Recognizing Signs of Abuse (Emotional, Mental & Physical)

SPOT ON!! I related to ALL of this!! THANK YOU! Especially the part when you said that they use your past hurts from family members against you to isolate you. That happened to me for years Literally this whole video was me

People also need to realize not every victim is the crying woman curled up in a ball we see portrayed in movies. Alot of women will fight back and stand up for themselves until they have no fight left in them. You start acting like the abuser in many ways. It changes who you are. It becomes normal to be called names everyday and fight and argue everyday. That is your life. You slowly lose yourself and become a person you don’t recognize anymore.

the worst part is when i finally stand up to myself and physically defend myself i am potrayed as the bad person to his family

My ex was so abusive that I wound up hospitalized and almost died bc of him. Then after I left, my mental health was so bad that I ended up hospitalized two more times. I'm fully recovered now after two years of consistent therapy. There is hope.

Some times the abused ends up isolating themselves, because they are so ashamed that they ended up in this kind of relationship. They become so depleted of energy from trying to emotional regulate themselves and the abuser, that they have nothing left for most others. The abused might be severely ashamed of themselves because they can't believe they allowed them selves to become victim. By the time one realizes they have been emotionally abused, they might have no where to go.

You left out the financial independence. It's hard to pay rent in a lot of cities these days if you're not educated or have a low-skill job. If your abuser can keep a roof over your head it makes it harder to pull away.

One of the hardest things about getting support as a man is that everyone assumes you're the abuser. This assumption isn't just hurtful and insulting, it's terrifying. You're terrified that you'll lose your family, your friends, your job, maybe even your freedom

Emotional Abuse was so much harder to accept. My mom was in denial with how bad she was being treated and it was our normal. Just because there were no physical scars it made us feel like we’re the problem and we just needed to do better.

I will never forget the day I went as a Man to the YWCA and talked to a counselor and she handed me a page with the 4 types of abuse on it and pointed out to me I was experiencing 2 of them. I learned that day that men too can be abused. That was the day I decided I was done and would find a way to exit.

Discussing reactive abuse may be a very informative addition. Another idea is how we can carry abusive patterns into otherwise healthy relationships after experiencing abuse.

I was used to this cycle from my childhood with my family. So of course it never occurred to me that my fiancé emotionally abused me. My therapist has to literally draw it out for me and it took me a long time to fully understand and not blame myself. Thank you for making this video.

Abuse isn't just between romantic partners. I recently had to cut a close friend out of my life because she was becoming very emotionally abusive.

This is probably one of the best explanations of an abusive relationship. It really shows the lack of empathy most people have when you try to speak up about this. And it really takes a lot to be able to leave money being a huge factor. Once I make enough money I feel like I am out even though he doesn't do the abusive stuff anymore.

I’m going through a rough time in my marriage pushing me towards divorce. This video is really helping. Thank you ❤

That was essentially my entire family dynamic. Every single person in my family had this sort of cycle with me.

Thanks, Kati. It’s extremely confusing for people! Especially if it’s very covert and the person starts the abuse later in life because they are free to do so! Family members are subtly mentioned in a derogatory way and this puts thoughts in the victims mind to not bother with them and so people become isolated, especially if the abuser is close them, in any type of relationship. Who wants to believe someone they love and trust is capable of doing such a horrible thing to them? People end up stuck because maybe they are already vulnerable or a caring, kind, and somewhat naive person who loves to make people happy and the abuser knows this. They fake anxiety around the victim to put them on edge so they’ll do their best to please them or they visit their home, act like they’re not bothered, fall asleep in front of them, act disinterested, and end up arguing and going round in circles, bringing up the past when talking about present problems, to avoid accountability! Then they’ll say the victim started an argument and storm off! Then when they leave, the victim feels more unloved, unappreciated, invisible and upset. Then the abuser disappears for days, weeks, or even months, maybe turns off their phone on purpose, so that the victim feels lonely, unsupported, and wondering what they did wrong! Then the abuser will come back and apologise and maybe do some jobs for them or take them on a day trip somewhere nice. The victim then feels relieved and happy that things are going to change for the better! Maybe they spoil the abuser and buy them something - It’s great until it’s not! It happens again and again, until the victim eventually catches on, despite, the cognitive dissonance. They may think they’re right about the abuse and then take it back, thinking they made a mistake, but eventually, it all becomes too clear, especially the longer the victim stays away from the abuser! When a person finds themselves looking up information about an abuser’s behaviour and analysing what they say, their body language, hot and cold behaviours, gaslighting etc - that’s the BIGGEST red flag ever and the victim should majorly reduce contact or cut the relationship off completely!! They should also seek help from people outside of their circle because family members and friends may not understand or believe the victim. And if the victim has anxiety about other things it’s even harder to be believed. Thing is, it’s uncomfortable to believe someone you knew could do such a thing, but they can and they do, but it’s easier and more comfortable not to believe the victim. This makes them feel more lonely, unsupported, and wondering if people think they’re a bad person because the abuser could just say it’s them, it’s the victim that’s the problem. The victim cannot win! The only way to win is to walk away and work on themselves! The worst part to come out of it is it’s harder to trust people and the best is that speaking up for themselves is no longer a problem, they’ll stand up for what’s right and speak their truth from then on, and so they should! Knowledge is power and this is why channels like these are the best! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and awareness, Kati! 🤓 ps, I know this comment is wayyy too long! 😆 Just couldn’t help but share!

I left my abusive husband 14 years ago. I still feel like I have not recovered from it, or fully dealt with it so I can have a happy relationship with another man. I am seeing someone now for the first time in 14 years!! I keep waiting for the shoe to drop! I hate feeling like this! It’s not fair to my new “friend “

You put in capital letters emotional abuse but jump to physical violence into the video. There's so many types of abuse and I was really looking forward to hearing about emotional abuse and how to get away from that. I'm not in danger of getting my ass kicked but I'm constantly manipulated and blamed for everything. Nobody ever backs me up because I don't have a bunch of bruises on me. No one even believes me so I always end up blaming myself. I would rather have a physical abuse than this bullshit because I could get help then.

This was my relationship with my father. 10 years ago he crossed a line and threatened my husband and that was the last straw. I put up with his emotional abuse for YEARS but seeing him threatening someone I cared about was like breaking the chain on his control over me. I gave him an ultimatum that he had a problem and he needed to get professional help for me to have a relationship with him. I stuck to that and and have cut him out of my life because he has refused to address his issues. I mourn the father/daughter relationship I had because the 'calm' phases with him gave me some of my best childhood memories, but the abuse isn't worth it. It's hard...very hard, but I am so much happier now. Sometimes it just takes someone getting to a breaking point before they are able to do something about it.

When you are IN LOVE that’s how this happens