad? I know deep down she loves me, so why should I feel so hurt?” And through recent work w my therapist, I’ve been able to slowly accept that the relationship and the trauma are worth working through. Beautiful video, I’m going to come back to this every time I start to really miss her, even though that it’s hard to hear this right now.