Podcast #9 ~ Mental Health & Dealing with Stress

Hi I’m a builder for 20 odd years and I’ve just sold all my tools cause I’m struggling with depression I don’t want to give up but I just can’t see any other way watching this has made me realise I’m not alone and will seek help and hopefully rebut new tools and start again

I'm a GP in the NHS and it is interesting just how few self employed people come along to see me with anxiety or depression compared with the number of people I see who are employed. I guess there are a few reasons - one reason is that a sick line is of little benefit to someone who is self employed, another is that self employed people have a different ethos and take way less sick time because they dont earn money when off. Women see the doctor about mental health problems a lot more readily than men do. Men need to seek help more. We use mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and medication to help.

welldone boys..a very important subject that is not openly talked about enough,esspecialy in the very masqline ego driven building industry..ive been a carpenter for 27 years and ive got my own experiance of poor mental health..i turned to drugs and alchol to try and cope with the day to day.it worked for a very samll amount of time but bit me on the arse..heroin and cocaine addiction,injecting,snorting,swollowing and drinking anything i could get my hands on..ended up on the streets.prison,countless court cases and programs,probation,mental health hospitals and all the rest of the chaos..ive learnt that the biggest tool that i own is my mouth and my willingness to reach out,with out shame and talk with like minded people..today i am almost 13 years clean and sober,i run two buissnesses,one carpentry and a catering truck,selling fresh juices and smoothies,currys,falafals and the like at festivals..and yes i couldnt agree more,exercise is a real game changer for taking care of my mental health. once again,thanks a lot for this great channel boys,its a fantastic resourse,

Very good topic to talk about. I’m a self employed plasterer and I’m getting over a serious bout of anxiety and depression. I took 6 months off work (thankfully we had savings) and I’m currently on antidepressants. They have seriously got me out of the hole I was in. I literally couldn’t move out of bed at one point and it all came out the blue, that was the scary part. The main thing that’s helped me is not only exercise but eating well. Getting your meat and veg in and eating fruit is a life saver, quite literally. If any one sees this then I’ll just say this. Keep talking and don’t bottle things up. Life’s not all about the big bucks, it’s about enjoying the simple things in life, like the sunrise, the morning walk with the dog, the birds whistling in the morning. As long as ends are being met and you’ve got food on the table then you’re doing well. Take care everyone.

Thought process is key. I tell myself every morning, today is going to be a good day, regardless what happens.

How to deal with stress - Feet up, YouTube on, Skill Builder videos on autoplay. Well done lads.👍

Issues with being self employed: 1. Paying the bills 2. Not knowing if your gonna have enough work 3. No pension 4. Narky customers 5. Trying your best (and doing a great job) but not being appreciated for it 6. Customer believing it’s 100% your fault when it isn’t 7. The worry when your customer hasn’t paid after a week (or more). You question if they’re happy with the work. 8. Relying on other tradesmen 9. Other trades not doing their job properly making your work much harder 10. Jobsworth building inspectors 11. Desperate for a crap but don’t wanna disturb the household, but go anyway and you know it’s gonna stink 12. Accidental water leaks 13. You think you’ve got the house waterproof mid job but 2am you get a text from the customer saying water is dripping on their heads 14. Keeping things clean 15. On call all the time 16. Sorting out your tax 17. Worry of customers dealing with the upset of the project: dust, intrusion of privacy etc 18. Dealing with customer psychology 19. Trying to understand individual customer etiquette. People have different expectations. 20. Dealing with job extras. You give them a price but you have extras to do. You don’t do it for free. And so on... Apart from that, it’s quite enjoyable... 👍🏻

After watching this i feel like i just want to give Roger and Robin the biggest hug. I never thought skillbuilder would make me emotional, but i say that in a nice way, because just from these two gentlemen making this video, could very well help someone with this problem. Thank you Skillbuilder, and all of you i wish you a beautiful bank holiday.

Important subject Very well covered👍

Started having panic attacks age 40ish. Feel fine now. What worked for me... - Found a few new hobbies - Found a better place to live - Stopped drinking spirits - Stopped smoking - Got more spiritual - Ate better food (less carbs more plant based greens etc) - Got more Exercise - Lost some negative friends - More quality time with family - Lost weight - Focussed the career on enjoyable stuff (say no to the crap work) - Sold stuff I didn't need - More positive music

I was self employed most of life but ended up spending too much time in isolation either in my workshop or on my own on jobs .went into teaching woodwork and changed my life ,

A video that's going to be uncomfortable for some, but essential for others. Well done guys. I'll be brief but I was involved in a near fatal non-fault traffic accident a few years ago. Shattered pelvis, hip, leg (nearly amputated), lost 80% blood, etc. Air Ambulance, 25 hours of surgery, wheelchair/crutches for 18 months and so on. My point is that I denied it was happening to me for the 1st year, acted like an observer and that was my worst mistake. Eventually started having panic attacks and depression. Was told by then GF, who had to be my carer for 5 months, that I needed help. I got it, it was worse than having teeth pulled but in the long run it was the right move. After a lot of sessions came off anti-depressants and got my head sorted. Takes guts to deal with an invisible problems and you will be proud of yourself afterwards, doesn't matter that most people will never see what you've overcome. Hope that helps some people.

