How to Deal With the Fear of Never Finding Your Person

Ugh the 10 pm in bed in the dark is the worst. Having someone you love next to you is such a beautiful gift.

Surrender is the best way to put it, I stopped trying to make things happen with someone, I’m focusing on myself right now… this is very empowering 😊

The thing is - this fear - it never really quite goes away even when you find someone. You're afraid you won't find your person. Then you're afraid the person you've found isn't the right person because of all the ways they're flawed. And/ Or you're afraid they'll leave you because you're flawed. You're afraid you'll loose them. You're afraid of the fights and conflicts and misalignments. The fear itself is what you work on really - single or not

I'm a 40 year old divorcee. I've been telling myself FOR YEARS that I'd never get remarried because I have no desire, but the reality is that all I want is to be married again. So instead of pretending marriage isn't what will make me happy, I got honest with myself. I do want to be married and I want a husband who makes me feel safe and loved. I'm now looking for a man who will make me happy and who has similar values and wants from their life.

This is your now, not your forever. ❤ The only constant is change

I have just accepted it is what it is. I’m not closed to finding my person but accept I cannot let it rule my life and forget to live my life. I will always be open but refuse to stay a slave to it. 🤷‍♀️

It’s all about the stories we tell ourselves isn’t it? I’m 64, 2 years single after a long slow sad breakup after 29 years of marriage, and I’ve been thinking “I’m old, I’m running out of time, I might get ill soon” etc etc. After some rather frantic dating through apps, I’m only now starting to surrender into just BEING. I’m beginning to relax for the first time in decades, and can truly think about what life I want, instead of what SHE wants, or trying to figure out how WE can mutually compromise to make something work. Thanks Matt, this video is truly validating.

Sometimes I feel God speaks to me through such YouTube recommendations 😊

I needed this today. I'm 47 (6 months to 48) & the older I get, the more I feel like it will never happen. No one talks about the heartbreak of not becoming a mother due to age. I've always wanted children, but I think carrying a child is probably out of reach right now. I haven't had a relationship since 2020 & haven't been on a date since 2022. Even weirder is that I'm a wedding manager (I really love my job). It's beautiful to see couples pledge their life to each other. I've started going on solo vacations this year to shift my life, and I'm hoping that brings new experiences. But it's tough & it's ok to feel the loss of what could have been. Just as long as I don't stay in it because then I really feel like I won't heal

I am almost 40. I tried for 9 years to find my person. Hard to believe that such a positive thing as wanting to love and to be loved led me to almost end my life because of catastrophic disappontments. After so many incompatibilities and rejections, I have started to imagine my life single forever and the prospects are also exciting. Some days it is tough to bury that big dream but I am getting along with that new vision. Now I wonder if there is even still a place in my life for a partner. Thank you for the hope of this video and for me lets see. At least I am in control of my life now.

There are so many people around the world in this position, it's mind blowing.

for such a young man, Matthew speaks wisdom beyond his years. Love from Scotland.

Core confidence is most important Make your life happy with yourself, small steps. It is possible. Clean something, go for a walk, start exercising, 5 min is enough for a start. Today we have, and it is happening now, never repeating, don't throw it on despair. Yes, lm single and it hurts. Can l change something about it right now? No. Can l do something in the future, or now? Yes. It hurts, but lm gonna do me, l cannot change the hurting, but l can do this and this and that. And you will be proud of yourselves. And that is guys a ninja level 👑 Your heart opens up, and life opens up

It took me decades, but I've finally figured out that being lonely is multitudes better than being miserable in a bad relationship. I was always too distracted by all the other stuff going on to actually realize it. At 45 and now single, I'm realizing it's time for me to figure things out, not rush into anything, and just accept that being a little lonely is part of the process.

Last night i was in my bed crying and praying to god,please take away my need to be with someone, to love and be loved by someone, it's just painful:( this morning i open you tube and there you are talking about a woman who exactly feels the same way i do. Thank you for reminding that "everything changes" My biggest challenge is to surrender. From now on, i will pray to god to help me surrender to my current circumstance🙏 Also i will buy your book if it's sold here in Turkiye. Thanks for being there Matthew❤️

Thank you Matthew. I received your book yesterday! Being single for years and years is so hard, especially when almost everyone around me is in a stable, happy couple. But yeah I accept the pain of it, what else can I do? I've suffered worst things in my life. I do all I can to enjoy my life and keep on learning and working on being someone that I am proud of. I keep moving and meeting new people, I'm not afraid.

Very helpful! I’m 44 and have had one bad relationship after another in the past 5-6 years. People I treated well. I sometimes feel I’ll never meet someone who’s genuinely good and maybe also sick of games or sneakiness. But things do change. New people appear in our lives all the time. A genuinely good person with good intentions must be out there somewhere. A month or year from now, perhaps I’ll be with him. I’ll try to enjoy my life in the interim.

I’m so sad because of a major disappointment. It’s to the point that I found myself thinking what it would be like if I wasn’t here anymore (would people even care or notice?) and what I would write in my goodbye letter. That scared me so I made an appointment to see a therapist this coming week. But the part of this video that got me is when Matthew said to think back to a time when you were at your saddest and how things changed. That’s the only thing I can do to give me hope right now. I’ve been here before and I’m able to look back at the previous situation and see how much happier I was after getting through the pain.

I know you're content is mainly geared towards helping women but i feel like as a man, the advice you give is incredibly helpful and what i really needed at the moment.

Hey everyone! Thank you for the insightful and vulnerable comments on this video. I really appreciate all of you being here, especially in such a big week for me and my team! For anyone who hasn’t preordered a copy of my new book Love Life, it’s out in 2 days!! (April 23rd). Visit www.lovelifebook.com/ to get your copy and register for the free bonuses that come with it before they expire! Happy reading!! 📕 ❤️🧡