She gets paid to be her paralyzed boyfriend’s caregiver, but marriage could change that
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Published 2021-08-09
Who gets paid to be a caregiver is complicated. Medicaid, Medicare and private insurance companies have different rules and requirements for paying family members, as do individual states — and in most states, married caregivers are not counted as workers. Only eight state Medicaid programs allow married people to be paid caregivers to their partners. Eight additional states have private programs that allow spouses to be paid as caregivers.
But across much of the country, interabled couples, a relationship with one person who is disabled and one who is able-bodied, are placed in a terrible predicament: marriage or compensation for the grueling work of managing one of the most expensive medical conditions. Read more: wapo.st/3s1R9Aq. Subscribe to The Washington Post on YouTube: wapo.st/2QOdcqK
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All Comments (21)
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Caregiving to this degree tends to break the relationship because one feels guilty and the other exhausted. One needs to have a network of people.
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Taking care of someone has a huge impact on your mental health.
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It’s just too much for her and we know realistically it’s unsustainable. She needs help.
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you can see in her eyes she is tired, feel so sorry for you both, wish you all best, stay strong!
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You can see the pain in her eyes. She’s really struggling. I hope they get more financial assistance.
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She has such a good heart. A person like that is extremely rare nowadays.
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This reminds me of what happened to a friend of my cousin. Her husband was stricken with polio just after they were married in the early 1950's, and was paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. She stood by him, however they were never able to have children. Somehow, they were able to make their relationship endure.
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I give Jane an A+ for giving him unconditional love everyday. It’s very rare and hard to find someone like a person like this lady. I’m so proud of her. I just wish that there were more people like Jane. Especially in my East Indian culture. Hats off to you Jane. I’m so proud of both of you and God Bless you. You guys are an inspiration for other disabled people who marries a non disabled person. Wish you all the best in happiness. Gpd Bless you.
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As a working American, both these people should be getting payments. He should be getting full disability payments. She should be paid the equivalent of a full time job, and not minimum wage. I want my taxes to allow these people to get married.
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This is a go fund me I'd contribute to. She was beyond an amazing woman. She deserves so much better and so much more help. She loves him deeply.
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True love is life saving. Thank you Jane for what you do for Connor. I pray you will receive help with his care. And I pray your financial situation will get better. God Bless you both ❤
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I saw the struggle in her eyes, I really hope things become better for you guys.
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I've been taking care of my paraplegic partner for 18 years. We have a teen son, but live apart and are not married because in Quebec they would not only cut my caregiver pay but also stop his disability payments. We would have no choice but to go on welfare, so we live apart instead.
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"We are punished for pursuing love..." Heartbreaking.
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Beautiful lady. Sadly she would have to move on soon. She cannot sustain this forever. It's too much stress on her back, too much stress on her mind (she looks so sad), and too much stress on life.
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You are simply an angel, what you do is the greatest thing a person can do in this life, Bless You.
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Feeling depressed today about my caregiving responsibilities; this was a helpful reminder of how many people are struggling and that I'm not alone. Bless their hearts...so young to take this on.
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I'm worried about her back. She's so small. She needs a pull system to transfer him. We pay plenty for wars and other foolishness and people like this are SUFFERING 😡😪
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What an amazing girlfriend/wife. It so rare, these days, that somebody dedicates their life helping you. Wish you both to be very well.
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Wishing your boyfriend speedy recovery. Salute to you for taking care and lifting him.
