How People Learn the Victim Mentality and To Shift Blame
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Publicado 2024-08-22
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In this clip, Tim goes over the Drama Triangle and how many people learn to feel like the victim, often growing into a victim complex. It is important to know that not all victims have a victim complex, and those that do may not even realize they have it; their behaviors are what they learned to survive while growing up. Recognizing the behavior, acknowledging its impact, and making steps towards healing will mend the relationship with the self and with others.
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Todos los comentarios (21)
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Exactly my childhood home dynamic.
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I was that son, wow how it has caused such a struggle in my life
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My dad was the aggressor - angry, critical, lashing out and my mom was the enabler. Tim is so right - when I look back now thru a spirit that is healing, I can see how they both played the victim, both had that "victim mentality". Neither having enough insight into their behavior to change. Victims tend to raise victims. Sad!! Strangely enough, I was both enabler and aggressor depending on the relationship.
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So, this is how learned helplessness is made.. as a child, when we look at our examples of what to become, the choice between being a villain or do good at your expense isn’t much of a choice. If you’ve haven’t received validation growing up… it’s hard to receive validation at all - seems almost fake or weird.
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Here, he gives the example where the villain is the dad, but in my mom's family, the villain was my grandmother and the hero was my grandfather. Later on, my mom's big sister turned up to be the villain, along with their mother, and my mom became the heroine. Now, my aunt is almost 80 and my mom is 78 y.o. and they are starting a process where they're not villains, nor victims. Never is too late.
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Grateful for your knowledge.
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Exactly my childhood description.
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I cant accept the blame, accusations and lies of others but i do accept that ive allowed,enabled and reacted to others
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The powerless feeling is sure something I can relate to. Not 100% of the time but often. My father was a mega-narcissist. Everything was about him. He loudly and meanly blamed us and complained in an ugly accusing tone that nothing was as it should be and that no one would help him. We felt powerless.
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After all that years in pain I realize, that this behavior is sadly more common out there, than I thought.
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This was the dynamic of my family system growing up. I grew up hating myself and others. By the grace of God, the book “The power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle came into my life and changed everything for me. I have been on a healing journey for the past 14 years. I wish everyone all the best out there on your journey to heal the traumas that was done to you and hopefully forgive your caregivers, “for they do not know what they have done “. 💛🙏
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This applies to narc siblings, too, where the parent(s) has usurped all authority. It's a free for all of endless torment.
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I think my wife and I have changed these roles over and over again
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Both parents were the victims of narcissistic older moms who didn’t want kids but got pregnant late in life by mistake & the fathers died early in their childhoods 💔 what are the odds that these two only children would meet then marry & have four daughters? Our closeted father was a cross dressing misogynist & my victim mother abandoned us in our teens 🤦♀️ you can’t make this up!
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Great insight about the problems am I missing the videos about the solution or how to heal the trama
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Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
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I and my adult kids need to walk this road ❤
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My parents oscillated between all three… very confusing as kids. My brothers and I are all damaged….
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People should not be able to so easily have kids
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So true! 💯
