LOVE INTERESTS - Terrible Writing Advice

Remember kids, if a male character and a female character breathe the same air for 0.2 seconds then they're destined to be together.

I love how much of a subversion Fiona is to this trope. People meme Shrek so much they forget that it's actually a really well written movie

Welcome to girls' romance novels drinking game! Take a shot everytime: - they start out hating each other - he's a tease - he's a rich boy with daddy issues - she's supposed to be strong and independent but... - she describes his eyes for waaaaay too long - he's a bad boy but has a soft side that he only shows to her - he's got emotional baggage - there's a blonde love rival and/or bully - he's possesive - he's doing something creepy but everyone acts like it's something totally normal - she thinks of herself as plain and average but everyone talks about how special she is - she's 16 - he's the most popular guy in school - Mary Sue and/or Larry Stu - she's so clumsy and silly - she's not like other girls - he's got huuuuuge abs - it's a highschool/dystopian future - there's a misunderstanding - he says something along the lines of "when I'm with you, I can't control myself" - he's a supernatural creature

"I'm offended!" "I'm offended that you're offended!" Twitter in a nutshell.

You don't even NEED relationships in a story because the fan base will do that for you!

“Let’s kiss in the middle of the battle and possibly get everyone killed.” Everyone apparently

Wanna quickly solve a love-triangle? Make two of the characters secretly related and have them find out about it!

"The worst she will endure is the villain might force her to marry him" SAO laughing in the distance

Okay, the real question: How does a writer who has never had a love interest or relationship, write one?

Dude... Damsel in distress becoming a villain after being kidnapped sounds like an awesome twist :D

If she ain't a white straight thin smart yet helpless woman she AIN'T the love interest

My pet peeve in any romantic plot: "We interrupt this program for the two love interests to have a make out session, even though people are literally f**** dying out there."

Here's an idea for next Terrible Writing Advice: Parents. There are a lot of over used parent tropes like the nincompoop dad, the nagging mother, the dead parents, the close minded/prejudice parent, etc.

"You could replace the love interest with a briefcase and the story wouldn't be any different!" Well, except for the out of place sex scene between the protagonist and the love interest. That would certainly be.... different if you made that change.

To be fair, the "Villain marrying the Distress Damsel" trope has a lot more play in fantasy/historical tropes involving royalty. Oftentimes the villain is more interested in acquiring the heroine's power, title and land, and sex with her is just a bonus.

I need a story where the Dark Lord kidnaps the love interest, and while the hero is on a quest to save her, the Dark Lord and the love interest realize they have a ton in common, fall in love, and oppose the hero together at the climax, much to the hero’s horror/confusion.

You left out the pointless argument or misunderstanding cliche. Why have a relationship grow organically, when a pointless fight will do?

I think you forgot The Misunderstanding. The ultimate plotstopper in any romantic plot!

How you should make love interests: 1. Personality to make the character feel real 2. Reason why the character should like another character 3. Reasonable backstory or character development to fit character's behavior How people sometimes end up making a love interest: 1. "I dON'T nEeD a mAN"

Romance is my least favorite thing in the world... but now I'm questioning if maybe... that's just because bad romance is the only thing I've ever seen written.