The Link Between Personal Style and Identity | Molly Bingaman | TEDxUMKC
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Published 2021-01-11
Through merging the language of design with elements from math and physics, she and her team of experts have created a radical new approach to styling which teaches clients to choose the clothes, hairstyle, and makeup that best represent who they are. The Ladybird method has given hundreds of women the tools to show up authentically in their wardrobes and in their lives. It has been thoroughly tested, it works every time, and is completely teachable.
Molly has a BA in Fine Art from Westmont College in Santa Barbara, CA and was trained by Stacy London of TLC’s What Not to Wear. Her work has been featured in Design*Sponge and Good Housekeeping Magazine as well as many other local publications. She is married and lives in Kanas City, MO with her husband and perfect dog, Piccollo. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
All Comments (21)
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I had a teacher for Glas pearl making at vocational school, who once said :"Jewelry is not a luxury requirement. It is a basic requirement. Because people in all cultures, no matter how poor they might be, are making and wearing jewelry. Even if you only have some blades of Gras to work with. It seems to be a basic need for humans to decorate themselves as an expression of self valuing."
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Three years ago, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't buy any piece of clothing that I didn't absolutely love. It changed my clothing game forever. I didn't get rid of any of my old clothes, I just added only things I loved. And my closet has morphed into something that actually makes me happy. It's a place where I can always find something that I enjoy and feel good in. I also don't allow myself to wear clothing that is uncomfortable. Pain is not beauty, it's actually the opposite. If it hurts me, it hurts the way I feel which hurts my appearance. Like you said, beauty is authenticity. I could pretend I'm not hurting, but that isn't authentic. Give yourself permission to be comfortable above all else.
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“The question is not whether you have style, it’s if it’s being expressed.” This could be applied to many things: creativity, compassion, intelligence, humor, etc. What a fun talk.
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I wish more people would see this. In the world of "influencers" a lot of us is vulnerable to losing our own sense of individuality. A lot of us become depress just because we become insecure for not being and looking like someone else, but in reality we just need to find and discover our own "Authentic self" .
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The idea of people dressing to feel seen is so awesome. I always heard the narrative that it's vanity.
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There's no way you could possibly know this, but this video has given me the first sense of relief I've felt in about 18 months. Little did I realise how much my life doesn't match the quadrant I fit in. Thanks to a job change and the pandemic I have been living a life that is the opposite of what I really need. This little video has opened my eyes to that and i feel a sense of hope again. Thank you.
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Wow she turned style into a spiritual right of passage. I love this!
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Thank you, I needed to hear this. I was a thin, attractive, vivacious young girl in school, who later in life became overweight and started dressing so nobody would see me, in baggy, drab clothes. I missed my pastels, vintage clothing, and crazy color mixes, but I felt I would look ridiculous as an older, heavier woman dressing like that. I think I should stop caring what others think and dress as my authentic self again. Thank you.
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What a provocative, thoughtful and timely Talk. Trying to return to the “real” world after substantial medical treatment for Stage 3 cancer during covid. What IS my style now? I felt I was a vibrant woman prior to surgery, chemo, and radiation, which I believe dissolved my femininity. Your orchestra comparison was encouraging food for thought and it’s imperative I find my re-entry to my new, real, “normal” universe. I DO feel invisible and I used to feel attractive and receive vibes that confirmed others thought so too. A brand new world…. Thank you for offering a refreshing perspective! May the journey begin 🙏🏻. Feeling hopeful and grateful regardless of statistical odds! I will embrace a place in your style orchestra 💃🎶😳
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My hubby does’t criticize what I wear exactly, but only gives me compliments when I wear neutral/minimal looks. My style was “eclectic” and was usually fun and bold. But lately I find myself putting on more neutral and simple pieces. Which is fine, once in a while, but I do feel like I’ve lost my mojo. I’ve also gained a lot of weight these past few years and consequently lost my body confidence and wanted to “hide”. This advice really helps to open my eyes. I was so confused with my style direction these past few years (I didn’t used to be) and now I understand why and can work towards expressing my authentic self again! Thank you!!!
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The lady in the second story needs to put that pink blazer back on and find a new husband. Self expression is everything!
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Watching this in a Costco dress from a thrift store. It has pockets. It is a warrior.
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I love that this was very catered and personal, not just ‘Style for your body shape’, because it is a form of self expression that can’t be limited to a physical quality. I’m really glad I came across this! And what a profound story at the end. Moved me emotionally.
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This was like an amazing therapy session for me! Molly's presentation was so well done because she didn't sound like she was "public speaking." Her message was articulated in a tone and manner that felt real, and that resonated with me more than I expected it would. I have a lot of shame around my desire to be pretty--so I do not allow myself to take the time and effort to look good. Molly has expressed what I've always wanted to hear--that it is acceptable and even preferable to Just Be Myself, in all areas of my life, including my personal style. Instead of feeling vain (and therefore ashamed) I can feel authentic. What a positive reframe! THANK YOU Molly!
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And this is how I end up watching 1-2 hours of YouTube recommended videos! The stories the speaker shared about two of her clients were really insightful. One of the best Ted Talks I’ve come across.
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Man, that last part was heartbreaking. I would have liked to hear more about other people's effect on our self image but I guess that's beyond the scope here. And frankly, I bet this lady sees that all the time.
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Authenticity is universally attractive!!! Love that.
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Wow. Her husband gave her a gift card, and took it right back. :-( Thank you. I'm one of those people who stopped trying to be seen, but then I met someone who saw me, and I blossomed. Lately, I've been experimenting with style, and having a lot of fun with my clothes.
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Admittedly, this made me cry. Even when I dress with purpose and confidence, my trouble showing up, makes me question it all the same. Now I will continue to build off that, instead of shaming myself for not dressing ‘high fashion’ Thank you.
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It feels so good to be seen and understood. Liberating, validating, empowering. But to go unseen--or, worse, to be "seen" in a way that isn't you--can make you feel like you're being slowly hollowed out.
