Michael Alig & The Freudian Death Drive

Retired prosecutor here, Dr. vdV. I appreciate your take on cases and incidents and thank you for the lessons you provide. Keep up the good work.

I used to be a dancer at Limelight among other clubs and I remember Alig and his crew well. They were so scary to an 18 year old dancer still in high school in Long Island. They were VERY hard core in everything they did, the way they dressed, presented themselves as well a the drugs. They wanted to scare people all while complaining people “ judged@ them. I just went in and did my job and had a blast. Thank god I avoided their drama!

I spent loads of time in NYC clubs in the late 80's just to go dancing. People like Alig are/were so common in that world. So exhausting and comical in their childish need for attention. Warhol was the same.

Alig reached his best high because he was dying. As a neurologist, you're aware of the chemicals that start to flood the brain at that point. It's a feeling some might describe as NIRVANA. Addicts know that they can survive without the drugs. It's like not cleaning your house for a long time. You know you're going to feel great when it's done, but the mere thought of it is overwhelming because you know the process is going to be hell. Coming off of opiates, the first thing you have to deal with is the physical withdrawal, which is like a horrible food poisoning. On top of that, you have all of these feelings that you've been numbing for years that start to bubble up to the surface. At the same time you're having these severe physical symptoms, you're having consecutive repetitive panic attacks. It's as if someone is flipping a switch on/off in your mind from mania to severe depression, every hour on the hour. You feel more exhausted than you've ever felt in your life, but you can't sleep. By day 4, you're usually so sleep-deprived that you have a difficult time separating reality from a dream. This is what addicts face when they think about quitting. They're terrified of it, so they don't. If they're lucky enough, a day will come where they realize their only options are a sickness that leads to healing, or death. I've been clean from opiates for 14 years. I lost my mother and my brother to overdoses. Losing my brother was my wake-up call. To anyone suffering, if you're reading this, you can do it. I got through it with meditation, refocusing, daydreaming, watching movies, writing, drawing, listening to music, and melatonin. I would meditate for an hour before trying to sleep, and I was able to get about 5 hours of sleep each night. Experiment and find out what makes those days easier for you.

I think he looked at his Actual Life as if he was in a movie. As if none of it was real, it was all a performance... It seems like he was completely detached from the reality of what he was experiencing

What an intelligent statement: "Dark humour works to diffuse emotions like fear or sadness. But not remorse." "Dark humour" is not meant to be an aid to people with an interest in committing crimes or cruelty, especially ego driven crimes. Listening to Alig make those comments and then say "just dark humour mate', rings just the same as the frats boys laughing about raping insensibly intoxicated girls and then saying "You just don't get our humour".

Your, like, one sentence description of how each of the Cluster B disorders functions and how they differ is the best I've ever heard it. Please do get to videos just on this topic! 👏

Angel was a good friend of mine, and the way that his murder was made into a joke still angers me. Michael never should have been let free. His nonchalant attitude about the murder is proof of it. He's proud of it and enjoys bragging about Angel's murder.

In my experience, people don't want to die, or even want to get high or drunk. People want to not be in pain, and everything else is just a symptom of that. They may not even be aware that that is the reason for their death impulse or addiction, but deep down, it always comes to pain. That is not an excuse, but it's something that mental health professionals and the judicial system seem to not understand most of the time.

It might be hard for us to understand to the degree that sociopaths do not like people. they have no issues with killing someone they knew, letting the body sit in the house for a week, and dumping it in a river. Then, they'll laugh about dumping the body 20 years ago. They are delighted in their behavior.

I think you nailed his pathology on the head. I used to chat with Ernie Glam, michaels friend and former roommate. He told me that Michael had this tortured quality about him that no matter how successful or how popular or how fabulous he was, there was part of him that would never find happiness and stability and calmness. He was always attracted to the drama and the disarray.

I'm gay and I remember at the time how creeped out I was by these club people. They used to get a lot of attention in certain media and a lot of people were highly amused and fascinated by them, but I found them horrifying. Having observed them, I couldn't help thinking that they were horrible people and I wanted to stay as far away from them as possible.

I'm really looking forward to your Cluster B video. My mom is a classic case. She is a compulsive liar and stole money from me when I was a teenager. She also tried to steal money from my brother. Unfortunately I eventually had to cut off contact with her.

You are so intelligent, Dr van der Vaart. I learn so much from listening to you. This was most interesting. I grew up in the 70's and didn't realize what some of these drugs were and how they were integrated into music. Thank you.

As a person who suffers from BPD, i would really love it if people like you would try to teach the general public a little bit more about what BPD is and how unique it is on every person. There is so much stigma painting us as terrible, irredeemable people. Some of us actively do the work to try to get better... There is a ton of information out there and people don't even realize the difference between BPD and NPD.

Really unique and insightful content on your channel. It sticks out in a sea of YouTube content- I always jump to watch your videos. Thank you!

Now this is quality real crime commentary. Fascinating coherent insights. Thank you. Looking forward to more 😊

Great video on a very interesting subject. Ever since I saw Glory Daze, I have found this topic very compelling. I’ve watched many episodes of Michael’s YouTube channel, The Peeeew. apparently, when Michael and James, St. James were joking about dumping another body in the river, Michael didn’t realize he was miced, or didn’t think the footage would be used, and when James put it in the documentary, Michael was extremely upset with him. He did not want this to go public.

In the late '70s, certain chemicals were flowing all around me, since I hung around with musicians and record company execs. I did partake, since they were offered freely, and I enjoyed the effects of 'c'. It culminated with a friend offering me a snort of 'h', which laid me out on the floor with me head under a coffee table. That one experience was enough for me, and I just stopped using, period. I'd never heard of this...person before the algorhythms suggested this vid. I subscribed and liked about two minutes in. I appreciate your presentation, and the interesting content. Very nice.

Don't forget the dragkid Desmond is amazing is allowed and has been allowed to spend time with this man alone.