Men and women can — and should — be friends | Ira Virtanen | TEDxOtaniemi

There is a diffrence between being friendly and being friends.

This was a great talk, thank you. This message is rare but I agree with it and wish it were spoken more often. I''m male and have had a female friend for 14 years and I love her because we're the same in so many ways. It's complicated, however, as I have also had feelings for her since very early on. But I'm also committed to lifelong celibacy, because I believe love is a trick and I don't trust it. What I believe in is the true platonic connection between us. That's the real part to me. I love her for who she is. Of course not many, it seems, can see past the romantic lens, so my position is mocked. But I believe I'm right. The friendship is the true part.

"Our individual differences outweigh the gender differences" This, for me, is the climax of her talk. We're all different individuals, so please stop treating everyone as "typical for their gender". Expectations can be so harmful.

There is some confusion towards the end of this talk. I think she's saying her lover is also her friend, and she's still really good friends with her childhood friend, but at first it sounds like she's saying her lover is her childhood friend, which would contradict a lot of the rest of the talk.

Sometimes I think it's better to be by yourself

I never been raised to be friends with males. Right now I struggle to be friends with males because i think there's no other connection between a man and woman but love and intimacy. I want to freed from that thought

13:39 disproved her entire speech😂

Nice video, you hit the mark!

straight people try not to sexualize the other half of the population challenge

Thanks for the advice god bless everyone

I really love the lines where she basically said that usually guy + guy = active, guy + girl = guy deep & active, girl + girl = deep

From an evolutionary standpoint it's not very good to fall in love with someone you grew up with, because they're more likely to be a relative to you, therefore we're, IN GENERAL, wired to not fall in love with childhood friends. This is why I find it kind of disturbing when people hint at their toddlers being in love, instead of celebrating their toddlers' awesome friendships.

The whole point is: we have to think too much to make something natural because it is not. It is social. Can social always beat natural? This may be what someone expects. Why?

I don't know about others but I was in a University where I was the only woman out of 420 student of my stream.. we're all friends good friends and some are my best friend but neither they were attracted to me neither I was...so I think man and woman can be friend

I agree friends is better for those who hang out more

Well yeah, that's another example why our society make more harm than good...Thank you! I am satisfied to hear your speech! It was very useful and important🔥👌

I needed this. I have a connection with a woman that I can't express in words. I have trouble defining it, and people think I'm mad or smitten for pursuing it. All I know is I'm drawn to her, and she is drawn to me. We're trying to work it out. I hope that we can.

You know..i am in sixth grade and i have a friend that i known since 4, he's a boy. But now we don't even say hello anymore. Because we're afraid someone will tease us. My friend ship is so twist..can anyone help?(desperate in need)

Different but equal

I am friends with roughly the same number of men like women. Of course this is possible. I am shocked by the comments under this video stating, that we should not be friends.