Why Marrying Serana in Skyrim is a Bad Idea

I still think that Serana is just the perfect wife/girlfriend for a Dragonborn. In this video, I can only agree with one statement - she needs time, that's right. But the fact that she did not show any interest in the Dragonborn in terms of romance is not true. In the game it can be noticed, but not so often. Even when Serana refuses marriage, she does not deny having feelings for Dovakin. One of the options for her answers: "Listen, I like you and I'll go anywhere with you, but it's not for me." Yes, at the moment she is not ready for marriage, she needs time. Dovakin will be by her side and give her this time, help her, support her. Serana has been through a lot, but she is a strong character, she will cope with her past. Vampirism can be cured, and I am inclined to believe that she will do so in the end, because she was turned against her will, and now she will make her choice. This will be her step towards a new life, where she will be able to open up to new things, including marriage. But even if there is no marriage, what prevents Dovakin and Serana from loving each other outside of marriage? Nothing. And all that it says there is only platonic relationships and so on, I just laugh at such people.

Whilst Serana does sometimes flirt with the player as stated by some rando's here, you're right that marrying her is a bad idea. The character as seen in Dawnguard really needs that time to heal, being pressured into marriage by her best friend would not be a good thing, bethesda did the right thing, for once.

Saying that Serana never flirts or doesn't hint at a romanntic interest towards to player is inaccurate. Sure, it doesn't happen often, and in some playthroughs those types of interactions may not happen. Player: What do you know about the Elder Scrolls? Serana: mean... as much as anyone. Not a lot. You'd figure a couple hundred years locked away with one would have given me some insights, but no. Turns out you don't learn much from just sleeping with something. Player: Are you saying you want to learn more about me? Serana: Not at this rate, no. (or) I guess you'll never get to find out. "I guess you'll never get to find out" literally has script notes in the creation kit labeling it as "this is flirty, not dismissive". There are script notes for the scene right before entering the Soul Cairn (assuming you didn't pick any of the neutral or rude dialogue options) indicating how she's "pleased the player agrees" (if you choose to turn into a vampire) or how she's "happy she made a connection" with the player (if you choose to get soul trapped). There's also a dialogue branch called "DLC1NPCMentalModelAdulteryZOMG". Basically what this branch does is allow you to ask Serana to marry you even if you're already married. And depending on what you told her earlier when she asked you about your family, she'll either respond with disgust/anger (seems to happen if you told her you were happy or unhappy in the marriage) Or, she'll respond with sadness "You're sweet to say that, but you need to sort things out on your own. It's not something I'm going to get involved with." Even the some lines of the marriage addressal branch indicate less of a flatout rejection or more of her trepidation at the concept of a formal marriage. In other words, her saying things like "Look, I care about you. A lot. And I'll come with you wherever you want to go. But... with everything in my past, I don't think I could bring myself to go into a temple and ask for that kind of blessing. It's just... it's not for me." makes it sound more like because of her past, she believes she doesn't deserve to be married... not that she isn't interested in the player in a more than platonic way. Also, there's the fact that she's uniquely referred to as a romanticfollower in the CK. She's the only one with that handle. If you spent any time looking at this character in depth in the Creation Kit, it becomes obvious that Bethesda most likely intended for her to be romancable (albeit maybe not in the mara preserve our marriage way) but possibly had to scrap it due to time constraints. All this being said, I don't appreciate the mods that force a marriage on her in a completely unnatural way. Say what you want about this mod, but IMO SDA handles it the best especially in regards to how it addresses her trauma and helps her move past that. (Earlier versions weren't great, but it got better overtime with feedback.)

Maybe but Valerica is still very much in play especially after you deal with Harkon.

Actually, she always flirts. One of her best (and constantly repeated) lines is: "I thought you'd never ask" when you invite her to follow you. Another one, even more flirty, is: "I knew you would miss me". She also has an early flirty remark in the sense that one doesn't get to know anything or anyone by just sleeping with it/them. She says that while she speaks about her Elder Scroll but the remark has a double entendre in it and the Dragonborn is allowed to ask her if she wants to sleep with them. Of course, she says no... but she remains a flirt, even a teaser.

