Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters | Erica Komisar | EP 100

I went to college and worked until my son (18 now) was born. I have never worked outside the home since. I could not imagine leaving him. Trust your gut and not what society says. You’ll never have those years back. It’s the best

Ah... GUILT. Seeing my newborn in the NICU from his 2nd day of his life was so stressful, like it was my fault he got an infection. I FELT THE PAIN IN MY BODY not from the labour but something else. I couldn't hold him, breastfeed him, smell him, warm him up. It was torture. I knew he was looking for me. 😢

I restructured my life to work from home when my first two were growing up, and family helped out with my third, so that none of them ever went to daycare. They were always well attended to and loved… but they attended public school. Now that they are adult, somehow all three of them have anxiety and depression issues. They are also very caught up in woke issues and spend too much time online.

Tammy Peterson, you & jordan are amazing. You are helping so many people.

Thank you. I have been crying this from the rooftops forever.

17:32 For how smart the human race can be, we are pretty dumb sometimes. Of course holding your baby matters!! How crazy, we had to learn this.

I have trauma from walking away from my screaming 14 month old to "prove" myself to a boss during covid. She is so sweet and didn't deserve a mom who just walked away!

Thank you for this podcast, as a young mother it is so uplifting to hear i am doing the right thing. I've had so many people tell me it's better to bring them to a daycare so they can socialize yet when our kids are in a group setting with other kids mine are better behaved and have better social skills. Also people are always amazed at how little my babies cried and didnt use a pacifier during the day because i was always holding them and breastfed. Listen to your motherlyinstincts❤

I am 62 I still home I love it It's good that I did the correct for my daughter

Never ever thought daycare could replace me and made sure I could stay home. Building blanket forts to each lunch and have a nap in was awesome. Still got shamed by working Moms which made me chuckle cause their stress was palpable.

Thank you for this episode Tammy! As a young mother leaving my baby to go back to work never felt right. I looked at how our creator designed us and felt very convicted. Why would God give me the ability to breastfeed and arms to hold my baby and instinct to protect my little one only to leave him or her in childcare? So I could go back to my 9-5?

I think one of the hardest parts for many mothers isn't just societal pressure to get back to work, but also their own desire to get away from their baby. All mothers I personally know from my generation (millennials) and younger consider their child a burden. They basically all say the same thing. "Oh I love my child/children, but this this and that." Which is different from my mother's generation where most parents hardly ever complained about taking care of their children. Whether you liked it or not, you just did it because they're part of your family and part of you. Taking care of their children equated taking care of themselves (I understand it's not like this for many). Anyhow, point is that motherly protective instinct in modern western society is pretty much forcefully beaten out of the mothers. So even if the mothers have the chance to spend a few years being an @home mother to make sure their children will get a good base in their initial years, they wouldn't even choose to do it. That said, I think a year of basically paid full leave is hard to justify. It's very costly, most employers simply cannot afford to pay someone for a full year who doesn't work. A better solution would be to make some sacrifices. Short term that would just straight up mean lost income since the woman doesn't work and has no income, but long term if most people do this, society would be restructured in such a manner that it'll actually be viable again to take care of a family from a single income. Since if society thinks that a mother having time is important, it will structure itself in such a way to make that an option.

If you wanted to adopt a daycare-worker then daycare is a great idea… if you want to have children you like you have to be 💯 present. Just staying home isn’t enough if you are on Facebook etc… Well done, great show

I didn't use a sitter until my son was over a year old..also didn't force him to do pre-K....we struggled, but made it work financially.....it was a complete scrifice for me...BUT I knew to have a child, I had to be fully present....no tv until he was a toddler (then only max of an hour a day)...

I had to have a cesarean after an unsuccessful ECV procedure (my child was breech), and the way my skin responded to the stress of everything put me in the worst eczema flare (for months) in postpartum, while also recovering from the surgery. I was so scared to hold my newborn with how broken my skin was, and on top of everything else we experience in becoming a new mom it added an immense weight of guilt and depression for not being physically able to love her the way she deserved. Thankfully my husband was able to attend to her and her needs were met, but to this day it is still a struggle to practice grace for myself and not feel so negligent as a mom for not being able to physically able to meet her needs. It has also been hard to not question the bond I have with her compared to the bond my husband has, as their connection is incredible, so therefore hard to not wonder. But, I have faith, hope, and trust that with each day our relationship will get stronger. My husband and I both work from home, and thankfully my career allows me to set my own schedule so being present with her is much more attainable (and fortunate) than most women experience in the U.S.. I cannot imagine going through what we did and then having to put her into daycare: it's a blessing I do not take for granted.

I’m a retired pediatric occupational therapist. I volunteered at several day care facilities. This is what I witnessed: Newborn given formula instead of the breast milk the mother left in the refrigerator. Mother was not informed!!!! Babies put into swings and left for hours!!! Emergency paperwork, such as contact information, allergies, medications, etc. stuffed into a drawer that was not easily accessible! Harmful chemicals sprayed on top of the tables and the little ones would be allowed to sit while the person sprayed and wiped down. The majority of the kids had runny nose and allergies. Some children sat in soiled diapers for hours. I could go on… pathetic! And, mind you, this was at an elite child care center.

One of the best podcasts! I wish everyone, mums and dads, would listen to this. Such a great, healthy, powerful discussion❤️

In Germany you can stop working 6 weeks prior the due date and then you can stay home three years in total without loosing your workplace. Those 3 years can however also be taken at different times, e.g. when your child is older. Apart from the first 8 weeks after birth those are advised to take immediately. But also here only very few mothers stay home with their child)/children. It's a very sad and harmful development!

I love listening to Erica and Tammy talk!!! Great podcast!!!

Brilliant interview thank you. As a stay at home mum with an 18month old beautiful baby girl I really needed to hear this.. 🙏🏼 I was wondering whether I was depriving her a bit of group social interaction…