Interview With A Parent Who Hates Video Games

Everyone in comments and chat being mean to the mom need to understand that just by being willing to talk with Dr. K about this stuff means she is doing more than most parents ever will.

"My Son tells me everything" is the exact relationship where the son/daughter doesn't tell their parents everything

This man's ability to communicate is on a whole other level

To any parent, if your child responds with, "i'm not dumb," take that to be a warning sign that they are feeling demeaned/degraded by you. If you imagine one of your adult friends expressing such sentiment, you can understand that adult would likely stop regarding the opinion of the other in their life. Right, wrong, authority, love, care - regardless of these, if the present interaction pattern is continued you will lose your ability to speak into their life. Being the responsible adult, it is up to you to recognize and alter the course.

When I was in middle and high-school, late 90's early 00's, I loved skateboarding with my friends and was out morning until night with my friends skating. I constantly heard I needed to stay home more, why don't I play all those games I got for Christmas, why do I even pay for internet, etc. I think many parents will complain no matter what because their kid isn't doing exactly what they want their kid to do even if they are outside doing an activity.

not letting the person finish what they are doing and disabling the device is a great way to get your kid to hate your guts

I played video games constantly as a kid. My parents and siblings would always tell me to stop and do something else. So i'd ask them "what else is there to do?" and they'd say that was proof of my addiction....but never provide any alternative activity to do. As far as i can tell my parents hobbies were stare at the wall and my siblings hobbies were drugs. I was perfectly happy to put down the game and do something else but we lived in the middle of nowhere, had very little money, had very little alternative things to do.

This mum is seriously on the ball, nobody is perfect but being able to listen to the right advice without getting all defensive is a VERY good sign that her and her son will be just fine :) wish them all the best !

It's actually mind-numbing how good Dr.K is at talking to people

Kudos to this mother willing to come on and do this. The perspective that we viewers can take from this is that, in most cases, your parents genuinely want what is best for you, but don't know how to make that clear to us with such a drastic social paradigm shift due to technology and other factors. Mom here recognizes this problem at the very least and was willing to reach out for help and admit that what she is doing now isn't working.

This woman is doing way more than my mom ever will to understand me

props to her for being so open minded and looking at herself in the mirror when she noticed what she was doing wrong

The only part I disagree with was when he said "He doesn't fight you because deep down he knows you're right..." He doesnt fight because it's a not a fight he can win. There's nothing to gain. A higher power is telling him he's wrong and he has no where to go and nothing to say to fix it so he just needs to shut up and accept it regardless of how he feels. He can yell at her all he wants, but she said she ignores him when he does so there's really no point.

This reminds me of when my grandpa asked me frequently about whether or not I even cared about school. I would always tell him "yes" and he would ALWAYS do the "then why don't you-" thing. Eventually I was convinced that I really didn't care about it, so one day I said "No, I don't care about school" and he just got pissed at me instead of asking anything about it

I'm stupid

Just watching this man talk to people makes me want to implement "what do you think about that" into my vocab much more often. it feels like it pushes communication to another level

I understand video game addiction is real, but parents seem to not understand that the new generation builds true connections and friendships with people online. Playing video games for me is not "playing video games", but rather "socializing with my international friend group". It is actually kinda toxic to deny this from someone. Edit: typo

the issue I feel like with a lot of parents, is that they only see the online world as a tool for business or school. not as a platform that people can make friends on, make a living from, or have entertainment in. like, I play videogames with friends, but rather than seeing it as "playing those damn games again", it's "socializing and upkeep of social contacts". ofc there should be something outside of the online world, but the online world is way more than just a tool

Part of the conversation I'm not hearing in this though: there is a difference between an addiction and just an activity. This doesn't seem to be hurting his schoolwork, sleep, social life, etc. and he doesn't feel a disconnect in his desire to play games and the NEED to play them. He clearly enjoys them, doesn't want to change, and it isn't negatively affecting anything (other than either the mom's ego or the amount of time with her not being up to her expectations which could be a her thing). I wouldn't say that is an addiction... I think people throw around that word and some others like "obsession" and it's more of a projection of their own view of an activity in general versus the outcome of that activity. For one person that enjoys something it can be their "passion" or their "hobby" while in the eyes of someone who doesn't like those things they are doing it is simply and "obsession" or "addiction" and there is no conversing with that person when they show their colors like that.

As a mom of a 14, 11, & 5 year old children who came from parents who saw zero value in the internet, games, etc. this is very insightful for me. I have a good understanding and relationship with my oldest two children but the internet really scares me with not fully understanding the consequences of long term use. So fascinating. Seriously though, I’d love to join this teaching, I’m always open to learning/growing. Let’s hope I can find it! 🙌🏼