I do agree that it makes sense for Serana to desire independence and platonic relationships given her background, and there's certainly nothing wrong with a pretty platonic follower. That being said, I can't agree with the arguments for Serana's marriage being impractical. Vanilla Skyrim gives the player options to both join Serana in vampirism (as a pureblood via her father, Serana herself, or as a common vampire via any other vampire NPC in the game) or to have her join the Dragonborn in mortality (via the cure dialogue options), both of which render the practicality discussion moot. Even for those players that ignore all these vanilla options, a vampire / mortal relationship is not an unworkable one, as seen by the game allowing the Dragonborn to marry non-vampire NPCs while being (or becoming) a vampire themselves. Each of the individual objections is also undercut either by gameplay or lore. For vampires not being able to conceive children and being forced to rely on adoption...that's the same for literally every marriageable NPC in the game, going off of vanilla gameplay which only allows children by adoption. Maybe this is simply a mechanical limit, or maybe it's the game hinting that the Dragonborn themselves is unable to have children naturally (this would certainly reinforce the idea of them being the Last Dragonborn, since they would be unable to pass on their dragon blood to natural-born children as did Tiber Septim or Alessia). In either case, it's not a problem unique to a vampire / mortal match in Skyrim, and thus not really an obstacle to their union. Dietary conflicts are also overstated. The lore does establish that vampires can eat normal food, though they cannot survive off of it alone and thus prefer raw meats and other food that provides some form of the blood they need to survive. This doesn't make the kitchen useless, but it does mean there's going to be something different and potentially off-putting in it. But that isn't a unique or deal-breaking problem, at least according to the game's own logic. It allows the Dragonborn to marry ordinary people just fine while using Namira's ring, being a Wood Elf, or being a vampire, even though these would introduce similar dietary complications. It also provides the Bosmer Faendal and Imperial Camilla as a possible vanilla NPC couple, meaning that having strange meat in the cupboard isn't necessarily a deal-breaker in the lore. As for safety concerns requiring wearing armor to bed, Serana herself shows this isn't true. Depending on your quest choices, she may spend nearly all her time day and night hanging out with a mortal Dragonborn (and possibly another mortal follower), as well as being around all the mortals in the Dawnguard — and in all that time she never once has to be pried off somebody's armored neck for losing control of her thirst in the middle of the night. Vampires are perfectly capable of controlling themselves and any relationship that's built up enough trust for marriage and romance to even be a possibility should also be a relationship where the mortal doesn't have to worry about the vampire snacking on them while they sleep (unless it's consensual: we don't judge). The only real problem that would remain is the vampire's immortality and the mortal's limited lifespan, but since the game and lore have mortal men and immortal mer marrying each other, this isn't seen as an insurmountable problem either.

Yes I do agree she needs time, when you have a childhood like hers you would need time to recover, but she never really denied having feelings for the Dragonborn and really you forgot to mention that you can just cure her in the game if you’ve chosen the dawnguard, you don’t need mods or cheats when it’s literally an option. And getting her cured will fix the “she’s a vampire so you can’t marry her” argument.

Nah, she flirt a lot with us, she is clearly into our character. Her only issue is the ceremonial because of very good reasons. With mods like SDA, we can help her deal with it and develop what the writters already shows. Marrying Serana is the best thing I did in Skyrim. She turns back to human just because she wanted to grow old with me, she is a loving loyal woman. And since I'm done questing, we live happy with children. The end, best ending ever.

No one asked you. I will marry Serana all that I want.

what if your character is a wood elf who also is a vampire

I've been using the SDA mod for years to marry Serana as a Vampire Lord. Have a nice house outside Whiterun with four daughters, Inigo, Remiel & Lydia and I find it incredibly rewarding. The mod doesn't make her interact with the kids, which is sad, but Uncle Inigo always does. Serana will always be my little vampire wifey. In my headcanon, I've given her a wonderful family and very close friends, and all the love and support she could ever need to heal. Eternity with her? Very appealing. As "Thane of Everywhere", slayer of the Dawnguard, Harkon, Alduin & Miraak, Legate, Arch-Marge, Harbinger, Listener, Guildmaster, and yes even a "bard", I approve this message.

No the reason there is no romance here is because most of the time Bethesda is to lazy to inplement romance or proper marriage mechanics in their games specially when you compare it to boulders gate 3

Of course, not forcing her into marriage is the right thing to do but marrying her does not break roleplay. She can be cured of vampirism or you can become a vampire, both options are legitimate in the game. Conceiving children is not an option for any vanilla spouse, so the Dragonborn family always adopts kids. Alas, this means the Last Dragonborn doesn't establish a dynasty based on blood but well, life sometimes offers lemons.

From a strictly role-playing perspective, I can see your point. However, if you just wanna play and have fun, in which I do I play with a slightly modded game. I have a few Serana mods, namely Seranaholic with the new voice add-ons. After we defeated Harkon and take her on her date, she proposes to the Dragonborn in a simple ceremony. Then we go back to the soul Carion, and inform Valaria, after she returns to the castle, I was able to take her as a follower as well. And both mom and daughter want my dragon blood, and as Serana puts it we’re all family now.😊

We don't give two shits what her past is

The reason Serana wasn't marriageable is the same reason Frea wasn't marriageable, they were uniquely voiced characters that Bethesda didn't want to spend the time and money recording new lines and writing code for Hearthfire and the marriage system (or a potential new and unique system). If Bethesda thought that they could have made money off of it, and if they wanted to spend the time even doing it, then they would have made Serana and Frea marriageable. It came down to time and money. It was easier and cheaper to make them both have a few lines rejecting marriage.

what sucks too about Serana is her HOOD BUG! shes been my follower for how many game hours now and recently just found out about this bug. i always treat my followers as a pack mule specially for those Dragon Loots lol i tried the console command like reseting her inventory yet nothing happens

Apparently the game design reason was because the voice actor didnt want her character to marry the player because she had a husband in real life. Thats honestly so stupid thought as the game was basically giving you the best romance option in the entire game. Like ive never been one to actually marry a character in skyrim games because i just think its a hassle but the one time i did it was with serena because her character seemed to be perfect for the dragon born then i tried and shes like naw im good. She really seemed like the perfect candidate in game because shes the most fleshed out and also best follower in the entire game so its pretty lame

The way that you refer to marriage as someone being “chained down” says a lot more about how you view marriage than whether marriage would be right for Serena.

i think you're right,sadly bethesda didnt make any other character as complex as her,so people see the complex personality that has more than just 2 lines of dialogue and go fawning over her for that very reason,purposefully ignoring all the facts you put in this video,in short the one to blame here is bethesda for not making any complex marriable characters or any complex characters besides serana at all xD