Eric Cartman Orders Pizza

This isn’t the first time Cartman has canonically turned someone into a meal

reality bends to my authoritah

No matter what ending you choose, it’s just gonna end with Kenny being dead

I love how Kenny just randomly appears then explodes as to follow the criteria of “Kenny must die at least once every episode”

As a 90s kid, you nailed the obscure creepiness of late-night cartoons of the era

THE FRAMING OF THE LIGHT AND WORDS “PIZZA FACTORY” BEHIND HIM WHEN HE COMES OUT OF THE PHONE IS EXCELLENT

"I'm afraid we don't serve that here." Eric's eyes grew wide with outrage, his blood boiling as he felt the demonic, primal energy awaken within him once more. He feared this power of his, but then again, he also welcomed it. With a roar of malice, the plump child howled out a deafening command. "RESPECT MEH ATHORITEY!"

That pizza sounds good, it’s got: -Thick crust flavors -Tomato delicious -Cheese of the dinner

I love how it slowly plays and gradually speeds up the South Park theme song as he spins XD

I can tell why his friends didn’t came. He would perish them easily...

This is actually something Cartman would do, he’s ruined lives over less petty shit before.

2:00 IM the bastard 😭

I love my pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious, and cheese of the dinner. Truly a masterpiece.

This actually feels like a real South Park episode, just more surreal.

The sped up gibberish that plays when Eric turns the guy into pizza is actually a sped up version of the South Park theme. Nice touch!

"what would you like to put in your mouth today" got me cracking up

Bad ending 1: enter the phone and turn the pizza guy into a pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious, and cheese of the dinner. Bad ending 2: input zippa instead of pizza and puke zippers for all of eternity. Bad ending 3: threaten the pizza guy once you’ve gone through the phone and get arrested for disrespecting your higher ups and impersonating authority. Bad ending 4: forget your order and just get a 5 lengths pizza (instead of an 8 lengths pizza) with thin crust tastes, tomato scrumptious, and cheese relative to the lunches. Bad ending 5: take the offer of a kiddie meal, but the toy consumes you and exclaims their plans for world domination. Bad ending 6: decide to not have dinner at all and end up as a pile of bones 4 minutes later. Bad ending 7: spend exactly 6 hours, 43 minutes, 14 seconds and 65 milliseconds deciding what to have and implode due to having such a hard time deciding. Bad ending 8: break the remote after being told that you can’t have a pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious and cheese of the dinner. Bad ending 9: eat the phone because you can’t bother ordering anything, choke on it, and die. Bad ending 10: fail to transform the pizza guy and instead form a pizza tornado out of the essence of a pizza place and the sheer rotational velocity of yourself. Bad ending 11: change the channel 6 times and get an ad for an you plush for 4.99 per kilo, then turn into the plush. Bad ending 12: get ending 6 and tap on Kenny’s corpse to which you’ll be transported to the church where Jesus comes down from heaven to personally smite the demon that is Eric Cartman. Bad ending 13: when the pizza guy asks “what can we put in your mouth today?” Say “A sausage pizza, but hold the pizza.” Then hang up and laugh so hard that you explode into a pile of guts and organs. Bad ending 14: fart just as you are about to order and hang up in embarrassment. Bad ending 15: put the transformed pizza guy in the fire instead of your mouth. This does the same thing as bad ending 1 but this time you get no pizza. Bad ending 16: get ending 14, notice that Kenny is facing the floor this time at the end screen. Tap on him and he’ll fart as well. Then the ending number of 14 slowly turns into the ending number of 16. Bad ending 17: Tap on Eric Cartman as he’s about the order and he’ll find you as better meal. Bad ending 18: get ending 8 and slide the 8 over slightly to reveal a 1 which makes it an 18. This is technically the only bad ending where Kenny doesn’t die. Bad ending 19: switch off the lamp at the beginning to reveal that Eric Cartman is actually a huge potato. An announcer will then say “couch potato” and an audience laugh sound will be played. Bad ending 20: when the camera does the weird zoom thing, tap and hold to keep the zoom going until everything becomes a 1 dimensional void. Bad ending 21: Tap on the pizza before it is eaten and it becomes a poisonous pizza to which Eric Cartman will eat it and die of lead poisoning. Bad ending 22: Get lucky and the pizza guy will actually have a pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious and cheese of the dinner. But you forgot to order it boneless. Good ending: Get lucky and the pizza guy will actually have a pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious and cheese of the dinner. Before ordering, tell Eric Cartman to order it boneless and he will do so. Finally, you get to have your pizza with thick crust flavours, tomato delicious and cheese of the dinner without any bones. Secret ending: wait on the start menu and Eric will get frustrated and say “screw you guys, I’m outta here!” As he exits the lounge room.

I like to imagine that Cartman has different phones for different foods.

The worst part is that this is totally in-character for him.

1:47 sCreW yoU GuYs iM gOinG hOmE