Cheers boys. I’m in it right now. 2 very young kids, busy work days, a home I’m still pulling together and few things not gone my way recently. I Really can’t figure out where I get any time for myself. Nice to hear you boys talk about this and reading the comments from tons of people been through it. Helps me see there’s that light somewhere down the road. Appreciate this.

Non epileptic attack disorder. 10 years ago I crashed my van into the back of someone at some traffic lights. They pulled off the road and when the lights changed I carried on oblivious. Didn't notice the huge dent in the front grille and bumper til later and thought that it was the bloke who tailed me for 3 miles across Sheffield flashing his lights at me, who I lost at another junction, but he somehow managed to again catch up with me. I reported this vicious attack on my van to the police. Next day, I crashed it into a lamp-post. Two sparkies noticed and came rushing over. I said summat like "eh up lads. What's the rush? At least let's gerra brew on 1st!" "You've just hit that lamp post", which was leaning at around 30 degrees. Again I was utterly oblivious of hitting it, but then the penny dropped. I called the cops. Insisted that they attend asap. I asked them to breath test me. Blew a neg. I made a statement (witnessed by the sparkies) They made corroborating statements. I told the officer that it may have been likely that I had been in an accident the previous day and gave them the crime report number given to me that I had presumably, mistakenly reported. The officer was not even aware of this previous incident at this time. 2 days later, same officer came to my house. He informed me that they were not prosecuting, given the evidence of the sparkies and after consulting the bloke whose car I had hit. He said something to the effect that he couldn't understand why I had driven away either. Officer asked me but asked me to surrender my... already had it to hand and surrendered my license to him. I was referred by my GP to Sheffield Hallamshire neurological dept. Wife went along with me. During the initial consultation, guess what happened? The Dr.s face, when I regained my senses (no jokes yet please) was a picture of gobsmackedness. He referred me to a senior consultant, Prof. Marcus Reuber based in the same department for further investigations. My first lucky break. Prof. Reuber is a world leading authority in research into NEAD. EEG and MRI scans were inconclusive. The most likely reason as to why I was suffering (yes suffering not "experiencing") was STRESS. Put on anti-deprssants and epilepsy meds. I was then refereed to the psych department. After the 1st or 2nd consultation the psych told me to take out my phone and delete every customer for whom I had worked that had messed me around, been ungrateful or who had exploited my eagerness and goodwill. Same with my desk diary contact log-book. thick black lines, delete delete delete. "Do not answer the phone to anyone unless you know who it is. Don't call back unless you receive a voicemail.. who are you, who did you get my number off, where do you live, what do you want. If it's an arsehole (her words..not mine) call back and lie.. you're too busy. If this does not work out you really need to consider not being self employed. Find something meaningful to do in your life, because you have no life, you have allowed yourself to become enslaved" I didn't have an option in the meantime..having no driving license. I had to find 2 part time jobs and take on a third job at Christmas. Shank's pony and bus, obviously. Suffice to say I had resolved to find time to read, listen to music, go climbing, engage with people outside of work and trawl through you-tube for comedy classics. Now, 7 years on seizure free and off meds. Picking for whom I choose to work (except the missus) stoically and resolutely sticking to the advice given, I am in a better place. (my garage conversion, man cave, safe space typing out this bollocks (to anyone still reading)away from the wife's nagging) 50 hrs a week max. That block paved driveway she wants, will have to wait. On a serious note. When MP Philip Davies asked a house committee on men's mental health issues into the possibility of raising a debate on men's mental health particularly higher suicide rates, I do not think that it was Helpful Of MP Jess Philips to laugh at the issue. Jess Philips. I wouldn't even debate her. Link supplied. Notice her reaction at 15 seconds in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRWUsn4yyJI If anyone is still reading this, I will be posting another glib comment. I am not trolling. I am just being silly. Sometimes that in itself is the best medicine.

I choose my clients carefully, if I get the feeling they are going to drive me crazy, I think to myself the money I’ll earn from the job doesn’t matter as it won’t buy my sanity back!

Happened to me last year . Worked by myself for years and found myself in a bit of a pickle, and I almost ended it !! Family and friends got me back on track and let me know that I was important to them and thing's get better. My advise would be speak to people !!

I used to be in the alarm game from a 16 year old apprentice, it was a medium size company that do high end security. In the end as I preferred service i was on 4-8 jobs a day in and around London with callouts after that ending up anywhere at the end of the day. The money was good and I did enjoy being at the top of my game but it was affecting my health and home life, my partner left me along with our son. I can't blame this all on the job of course. I now have a much more relaxed job as a site manager, this job change has made me a different and much happier person. If anyones job is affecting their home life, seriously evaluate and see if you can find a less stressful one or field that doesn't take its toll on you and hence your family as much. It might not be everyones answer as most good jobs are hard to come by but I've learnt the hard way its not worth running yourself into the ground at the expense of your family or health. It could just mean switching companies for a happier life, if you have the experience then there's never much to lose if it is making you unhappy all the time.

Brilliant app called headspace to help with mental health through meditation and reconnecting with your brain and your thought path for anyone struggling to cope, which let’s be honest is everyone who's self employed in this game.

Yes,that's the key Roger,not always possible but when ever possible always surround yourself with like minded people!

My father's story exactly, he's been in tiles for 30 years now. Your videos makes me wanna enter that business after the faculty as well! Keep the good work (and) videos on guys. And thank you!