What you need to HEAL A BETRAYAL: do not attempt the process without these two things

You will save years of your life if you follow this: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou. Blessings xo

Betrayal is the most damaging development that can happen to a relationship. There is no turning back from a break of faith.

Th paper folding analogy hit home. Being betrayed against did last a lifetime, although I was happy in the relationship an element of distrust remained for +45 years.

You said my favorite words, 'pushing them away and starting over is easier'. These sick bastards just says, 'forgive and forget'.

Betrayal of trust is just about the worst thing someone can do. As a man, my integrity is my foundation in life, but my experience with women is that they can’t comprehend what integrity is and how to appreciate a man who has it. Even when you don’t want her back and move on, high odds the woman is too cowardly to even apologize knowing she is in the wrong. I hate the fact that it has to be this way, but reality is harsh and bridges have to be burned sometimes and it’s often with people you thought would be in your life a long time

have gone through this before. After betrayal we stayed together for years, it was great at times, but it was also hell. You can forgive, but the pain will always be there, and you will not forget.

Wonderful. I do think it’s best to move on. I heard somewhere that relationships are meant to teach us a lesson, not keep us comfortable. After betrayal, I don’t think it’s bad to evaluate the lessons learned about yourself, your triggers, your healthy or unhealthy reactions, and just move on. Do we really trust or respect as much as we did after a betrayal?

I feel like betrayal stays with you, like forever. No matter who it is done by. Always in the back of your mind.

Honest thoughts, thanks. My personal boundary is one step more extreme than "betrayal is final": if she admits to cheating on nearly every boyfriend she's ever had, it is nothing but narcissism on your part to assume you are the exception--she will do it again. Made that mistake before

Betrayals are especially difficult to heal when a woman does the betraying. Men and women cheat for different reasons, and a woman cheating is much more likely to end a relationship, even if the couple goes to therapy.

I stopped at 45 secs in. I wouldn't salvage the relationship just move on. good luck to anyone that does try.

Hell no. As a man, that is super disrespectful. A woman can’t love a man she doesn’t respect. All I want as a man in a relationship, is loyalty. You don’t get purity in this modern era, so loyalty is the new purity. If a woman ever disrespects you, doesn’t have to even be full blown cheating-trash her-the relationship will fail eventually. Do not accept any woman on a exclusive basis that is not on your program, all about your future and life together. You are dealing with extremely damaged people for the most part-it’s not likely you will even find a decent partner. I have-but it’s bc I stick to these rules about respect

well done here Orion, in about 6min you've described a central issue in life. I think there's a roll of dice here. you can either choose to repair the relationship with a known traitor (like de-creasing the paper) or start a new one with someone you can't tell whether they're going to be a traitor or not. what to do? I'll say be resilient. expect betrayal. be able to survive it. even if you wish to make the effort to repair you can then survive it again and then definitely not revisit that one. go for a new one? great, only you won't know they'll betray you until they do. the answer is the same- be resilient 😎

I think this can be generalised to any kind of relationship. I definitely am not going back. Onwards, upwards! 👍💪

Thanks. This is helping me heal and move on. Without sincere repentance what is there then to build on? Nothing short of that is good enough. I realise that I can forgive her jumping on another guy, since I had not been clear in my feelings and needs, which caused her a bunch of anxiety, fundamentally a dishonesty within myself which transfered into the relationship. However what I can't forgive without a sincere apology is that she lied to me after leaving, saying they were "just friends", that still eats me up inside, and am not sure if I can get over. It eats me up seeing women flaunt their sexuality and fuck around so much,when expecting romance and loyalty. I fundamentally don't trust women as they want to be seen as innocent, then display selective memory and definitions of intimate relations. I think dishonesty runs deep in society. Happy faces that aren't happy, provocative appeal which isn't innocent. An honest hooker in my view has more integrity than a dishonest partner. Are marriages for love or money? Money, energy, power. I hate being cynical, I want to trust. I want mutuality. Love is unselfish however but cannot flourish in a stagnant or unsafe environment. Unclear boundaries, definitions and emotions create trouble. Be brutally honest with oneself (which is hard if not properly intuned with emotions) and establish boundaries ASAP.

This was a great explanation. I would like to add that if you’ve been betrayed, the forgiveness you’re trying to achieve isn’t really for the other person; it’s for yourself. Any feelings you hold on to aren’t hurting the other person nearly as much as they’re hurting you - it’s important for you to let them go. I say do the work to forgive (for yourself) and only then decide if you want to continue with this relationship.

Looking back over the years there were many smaller moments of betrayal leading up to the cheating betrayal. He was always betraying me . That is the kind of man he is. My betrayer, not my protector. That is simply his nature.

Well reasoned, executable, well defined components of a hard to demystify situation. Solid advice also to help you realize when somebody is using a mistaken action against you.

Great video! amazingly tough to work through everything necessary to communicate and heal.

Excellent summary of the responsibilities of both parties after a betrayal. Too often I've seen the injured party sink into righteous martyrdom, using their victim status as a retaliatory weapon. Your advice is spot on if both parties want a healthy relationship going forward.