Every Steven Spielberg Movie Ranked

My biggest problem with “Lincoln” is that Spielberg omitted all the parts involving him killing vampires.

Spielberg: the person who made you see dinosaurs, aliens, androids, but has also made you see the horror, violence, love and kindness of humanity. Truly one of the gems of cinema history

“You killed my mom’s sister” is an incredible line

Schaff just said: “the PAWsibilities are endless” CLEARLY he is gearing up for a Paw Patrol review in the near futute

The only bad thing about Jaws is it single handedly caused the near extinction of many shark species worldwide, since people began to fear and hunt them on mass after the film was made. Fun fact, the guy who wrote the original novel actually dedicated the rest of his life to shark conservation, and played a major role in reversing the damage done by the film.

There's a famous story between Spielberg and John Williams doing Schindler's List. When Spielberg first showed John the rough cut of the movie so he could start composing for it, John had to stop and go out for a walk to process what he'd just seen. He came back and told Spielberg he couldn't do it. That movie needed a better composer than him to do the job right. Spielberg's response was "I know, but they're all dead."

You know The BFG left little to no impression of Schaff, if the presence of Tamatoa's voice actor Jemaine Clement as the main villain giant was never even hinted at.

It’s a shame Schafrillas didn’t watch War Horse with the subtitles on. When the horse is trapped with the tank, he would’ve gotten the hilarious “[Defiant whinnying]”

It’s wholesome, yet heartbreaking that when Steven Spielberg was making Schindler’s List, he called Robin Williams many times, just so he could laugh. That’s shows you how powerful is movie not only is, but the hands that made it.

The fact that Spielberg made Jurassic Park and Schindlers List in the same year is absolutely insane. That’s gotta be the hardest flex a every made by a filmmaker in all of human history right? I literally can’t think of another time where a big director made one of the best films ever made, and then turned around and made what could be THE best film ever made in less than 7 months. That’s just cracked.

TIMESTAMPS: 34) Always 2:49 33) 1941 9:24 32) The BFG 11:40 31) Ready Player One 13:51 30) The Lost World 20:16 29) War Horse 26:50 28) Lincoln 31:11 27) Hook 35:34 26) Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 39:50 25) The Sugarland Express 47:53 24) Bridge of Spies 49:21 23) Amistad 51:10 22) Temple of Doom 54:21 21) Empire of the Sun 1:03:52 20) E.T. 1:07:06 19) West Side Story 1:11:18 18) Jaws 1:15:34 17) The Color Purple 1:18:41 16) Munich 1:20:08 [Surfshark VPN] 1:21:53 15) Duel 1:23:27 14) War of the Worlds 1:25:35 13) The Adventures of Tintin 1:29:45 12) Raiders of the Lost Ark 1:34:27 11) Close Encounters of the Third Kind 1:40:44 10) The Terminal 1:43:14 9) Catch Me If You Can 1:46:23 8) The Post 1:48:24 7) The Fabelmans 1:54:07 6) Artificial Intelligence 2:00:09 5) Minority Report 2:06:37 4) Jurassic Park 2:11:47 3) The Last Crusade 2:18:05 2) Saving Private Ryan 2:25:59 1) Schindler’s List 2:30:03

In Temple of Doom, the dinner scene is supposed to be a joke that wasn’t taken far enough according to Chatter Lal’s actor. Basically the Indian people were eating that because that’s what the outsiders expected them to eat and they were doing it to make the outsiders uncomfortable. If you watch it with that frame of reference, it definitely does feel like the Indian characters were in on the joke, cuz each dish has a guy say the name with a shit eating grin, clearly knowing that the main characters are uncomfortable. Idk it’s not like the best scene with that in mind but it does make it better.

Steven Spielberg's mother opened a kosher restaurant that's a delightful mix of typical restaurant and memorabilia from her son's movies. She would frequently sit at random tables and chat with customers, and I was lucky enough as a kid to have the chance to talk with her. She was incredibly friendly, and it was clear how proud she was of her son's work as his mother, not for merchandising. If you're in LA and like Spielberg I would recommend stopping in!

Fun fact: My great grandfather fought on D day, and they said that saving private Ryan was the most accurate depiction they’d ever seen of that battle, and they were speechless when watching the rest of the film.

I would love seeing Schaf ranking the Ridley Scott movies, he is one of the most divisive in quality directors of all time. Sometimes he makes a classic, sometimes don't and other times he does a bread commercial. Truly a legend! Oh, and M. Night would be fun too, especially his "adaptation" of The Last Airbender😁

I watched A.I. in a filmography class that I was taking because I was told it was an easy credit. It devastated me. I couldn't pull myself away from the movie and despite the "off" feeling of the whole thing, I felt myself shuddering at the depiction of the passage of time, the discussions of love and what it means to be human. I cannot express how profoundly it altered my view of the world. It was my first time really delving into these themes and I have been in love with them ever since.

Let’s not overlook how John Williams has made almost every Spielberg movie infinitely more legendary

One thing I wanna point out, Lincoln saying “I guess it’s time to go though I would rather stay” actually happened. He said that to his white house staff right before leaving for the Ford’s Theater.

Having Jaws so low is a crime. WAY better than most of the films ahead of it on this list. The second half is just as engaging.

So you’re telling me I sat through a movies-worth of time just to realize Steven Spielberg was a WRITER for Goonies, not the DIRECTOR and because of that wasn’t included in this list? Damn 😔