“I don’t even think of you as disabled!”

I'm 58. I've been disabled since I was 24. I've achieved a lot in spite of my health - and I get the "I don't even see you as disabled" comments - and there are times that it feels like "and you don't see me." As if the disabled part of me needs to be hidden away, swept under the carpet - but the accomplishment is to be admired all the more because of the thing they don't want to see or talk about. It's weird ...

I’m mentally disabled. And I do feel disabled but I don’t embrace it. Many people don’t consider mental illness as a disablity….that’s the difficult part to deal with.

I am disabled & I will never be ashamed of that fact. It’s society’s problem, not mine.

I've been told this so many times, and it makes me feel so isolated. It sounds like "good job. Your disability hasn't been a burden to me." It makes me avoid those people, because I don't want to let them down and become stigmatized in their mind.

People walk up to me at the Gym…. After they ask if I’m a veteran and they say “oh you’re such an inspiration” other people say “if I were in your shoes I’d off myself.” It’s extremely annoying. I never understood why anyone would want to point out a flaw in my life that I struggled with for many years after my amputation. Not to mention they don’t even introduce themselves I find it very rude!

I agree Jo, to hell with this pathetic, backwards, condescending ablest and frankly gaslighting idea that we should feel ashamed to admit that we are in fact disabled. I busted my neck some almost 22 years ago, ya better believe that I am indeed disabled and you know what, that's OK.

My best friend said something that meant so much to me. Ive had my disabilities since we met and I am honest when im not doing well. She thanked me for being so open about my conditions and battles with treatment because she was able to "be a better friend" to someone who was newly diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Im very glad i was able to be a conduit for this other person to have a strong suppoter in their corner.

As someone born with a congenital disability, I find it incredible what lengths not-yet-disabled people will go to, to minimize, erase, and find euphemisms for disability. "I don't see you as disabled" is meant as a complement- "When I look at you, I don't see the negative things I've been taught to associate with that word." Thank you, Jo, for giving us all a holistic view of what disability means to you, and to so many of us- a fact of life that can't be summed up with words like 'good' and 'bad'. PS - Strep, on the other hand, is objectively awful! Hope you get through it soon :)

I was told this by my deeply ableist family. I was also told I should never "accept" my disability and fight to "solve" it. Thank you for this video, it's good to know I'm not alone. I think recognizing that I'm disabled and accepting myself was the key to letting go of self-blame and truly thriving.

Having to admit that I was disabled was not only very difficult for me but also very freeing.

Dear Jo: I was born with a congenital disability and it's an oddysey to acknowledge and accept one's condition!!! Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts as a disabled woman.❤

I hate that kind of thinking, I'm one of three autistic siblings the man who diagnosed my sister actually said to her "don't use it as an excuse". If you are struggling with something or can't do something because of your disability that is not an excuse its a legitimate reason.

I once asked a friend that is an amputee what the worst compliment they had was... they said, "I don't think of you as disabled". They said they knew the person was trying to say "the right thing" but it still irritated them. I said, "when I see you, I don't see your disability as who you are or all you are, yes it's a part of you but I just see my friend." They told me that is a much better way to put it because it acknowledges that the disability exists, but it isn't the thing that defines them as a person to me.

Loving this series of difficult but necessary conversations delivered via foot mic. It's nice to hear someone besides my therapist say these things.

I'm austistic and was just recently diagnosed at 29. Since I passed as "normal" for so long I'm struggling with the word "disabled" applying to myself. Thank you for your perspective on this. It really helped to organize my thoughts. How I see myself and want to communicate this is still a work in progress but your explanation gave me the ability to understand and analyse my own feelings better :)

THIS is how I was feeling after I went to the Paralympic museum yesterday. Disabled people struggling to exist are still valid and worthy.

When my partner first told me he was autistic I said I "wouldn't have guessed it". I meant it more as "I recognize I'm ignorant and I need to learn more about autism" but I can see how it could have been perceived as "congratulations, you're doing a great job looking *normal*". Thank you for the food for thought!

Thank you so much for saying all of this! I've heard "I don't see/think of you as disabled" so many times in my life and back in my teens and twenties, before I was aware of all of my internalized ableism, I took it as a huge compliment. Now, I look back at how I reacted and desperately wish that I could time travel back to those moments, backhand myself for being thankful and aggressively correct everyone who's ever said it to me.

As someone with much lesser issues who did damage their body permanently while trying to "overcome it", this spoke to me. Thanks for being a voice on this issue.

As someone who has unfortunately had strep throat dozens of times in my life, I can tell you with authority that if you plug your ears tightly when you swallow, the glass slicing into your throat will feel less painful.