Jordan Peterson - How To Know When To End A Relationship

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The most exhausting thing in a relationship is someone who avoids conflict at all costs.

My husband is my best friend. We went through hell and back but made rules in the beginning to maintain each other’s dignity. Did we sometimes slip up? Yes. Did it hurt? Yes. But we always apologized and took accountability. Sometimes it took time and we needed to separate and give ourselves time to think. Now, we rarely fight but we do have disagreements and we handle them with love and patience. I am always thinking about how I can honor my husband’s love and happiness and him for me. The other day he said to me that we complete each other, followed up with, “we’re like a pie, you’re one half and I’m the other, and we might be two different flavours but when you put us together, we complete the pie!” 😂😂😂

A mature relationship between husband and wife is a beautiful thing. Its a perfect example of what good is. The love they have for each other. The peace they have. What they do for each other. The fights then feeling guilty and making up to each other. It just makes us better people when we have a lifetime partner.

I’ve come to appreciate the way Jordan Peterson thinks. He gives a conclusion, and walks you through a scenario. But along the way he asks what seem stupid questions like “Do we want our child to be annoying?”. But what he’s doing is always questioning the underlying assumptions and really asking “Are we sure we know what we think we know?”. Fantastic logical process.

Just my $0.02 - ask yourself these questions multiple times over an extended period of time rather than just once when you’re emotionally charged. You’ll answer these questions very differently depending on how things are with you at that very moment.

I married my wife and chose to be with her, not by how in sync we are, (lol we’re often not) but how we got though conflict. She always sought for resolution of “us” rather than just winning. lol a thousand fights is right, especially when kids came along. Thankfully we’re on our 10 years and I can say, in most ways we are closer and more “in sync” than we’ve ever been. Of course it’s not perfect, any one who says they have that is probably selling something. But in short, look for someone who can get though the conflict with you (and care about your relationship over his/her own pride) rather than searching endlessly for someone who “clicks” with you in every way.

Yep! To all of it. Going on 30 years of marriage. We started out great friends, went through many years of learning how to fight for that friendship, until we finally understood the real potential of what this incredible friendship could be. Years of struggling by both of us to stop being selfish and to love, truly love, one another. It’s normal to want to run the hell away and find relief in one’s own selfish needs. But to earn the trust that creates the magic of love, you have to stick it out until you figure it all out. 🌿

7:57 "I'd it's genuine love, you see their hidden soul... You get a glimpse of the light they could reveal to the world. To act in love is to encourage that to come forward and to discourage anything that gets in its way."

A teacher of mine once told me “you can’t truly love someone they they can’t truly love you, unless you can be your genuine self, the good and the bad presented, and they still love you for who you are.

I like the way Jordan immediately brings it back to earth, and shows it doesn't have to be perfect to be entirely good. Chris was talking about some ideal relationship where nothing ever is anything less than perfect, and you never catch yourself feeling disappointed. Jordan brings it back to YOU. You have the power to make lemonade out of lemons. You have the power to say, "why am I disappointed? Was what I was secretly hoping for really better than what I have, or what I can make of it?". Etc. I like that. It's two different approaches, but I like that he doesn't give up on the possibility of making it all work out by examining himself.

"My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was Sunday morning, we were reading the paper and I said, 'Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!' And she said, 'We’re done'." - Kevin, from The Office

0:03 % Questions to ask yourself if you are unsure about your relationship: 1) If someone told you you're a lot like your partner would this be a compliment to you? 2) are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely? 3) are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you need to show up differently to please your partner? 4) are you in love with who your partner is right now as a whole or are you only in love with their good side their potential or idea of them? 5) would you want your future or imagined child to date someone like your partner? 1:14, Solution 1:17 1:41 1:53 3:51 2:00 2:14 2:33 2:43 3:03 3:25 4:46 7:31 7:56 9:53 10:55

JP was my prof when I studied at U o T years ago 2004.I wish I had the sense to listen better. But at least he is no longer being wasted in Sid Smith hall and now belongs to the world. He is a Viking and Christian Saint and I wish he was my father.

Your ability to truly listen to your partner, in a way that helps you to understand yourself better is so much more important than trying to convince your partner of your point. That takes true vulnerability and humility.

Those type of videos of Jordan Peterson I love the most. I can relate to it and apply it in real life. Life changing advise!

You're annoying me, convince me that it's me and I'll listen .. i love that!!!! You're hurting me, convince me that it's me and I'll listen... i freaking love this. Brilliant

This was not what I thought it was going to be and it really surprised me.. Interesting. I'm just leaving a relationship where the other person shut me down with anger every time I wanted to talk about a concern and accused me for wanting to argue because I wanted to talk through things. Every, single, time. It shouldn't be that hard.

10 minutes in... to even try to set boundaries is still an act of respect for everybody involved.

Interesting that Peterson is impressing that a peaceful relationship attained through fighting about things constitutes a good relationship. While it does make sense, it doesn't address Chris' other points about being happy/fulfilled with the relationship. I'm amazed to find in my adult life how many people are together because they don't want to be alone, can't survive alone, or are just together for the kids. I guess it's noble in some sense to sacrifice your happiness/pleasure for someone else but you also have to question what kind of an environment does that create? It's also interesting to look at this as someone who is older and single, and how often I get shamed or questioned about whether or not I've found a partner by people who are obviously unhappy with theirs. I guess shared misery helps it seem less bad.