Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video]

“So he never lifts a finger” can have two meanings. One, he never does work. Two, so he doesn’t hit.

this truly is a love letter to all the hundreds of millions of women who have lived and died, nameless and faceless and unappreciated, terrified and violated and unfulfilled, lonely and clever and murdered. we see you. we're sorry.

In india, there is this tradition of the wife/mother in the family eating last, they are not allowed to sit with the family and eat together. Instead they are often left with the leftovers of their own cooking while the men and children are served first and take away most of the food without consideration for the mother. I am lucky to be born in a progressive family where this tradition has long since been abandoned. But it still persists in many many families, regardless of economic class.

I don't usually comment but no one is talking about the plates. The song is literally about her being trapped in a loveless marriage and forced to be nothing but a tool for him, all the while he's eating off of a Blue Willow. The pattern on that dish is supposed to tell the story of a true love that was denied by the bride's father and ended in the couple becoming birds so they could be together. Her plate is a Blue Onion, based on a Chinese design that featured an Aster and a pomegranate. Asters represent many things in different cultures, but most notably love, faith and purity. Pomegranates in China represent fertility and a blessed future among other things. They are literally eating off dishes that show what their marriage should have been. Love, devotion and happiness but that's not what it ended up being. It's such a subtle detail and I love it. (also, although the design didn't originally feature an onion, I think it should also be noted that the word onion comes from the Latin word unio which, if I remember correctly, means unity or to unite.

The part about having a daughter and being afraid that she’ll meet the same fate is a true terror that keeps me up at night

What struck me about this song is that EVERY woman knows of another woman being treated like this or has gone through it herself. No sister is untouched. And there's a deep, deep fury about that. Even if not personally, throughout history, women know.

The fact that the pomegranate is the symbol of Persephone is symbolic. The way she rips it apart. She was trapped in this marriage and now she's destroying it. Edit: 3.9k likes? Are you kidding me? Thanks!

“For someone who I thought was my savior, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour.” Hits hard when your with somebody who promised to take you out of your misery but ends up traumatizing you just as the same or even worse.

In my culture, traditionally men are the ones who eat first even though the women in the family are the ones who slaved away at the kitchen to prepare the food for everyone. The way that she has to wait for the guy to eat first reminds me of that. It is also symbolic of how even though women are the ones working so hard, the fruits of labor like say, opportunities are grabbed by men first while women always have barriers stopping them. Women always get the left over. Such a powerful depiction.

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” sends chills down my spine 😭

Me: unmarried, child free and financially stable. Relating so hard to this song for some reason and glad to my fore-mothers for giving me a chance to escape the drudgery.

Maybe It's strange, but as a man I can relate with this song. Actualy its my favorite. Always reminds me to my mother, who raised me alone, and my father who left us for a new family. My mother is a fucking hero. Mom! This song for you. 🥰

I absolutely love the symbolism in her choosing to eat a pomegranate. Pomegranates are used in so many ways in different religions and myths, but in every single one it is a symbol of womanhood, rebirth, or something of the sort. It’s such a powerful choice to use that as she eats in rebellion.

this is absolutely a love letter to women throughout history. as historian rosalind miles points out: part of the reason men were at the forefront of so much innovation throughout history isn’t just because of lack of education for women, but because they were free to do more with their time as women were carrying most domestic and emotional labour in the home.

The "For somebody I thought was my saviour" rings very true to me - a lot of troubled young women think they have found someone to save them but in fact its just another abuser.

Here in Brazil, there is a general test, like an entrance exam, to enter any university. The writing is what weighs the most, and this year it was: 'the invisibility of the care work carried out by women', and I mentioned this song.

My grandma gave birth to 17 children, 10 survived WWII, she did all the work, was a wonderful chef, seperated from her husband, an abusive alcoholic who was busy with a prostitute literally whilst she was in labour giving birth. She was shunned by her society, called a whore because she left her husband. This, grandma, is for you ❤

The symbolism of her lighting her candle and watching it burn down while his is unlit and barely touched is perfect

I watched my mother lose decades of her life to this dynamic, after she got divorced she's like a completely different person for the better. I'll never fall into the same trap.

After having our first child, always having to cook, clean, take care of the baby, expected to get up through every night and the morning, and not having time to properly take care of myself, I was hanging on by a thread thinking that I was supposed to do all of this.. all the while my husband sleeps in, goes golfing every Saturday (all day), barely helped after he got home from work and complained every time I asked for more help. THIS SONG got me angry in the best way. I put my foot down. This song is so powerful. Every time I listen to it I get chills